New Theme Music, Being More Transparent, & Giving Myself the Freedom to Change
Melanie is here to bring you some updates along with some new intentions for greater communication and transparency. The Make It Happen Podcast is a place, not just for inspirational stories and tools for self-growth, but a place of honest connection and realness. These days, that’s hard to find. Thus, the reason it’s time to stop skimming the surface and start sharing more depth with you all.
Navigating Relationship Dynamics, Making Friends, and Dealing with Hookup Culture in Your 20s with Cris Lopez
This week, Melanie is joined by Cris Lopez for his second time on the podcast! This episode has a more casual approach to it as they talk all about relationships. A big part of the conversation touches on how COVID-19 has affected making friends and connecting with people, what quality makes you want to get to know someone else, the importance of trust, and the challenges of dating during your 20s.
Cris is the kind of person who can get along with most anyone so he shares how he’s been feeding connections during these times and how relationships can help us with how we view our sense of self.
This week Melanie is joined by Colleen Wetmore, the host of the Dare You To Move Podcast, for a discussion on what they’ve learned about their 20s. Colleen shares from the perspective of now being in her 30s, how she views her 20s and what experiences impacted her the most. Melanie is still midway through her 20s but offers up the experiences she’s been privy to so far.
The 20s are often associated with figuring out who you are and what you want and there’s no bounds to how those lessons take form. Melanie and Colleen chat about how spirituality affects their sense of identity in work, career, and personally. They also talk: societal conditioning around marriage and children, materialism, conscious choices, entrepreneurship, and expectations society imposes on the masses.
To Love and Let Go: A Memoir of Love, Loss, and Gratitude
To get the glowy skin you’ve been seeking and a risk-free trial of the famous FRE123 set, head to FreSkincare.com/MELANIEM and use code MELANIEM at checkout!
No need to look for discounts when this browser plug-in saves you money–Join Honey here for free and start saving today.
Do you believe that some problems have no solution? That situations, once they occur, are practically set in stone? Or that you can change the unchangeable in even the most unlikely situations?
I’ve shared before about various physical pain and discomfort that I’ve been dealing with (for a couple of years now). As a quick recap, it started out as TMJ-related jaw and neck pain but the pain has taken on so many varying forms. At the moment I deal with a feeling of tightness throughout my whole body and sharp pains down my back, arms, and hands. It’s a complex situation (and even harder for someone not experiencing the discomfort to wrap their heads around) but you can go read my posts on chiropractic care, and acupuncture treatmentfor some more details about what’s gone on with me physically.
I’m extremely versed in natural remedies, nutrition, holistic methods and the like–yet, these things haven’t quite helped take away my symptoms. At this point my pain isn’t something that I wonder: will it pop up today? It’s something I’ve already created adjustments for to help me manage this chronic issue. I’m not really looking for suggestions but what I do want to say is that all of us likely have areas where we feel like we’re getting by or maintaining something and it doesn’t feel great.
Do you have an area in your life that seems too big or too complex to change?
The optimist in me wants to tout that everything can be improved, however, the way things can improve is going to look different for everyone.
Sometimes change can look exactly like what we have in mind but, other times, we make things better by making other areas of our life better.
For example, I don’t think I’d be in the place I’m in right now, physically, if I decided my pain was too much and didn’t stretch or keep up with exercise. I think those things have helped me feel better! Neither one solved the problem of my physical pain but they sure do make it feel like less of a problem.
So how do we change the unchangeable?
The short answer is: we can’t always.
The long answer is: there are times when we can and times when we can’t.
I’m a big proponent of going after what you want! I lay out how to make the choice to change in this post here, but various factors play into simply having the ability to change. Maybe the thing we want to change is reliant on some other experiences we need to have first so that we can acquire information or gain skills to shift toward the new situation we want efficiently. The downside here is that time is unknown. You can’t put time demands on when you want to “be ready” or have something come to you.
Think of when you last had a heartbreak or split up from a partner. Everyone says, “time heals all wounds” but for a long time you’re probably just sad. That’s because you can’t decide you’ll feel better in 5 days, 5 weeks, or 5 months because the number isn’t what’s important. What’s important is the experiences you’re having while healing from the heartbreak. How are you taking care of yourself? Are you nourishing other parts of your life? Do you invest in relationships with those around you? Are you building upon your interests and skills? There’s no telling what can happen during the “time” post-fact but eventually it will lead you to a place where things hurt less and then not at all.
