Happy first day of winter, lovely people! I’ve separated myself from social media quite a bit for the past two or so weeks. The break allows me to enjoy the season and try to develop a new perspective on how I want to move forward. Lately, I’ve been at quite a standstill with how I want to proceed with my life. I won’t bore you with the details but when I’m at this sort of place, I reach toward my creative side to give me the perspective I desperately need.
If you’re reading this right now, I just want to let you know that I value you as a reader. As a creative individual (which I like to consider myself to be) it means so much to know that someone else took a bit of time out of their day to read my words. Before proceeding, here’s a quote that resonated with me recently from one of my favorite articles by the fabulous Mark Manson:
There have been times where I felt conflicted and confused, where I mourned for a past self that I knew I would never see again while anxiously awaiting a future self who seemingly would never come.
-Mark Manson
Back in high school, I often received comments about how good my writing was. My friends who peer-edited my essays would say my papers were great and without mistakes. My teachers usually wrote comments about how I could go a little deeper with the analyses but they liked my fluency and word choice. Those were the essay reviews I received consistently throughout high school—and, let me tell you, I was in honors English classes so I wrote A LOT of essays.
The reason I received the same feedback from peers and teachers was likely for a couple of reasons.
- I treated each essay like it was a BIG DEAL. When it came to schoolwork and grades, I considered every assignment to be highly important so I put my full effort into making it as best as I could. On some occasions, I would literally spend a solid hour trying to find a synonym or the perfect way to word a sentence.
- For my thesis sentence in essays, I almost always took a neutral and qualifying stance on topics. That is, I wrote from the middle perspective and provided evidence to show how both sides of the topic were valid to an extent.
I didn’t know it at the time but I can now see that these are qualities that I carry with me in my everyday life.
Jumping Into New Commitments
I still treat the hobbies and endeavors I partake in with maximum effort. If there is something I am going to spend my time on, it must be important to me or important to someone close to me so I want it to be my best work. Thus, I am really choosy about new commitments, whether those are hobbies, people, jobs, or anything!
It is commendable to want to go into something ready to give it your all for the long haul but the contrary can also be a good thing. I would say there is a lot to learn when jumping into a new commitment without expectations. Something doesn’t have to be a big deal all of the time. Nor is there necessarily a perfect way to do something. Many times the best outcome you can get to make some mistakes and learn from them.
Make a Choice and Don’t Worry Where it May Lead You
Choices are a topic I really like talking about (see here and here). Maybe that is because I have a hard time making them. Still, I often find myself residing in the middle of an issue. I can see both sides and both have their own strong reasoning and appeal. That isn’t such a bad thing but I’ve always had a wishy-washy attitude and being indecisive gets you nowhere.
Plus, I think the brilliant thing about making a choice is that it can define you. The choice becomes the guiding force for however long you want it to be. When I’m struggling to find perspective, choosing anything helps me get clear on MY TRUE THOUGHTS. If I make a choice I am later pleased with, the experience will now assist me in tackling future situations of a similar nature. There are certainly a number of times where I am unhappy with a choice or fall hard on my ass because of it. Again, this majorly sucks but, it provides experience that assists me in future decision-making.
Personally, I think the worst thing I can do is stay still. Okay, besides meditation, there is little that I can benefit from when I’m staying still. I want to be ever-growing and to do so I also need to be ever-learning. This leads me to the creative process.
I think the reason I enjoy writing so much is because it helps me explore the strengths and possibilities of different ideas. It’s like a conversation…except I’m having it by myself and with a paper (or computer because #21stCentury).
Truth be told, many times when I sit down to type up a post I start with one idea and, by the time I’m through, it’s something else completely. The magic of writing is that I don’t realize how much is in my head until I get it down on (virtual) paper. From there, regardless of what I intended to write about, I’ll choose a post title appropriate for whatever I created. (Today’s post is an example of that and my next blog post will be on what I originally intended to write about.)
I encourage you to dive into your creative outlets to toss around ideas. Whether you play an instrument, paint, scrapbook, cook, or enjoy writing like me, the answers will unfold in front of you.
So, where is the answers part of the creative process? Interestingly enough, we often talk about our styles of something and those styles provide a look at why you’re inclined towards the things that you are pursuing. When you’re doing the activities, consider what you’re creating and why. Ask yourself if you’re taking a new approach or are you sticking with what is familiar? I consider creative outlets to be a safe space—your space—to figure yourself out.
If you’re stumped on where to go begin with creatively gaining perspective, I have an easy (sort-of) activity for you. On a single piece of paper, start jotting down what is on your mind right now. It can be a large brainstorm structure or simply use words, symbols, or drawings. Then, organize your thoughts. You can circle everything that is important with a highlighter and use other colors to circle secondary and tertiary things of importance. Alternatively, you can turn these things you’ve jotted down into a clear list.
My suggestion is to just focus on expressing whatever is on your mind before interpreting what comes out of the activity. Perhaps, afterwards, you may notice some related ideas or reoccurring themes. These, my friend, are the piece of perspective that you need at this moment in time.
It costs no money and requires no therapist. I like to think we have many of the answers we need inside of us already. We just need to allow ourselves time and grace to reveal them.
Thank you for reading. Let me know what this post meant to you by dropping me a comment or shooting me a message. I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Xoxo,
Melanie