A year ago, even 6 months ago, I had so many questions.
Why did this happen? Why didn’t my accomplishments make me proud? Why did it seem like every minor mistake I made was blasted on the big screen? Why did my supervisor belittle and neglect me? Why did I get passed over for opportunities to advance even though I was qualified? Why did the boy I love not love me enough to commit? Why did my best friend only make time to see me when it was convenient for her? Why aren’t I enough?
The list goes on.📃 However, the commonality with all of these questions is how riddled with self-doubt I felt and I didn’t even know it. 🙇🏻♀️ I thought I was motivated and giving everything a fair shot. I was doing the best I could but I was also wearing the shoes of a victim. I made myself small.
I felt like the world was happening around me and to me without ME having any say in it. I still feel like this almost every day. And every day I remind myself I am in control of my life.💡 Not because I have any supernatural powers to control the way things play out or how someone feels about me…but because I have control over how I choose to look at the world and the many actions that come with that.
It is approaching life with the idea that I deserve to be here instead of wondering “why me?”. It is about my development of strengths rather than being ruled by perceived weaknesses.🧗🏻♀️ It’s a shift from self-hinderance to self-empowerment.
I am growing and blossoming. In an effort to be more authentic to myself, I want to start posting more regularly on here with similar thoughts to these.
For anyone else trying to step into their own, I recognize you and I respect you. You are not alone.
Today is also Mother’s Day. From the perspective of a daughter with a challenging relationship with her own mother, I think we are all trying. Whatever shape or form that takes changes. It isn’t always understood or expressed effectively. We are trying to do our best to take care of ourselves and those we care about. 💗
In conversation with a dear friend of mine recently, he said one thing he likes about me is that I am tirelessly ambitious in the area of self-improvement. He said it with genuine admiration and I appreciated his noticing because I’d say that’s a quality I highly value in myself. Ambition, not in the cut-throat, reckless sense of the word but in the goal-setting, driven meaning of it.
I pride myself on self-development and, because of that, I like to see other people improve themselves.
There is a popular quote, attributed to Jim Rohn that goes, “You’re the average of the five people spend the most time with”. It is a phrase I’ve heard tossed around but I’ve been considering how that rings true lately. I think the intention behind the words is to keep people around who are supportive in your journey. Not just people who will give you a pat-on-the-back or offer the standard, “Congratulations on your achievement!” sort of support but people who will go through the thick of the roughage with you and you with them!
It is already difficult enough to make friends who are like-minded, supportive, and willing to put in effort into a friendship. We attract and maintain friendships with people usually because they serve one of those 3 purposes. Yet, I’ve also been thinking about how the needs of my own friendships have changed over time.
In my young adult life, I discovered the concept of self-work and, as I mentioned earlier, I enjoy spending time on that.
The act of setting goals and creating intentions is part of my weekly, if not daily vocabulary. I even have a list of the many areas I’d like to grow in and things I’d like to accomplish but I recognize I can only sanely manage a few things at a time. Therefore, I frequently set mini goals to work on and over time, use these to gauge my improvement. This is the sort of stuff that lights me up. I love seeing growth in myself through measures of my own design and my own choosing. I digress….
So, what has been troubling for me to discover is that not everyone is on the mission of self-improvement. I don’t mean to be so ignorant as to assume everyone wants the same thing as me. However, I admit I was under the impression that others wanted more, too.
This isn’t about me being young and naïve or having a world of possibilities ahead of me. (Though, many people I’ve spoken with who are older than I am like to say that.) I believe self-development knows no age limit. I’ve seen it play out firsthand that one is never too young or too old to take an interest in improving themselves. All a person needs is a desire for change and a little motivation to propel it forward.
For some, they are content with what they have and where they are at. They may not even be thrilled by the life they are living but they are comfortable and that is enough to keep them stagnant or simply not searching for more. To clarify what I mean by more, I’m talking about the stuff we can’t touch. It is common for us to think of ways to “improve” ourselves through a job, our paycheck, or being able to afford to purchase things we like or want. However, those are all material things and the intangiblemore isn’t visible on the physical plane we often dwell. The intangible are the goals and personal growth I was talking about earlier but also connection! While elusive to the naked eye, all of this is much more substantial and satisfying to our spirits!
People, of course, have the right to live their lives as they wish but when I am considering the people I surround myself with, I seek depth. I want to be able to share my experiences with people close to me and have them understand. I want to hear about the obstacles and naysayers standing in a person’s way and feel inspired by their persistence to combat the barriers in front of them with a brave face. I want to have relationships with people where we can discuss how we would like to strive for more—not because we are wildly dissatisfied with our current state but—because we know there is more to experience!