On the other side of the coin, and I really hate to say this but, there is the possibility that things won’t change. As in: the specific thing you want won’t change. For example, I know some people have a chronic illness that cannot be reversed. There are treatments, therapies, and lifestyle changes they can make that may help them but nothing will take away this chronic illness once they have it. I never want to tell someone to give up. I don’t believe in that. Yet, it can become dangerously addictive to keep seeking alternatives where there are none. So, at this point you can keep fighting the reality or look to other parts of your life where you can make a change.
Sometimes we can’t change what has happened to us but we always change the situations we expose ourselves to and the way we treat ourselves.
Again, this can look different for everyone. For some people, popping on a movie in the evening helps them forget the stressors of the day at a job they don’t feel they can leave. A friend of mine was working from home and suffering to maintain a schedule, so he requested to work directly at his office and that made a big difference!
Why do we have vacations? Those are also opportunities to take a break from what we’ve been doing and allow rest and rejuvenation. We can essentially seek to incorporate mini vacations, or pockets of pleasure as I like to call them, throughout our day and week.
It isn’t always about changing the thing directly. We can’t always quit the job, move to the place, get rid of x, y, z situation. Whether it be because we aren’t emotionally/mentally/physically/financially ready or because we are still on the journey and haven’t yet discovered the solution(s) yet, these are all valid spaces to be in.
Navigating when you can’t change that specific thing you want
I’ve learned to offer myself compassion more often now than ever before. Limitations, I used to think, were only self-imposed. I didn’t like hearing people blame this or that for their unhappy lives. While I still think you should do what you can to improve your situation, I have more understanding that it isn’t always so quick and easy, or even an option.
That’s okay, too.
We can assess what’s possible, what’s within our means right now, and if the options don’t feel right, then perhaps we set aside plans and concentrate on other areas of our lives for the time being. It’s up to us to choose wisely, while considering where we are, but there is certainly room for both.
Just take care of yourself as best you can, with the tools and knowledge you have now.
I have long been interested in personal development as a concept and as a practice for my own self-betterment. Yet, it wasn’t until recently how much I really enjoyed seeing other people’s growth and realizations about themselves in film. There’s something really amazing to me when I can watch a character’s journey and self-development as it is captured on film–particularly in a coming-of-age film!
Most people don’t experience dramatic changes all of a sudden but film allows you to follow a character over a period of time as they face a challenge, learn through an experience, or get involved in something new which completely shifts the way they are as a person. That beautiful growth, I feel, is so wonderfully captured in coming-of-age films in ways unrivaled by other genres of film.
As a quick sidenote: I am frequently using the word “film” here as opposed to movies, largely because I believe films to be more representative of an artwork made with intention (that may or may not be entertaining). Movies, on the other hand, strive for entertainment but may not always be accompanied by the artistic lens and intentional approach that films are keen on. I won’t ramble on about this but I think Robert Hardy describes it well here if you’re curious about the difference between films and movies.
To get back on point, I have always been drawn toward coming-of-age films are realized only recently that they often depict characters in struggles of self-acceptance, insecurities,friendships and relationships, exploring independence and cultivating valuesbetter representative of who they are now. Something I like to say is that these are movies about life.
So, if you, too, enjoy coming-of-age movies or if you’re curious to explore them, then keep reading.
Coming-of-Age Films You Should See
The Art of Getting By
What’s amazing about this film, besides the New York City setting, is the ease of which the main character goes about his life. George has his own schema based on what he knows and, as he is about to graduate high school, he’s been sliding by without really trying. It’s not until he meets Sally that he gets exposed to ideas, situations, and complications of the real world outside of his own.
On the surface, this story follows Elio as he blossoms into his own sensuality and sexual awakening upon meeting the older Oliver, a grad student staying with his family in Italy. In some ways, the romance between Elio and Oliver is a bit predatory but the genuineness of being young and falling in love is also beautifully shown here.
The Spectacular Now
Life seems to be all rainbows for the main character, Sutter, who has no thought about the future and only about living in the moment. It isn’t until he meets Aimee, who is different from the girls he’s known before, that his unpierceable veil of having it all together quickly crumbles. It definitely isn’t the healthiest portrayal of a relationship but there’s also room for a variety of relationships in coming-of-age films.
It’s Kind of a Funny Story
A suicidal teen checks himself into a psych ward and meets a few wacky but entirely normal friends. Through the characters, the story depicts how everyone has their own thing going on but rather than feel messed up because of the way he feels, his challenge is to come to acceptance and understanding of his own, and everyone else’s, unique quirks and stories.
Laggies
When Megan is faced with a proposal from her boyfriend, she runs away unsure of how to handle the situation. She befriends the much younger Annika and who Megan easily connects with because of her own adolescent tendencies. Megan is so used to living like a child without responsibility but, through Annika, she learns to step into her age and herself.