I have done a lot of self-work and only see more room for my own improvement. The less acknowledged area of exploration is the universe that exists inside of us. So, for me, it isn’t a chore or a mission; it’s just empowering to see what I am capable of and be brave enough to challenge myself even when the future is unknown.
I spend so much time with myself and consuming content from online influencers who are of a similar vibe but I want that real life connection. It’s awesome to open up my phone and have this inspiring influx of information but I feel called to reassess the friendships I have held onto so tightly. Little by little I have lost touch with more friends than I have acquired. That is okay because it is all about quality over quantity for me. However, as I’ve been going through my health coaching program, I see a huge potential for expansion in myself. I then look around me and am at a bit of a loss for individuals of the same vibe to share in the journey with.
Without going into all the details about childhood wounds and whatnot, I’m now able to reflect on the people I’ve surrounded myself with throughout my life and how they’ve served me. They benefited me for the place I was at but I can now look back and realize I wanted more then, too. It’s like, when you have a feeling of something and you just don’t know the word for it. I could feel I wanted more out of the people I surrounded myself with but I did not know what that meant, nonetheless how to acquire that. In recent years I’ve been able to understand myself and my needs a lot more. So, I’ve come to a place where I can’t save space for people who aren’t voracious about improvement or motivated to be better.
I do not have ill will toward any of the friends I grew up with or met later in life. I think everyone is where they are supposed to be for their personal journey. Some people stay content forever without ever doing the self-development work that I am personally so invested in…and that is okay. However, it is accessible to everyone. There is a universe that exists inside of each of us and we can all explore it if only we have the desire.
The greatest thing I can do is learn and when I feel the changes I seek in myself happening, I am encouraged to keep going. It is a process that knows no limit to depth. So rather than be preoccupied over where the high-vibe, growth-driven people I desire are, I trust the process; that through my self-work, I am already calling in the expansive people who can journey with me at this next part of my life.
Have you cut ties with friends because you needed different things than they could provide? Or have you grown with your friends? I’d love to hear what your experiences are.
I try to make this blog a positive space while also acknowledging the very real, and sometimes messy, things I’m going through. I hope sharing my experiences provides you with stories you can relate to or provides some value as far as letting you know that we all have some hardships and things we’re going through.
I’m actually writing this post from the wooden bench seats inside a local Starbucks, sipping an Earl Grey tea. Okay, not sipping yet because Starbucks boils the fuck out of their hot water so I will scald my tongue if I even attempt to drink it right now. Can you relate?
Sometimes it is something small that brings us together, like our thoughts on (the temperature of) drinks at Starbucks; other times it is a little heavier. Today I’m going to address love and how that translates from our experiences in our head to our heart.
In the month of December, a friend of mine spoke about how just because some people are not in her life anymore that does not mean they can’t be in her heart. At the same time, she recognized that she could be in other people’s hearts, too.
We have criteria for judging whether or not someone in our lives is living up to the tile we give them. If it is a friend or a romantic partner, we have some expectations for what that means. In my experience, I’ve struggled with having people come into my life and say they care about me but not showing that. When someone I consider close to me also vocalizes my importance to them, I wonder how it is that we can separate. Where does the love go?
FRIENDS
For a long time, I was holding onto frustration with a friend of mine who I have known since junior high. It’s a special kind of friendship when someone has known you since you wore checkered Vans and chalked your hair (every generation has their trends). There have been times where our friendship seemed to fizzle and I couldn’t understand what changed. Usually it was the hurdle of distance that we would need to overcome but we would always come back to each other.
Though, during the past year I have noticed us growing apart in a different way. Her life is heading in a different direction. I’m really looking to grow myself and she’s looking to settle down and grow her family. This isn’t a recipe for a friendship breakup but my efforts to keep up with her are not reciprocated. She’d put aside hangouts we’d schedule for minor things that would come up. Rescheduling just never happened and, naturally, I took offense. I remember her calling me her best friend on multiple occasions so what happened to that?
I felt like I was always available as a friend to her and she wasn’t nearly as available for me. Some people might say this is a clear point to move on when I obviously am not receiving the amount of effort I put in back toward me. Still, I remember when I was important to her. So, I’ve come to a place where I release the frustration and resentment and just accept. I think of my friend’s words and muse that, perhaps, this is what love is like now. I don’t have any less love for her just because I’m not one of the first few to hear her big news or because she can’t meet up with me. Love has transcended into a more sophisticated sense of respect. At least, that is what I hold for her…and maybe that is what she holds for me, now, too.
It was only recently that I started to think of love’s ability to touch our hearts for longer periods than someone’s presence can provide. Just as we mourn the loss of a loved one, we feel the pain of separation from someone we care about deeply. Yet, it is with that mentality that I can hold love and great appreciation for a person whom I no longer have around.
LOVERS
I once was asked if I had ever been in love (romantically). My then 23-year-old-self responded with an absurd sounding number, like 7. The person I was speaking with made me feel a bit silly because several of those people I was “in love” with I was never in a relationship with. They all felt important to me at one time though so, if they weren’t all loves, then maybe none were. I then responded with, “none” as my answer. I was still met with a skeptical response.
At the time, I couldn’t quite constitute my thoughts surrounding love but I’ve since recognized that love exists in many forms. Love isn’t always reciprocated the way I wish. However, that does not take away from how I feel about a person or the magic they possess. The memories I have of a person hold a love that is unchangeable. In this current moment in time, situations may be different but I must fairly acknowledge the feelings of my younger self and the sparks that were so important to her!
If I do not respectfully label the love I had for a person when I was younger and somewhat naïve as such, then with what marker can I use to assess love in my life now?
The person who was disbelieving of my number of loves was also one of my loves. After saying 7, and then none, I settled on one. One was all that mattered then. He thought I was speaking about my last boyfriend but, little did he know, I was talking about him.
In my efforts to keep this post somewhat valuable and not just a gushy diary entry, I’ll spare you the details of what transpired between us. Although, if you’re interested, I have described a little bit about what happened in this post. I wasn’t looking for a relationship but I couldn’t help but fall in love with his light and his imperfections the first moment I spoke with him. I knew I wanted to be with him. Consequently, for a long time, my perspective on how everything played out was blinded by my feelings. Feelings which did not allow me to even attempt to wrap my mind around how someone could say he cared so deeply for me yet not want to be with me.
I doubted myself so much after that. I doubted my ability to see what I felt was a light in someone else. I doubted my judgment of what risks were worth taking. I remember his hurt expression on that dark and distant day when I said I loved him—and that made me doubt my ability to put trust in my heart.
He and I spent the better parts of several weeks together but I cannot attempt to understand what goes on in someone else’s head. In the end, all I was left with were his words. Words that validated what I felt we shared but were accompanied by actions that I disagreed with. I think many of our relationships can unfold this way. We say what our heart feels but our head provides the guidance for actions. This same person once said to me that we are in a constant battle between logic and emotion and it’s hard to decide which one we’ll let win.
For my friendships that have faded and my lovers lost, I cannot hold a space for you anymore. Instead, I hold onto the memories that touched me and the feelings that changed me. All of which remind me that love does not only exist in one way. Love is as free-flowing and constant as you allow it to be. It is this mentality that encourages me not to be afraid of putting my heart out there again.
The impact of people who have come into my life, for however long they stayed, does not go unnoticed. Those outward expressions of love that we experienced cannot last but they can exist in our hearts for as long as we desire. They exist as a reminder that we are alive, we feel, and that love is ours to create and give to whoever we want.
This post is dedicated to Teresa, whose words about our hearts and love made such an impact on me.
I want to help empower people to take control of their personal health. In order to do so, I want to provide people with the tools and information they need to be their most empowered and healthiest selves.
Today’s post is not about me trying to convince anyone else to become a health coach. Rather, I just like to keep you guys informed of what I’m up to and that’s exactly what I’m going to do today. I may have alluded to it before but I find it cathartic to express myself through these posts. It is purely a splendid bonus if, in the event that you’re contemplating anything similar, my experiences feel relatable and are of some help. (Also, if that is the case then feel free to email or DM me and we can chat more♥)
For the past few years, my health has become the most important thing in my life. If you asked teen Melanie what the most important thing in her life was, it would’ve probably been something like watching her favorite shows on The CW…which is just nowhere near as important now. Anyway, my health has been through wild ups and downs all throughout my life. It is a funny thing to look back on what events or behaviors occurred that were basically alluding to something bigger.
What are the big life things that made me want to become a health coach? Well, I could tell you about how I have had issues with disordered eating or exercise addiction that caused me to even lose my freaking period for over a year but I think these sort of situations were only the tipping point(s).
As well, I could tell you how I’m SUPER passionate about food. I have been a foodie since I was born and it was only a matter of time until I started caring what went into my food. Yet, I am only one person with my own experiences in nutrition. Therefore, I want to further educate myself on the subject so that I can help others make informed decisions about their personal nutrition. As a result, better nutrition can lead to improved health in other ways, not to mention, overall an increased state of well-being.
At the moment, I am in the process of obtaining my certification as an Integrative Nutrition Health Coach. Before explaining what that means, let me reiterate the first sentence of today’s post which provides my personal mission as a health coach.
I want to help empower people to take control of their personal health. In order to do so, I want to provide people with the tools and information they need to be their most empowered and healthiest selves.
Though, I want to dive a little deeper into the WHY.