Like many of the films on this list, The Perks of Being a Wallflower is based on a book however, I much prefer the film adaptation of this one. While the book reads like a series of letters, the film catalogs Charlie’s reemergence into friendships, love, and even himself so vividly. Despite the trauma of his childhood, Charlie discovers who he is and his infinite value with the help of two good friends which is what makes this 90s era film eternally relatable.
Paper Towns
Another book that’s much better as a film adaptation, in my opinion. Paper Towns the book felt like a story where nothing really happens but the film highlights friendship in a beautiful way. A group of teens soon to graduate from high school get together in search of their friend Margo who has suddenly disappeared. What they thought they’d find and what they actually do find are each their own.
The Age of Seventeen
Nadine feels like her life is thrown upside-down when her best friend begins dating her older brother. While the betrayal stings, Nadine struggles to find ways to open up to the people around her. She seeks validation from adults and boys in the hopes of feeling like she is important too. The Age of Seventeen is a depiction of learning to use your words and give yourself what you crave instead of seeking ways to fill a void.
“Ladybird” feels beyond her high school life and helicopter parents and strives to live the life she dreams of. She all too quickly abandons her best friend and her true interests to pursue the grown up life she thinks she should have. Through the avant-garde main character, we see that you need not look outside yourself for who you are.
St. Elmo’s Fire
Different from most of the films on this list, St. Elmo’s Fire is coming-of-age film showcasing life right after college (instead of high school) for a group of friends as they navigate romantic relationships, beginning careers, and their sense of self, and the bond of friendship now as adults.
The Graduate
Easily the oldest one on this list, the classic film depicts the in-between time right after college when young adults consider what’s ahead. The track is often laid out for them: go to school, get a job, and get married. If that is what’s pushed on everyone, it brings into question what is actually going to make you happy.
Told through the eyes of a teenage journalist and music fan, William is on assignment from Rolling Stone magazine to cover an up-and-coming band’s tour. On the road, he is exposed to the dynamics between bandmates and their fans, where the line is between being a journalist and taking part in what’s happening around him as a human and friend, and the overall complexities of relationships.
Notable Mentions
Holes
I saw Holes repeatedly when I was younger and it isn’t until watching it with adult eyes that I noticed the troubled cases that led the characters to arrive together. The story touches on the value of friendship, the impact of violence and history, and the detrimental way that one moment can change everything.
Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
Is there a truer depiction of friendship than four best friends who use letters and a pair of jeans to keep them connected over the course of a summer? Each of the friends has their own unique adventure and story about growth, experiences, and love.
If I Stay
When a talented young violinist gets into a car accident with her family, she stands precariously between life and death as she reconsiders the life she has been living and if it is worthwhile to carry on. While I thoroughly enjoyed the book more, the film portrays the way family and friends can create such a supportive system to allow the young main character to trust herself and what she wants.
The thing that stands out about Say Anything is the maturity and pure relationship between the main characters. While it’s a rom-com by genre, it captures two teenagers right out of high school with their own established goals and self-identity. They think they have it all together, and for a moment they do, but each of them bring out areas and qualities in each other’s lives in a way some adult relationships in film may never even show.
The Breakfast Club
It might seem overplayed when millennial culture revisited The Breakfast Club but this movie is pretty quintessential high school. Teens from different cliques all connect through one Saturday detention at school. It definitely illuminates how, no matter their social circle, everyone has their own struggles and insecurities.
Pretty in Pink
As a teenager, this was my personal favorite 80s movie so it deserves a place on this list. Andie is a poor girl, not part of the in-crowd in high school, which is all she craves. Her best friend sees her for who she is despite her striving to be more and fit in with the cool crowd. Financial privilege, popularity, and impactful relationships are what make this a stand out film.
You can find the coming-of-age trope in many films of olden times and now. Everything from The Outsiders to Scott Pilgrim vs. The World alludes to the issues teens and young adults face while growing up. It’s a fascinating and relatable time, however it shows up in film, so it never gets old for me.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this list of my favorite coming-of-age films! Do you see the personal development and self-growth aspects that I’m fond of? What are your favorite coming-of-age films? Do share in the comments!
Xo Melanie
P.S. Check out my other favorite movie list inspired by the Fall Feels here.
We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking “Accept”, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies.
This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously.
Cookie
Duration
Description
cookielawinfo-checbox-analytics
11 months
This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics".
cookielawinfo-checbox-functional
11 months
The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional".
cookielawinfo-checbox-others
11 months
This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other.
cookielawinfo-checkbox-necessary
11 months
This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-performance
11 months
This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance".
viewed_cookie_policy
11 months
The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. It does not store any personal data.
Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features.
Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors.
Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc.
Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads.