I used to think health coaches were a joke in the health and wellness space. Basically, I thought this was a made-up career. I thought health coaches were people with self-dubbed titles who just spammed fitness accountability groups online in an effort to gain clients (and rip them off). Obviously there is a commercialized aspect of many career fields like this but that isn’t everything health coaching is about!
I have learned that people seek out the information they want when they need it. There is a degree of outward effort that I will put into gathering clients and sharing (ideally with minimal spam, LOL) what I do but people need to find their way to me organically. I can spam all the fitness accountability groups on Facebook and Instagram with advertisements about my services but that won’t get me very far.
I greatly believe that when you seek out information yourself, you are more likely to take action or make personal changes because you are ready to invest in yourself.
I am walking into the next steps of my coaching journey ready to soak up all of the nutrition information and develop skills on how to better assist clients on a personal level. That is my next step and I sought it out by researching, investigating, and signing up for the Institute of Integrative Nutrition’s health coaching program. Not long from now, in 2019, I will hold the title of an Integrative Nutrition Health Coach.
It is no secret that everyone has their own ideas of what it means to be “healthy”. There are countless books, blogs, and careers with different approaches to target that exact same concept. Plus, I know the information in the health and wellness industry is over-saturated and nutrition information in particular is confusing. I hope to prove that there is no need for trendy or crash diets because a whole foods way of eating is simply something that everyone can benefit from. Understandably, there are other factors that make eating healthy hard and I will be here to address those, too.
I want to be the link between people and their personal health. I am all about the holistic approach and believe that we each have the ability to achieve optimum health. In my process of achieving my Integrative Nutrition Certification, I look forward to enhancing my own system of knowledge and skill set so that I can help others create their best health.
I hope I’ve provided a clearer perspective on my WHY behind becoming a health coach—a nutrition health coach in particular. I’m not ready to begin seeing clients yet but if you would like to work with me in the future, then stay tuned around here because you all will be the first to know!
As a final note, I did not write this post with the intention to recruit others to join me as a health coach but if you are interested in my same program, through the Institute of Integrative Nutrition, don’t hesitate to reach out. I’d be more than happy to answer any questions you may have.
Are you a podcast-listener? I can’t say I’ve always been into podcasts because only in recent years did I discover the magic that they offer. I thought podcasts were only for NPR business folks and religious expression but that’s only a small fraction of the podcast universe. As a matter of fact, they’re so diverse that today I’m sharing my favorite health and wellness centered podcasts.
Before we get to the list, I know there are some people out there who need some convincing. If you have yet to get into podcasts, here are some reasons why I love them:
1. They serve as an educational tool and offer exposure to people and ideas you may not otherwise hear about
2. An episode or two in the morning or the evening helps me ease into/out of my day
3. It feels like I’m sitting in on a conversation with friends when I listen to podcasts
When I started listening to my first favorite podcast, I enjoyed knowing there were many episodes for me to listen to and jump around with as I pleased. (Back in the day that was Stuff Mom Never Told You). Once I caught up with all of the episodes, I took a years-long break from podcasts.
Now, I’m back at it and exploring other podcast series! There’s a few that I keep on rotation and am siked to recommend. I hope some of these strike your interest or encourage you to give listening to podcasts a try if you don’t already!
This high-vibe podcast started out as being an inspirational interview series between Jordan Younger, the woman behind The Balanced Blonde blog, and entrepreneurs in the health and wellness industry. Slowly, it transitioned into more of a holistic health and spirituality podcast. Jordan keeps it real and gives listeners some next-level vibes that I can’t say I’ve found elsewhere. There are some stand-alone episodes that I really enjoy but you get a better feel for Jordan’s journey (and yours as you go along with her) if you listen from the beginning.
I first became obsessed with Kalyn’s Coffee Talks on her YouTube channel. She touches on everyday issues like anxiety, stress, time management, and more. Kayln is young but she is extremely helpful for advice on manifesting positive life changes. During her short but informational podcasts, she’ll talk through how a subject affects her and address the unconscious processes we may go through. On each episode, she provides suggestions for kicking bad habits and tips for how to be your most productive and badass self. These are GOLD.
Talia, the host of the PiMP podcast, is a ball of energy! She is so passionate about the benefits of plant-based foods while also providing tools to make it doable for everyone. Her podcast episodes are very insightful because each episode narrows in on specific topics related to physical, mental, or dietary health. The podcast is also a great resource for any and all sorts of healthy living tips you could ever want!
This is a fairly new but awesome podcast addition to the health and wellness sphere. My Instagram pal, Andrea, co-hosts the podcast but I’m not playing favorites here. The Vreeken Bessa Show feels like a cozy sit-down with girlfriends discussing holistic health and women’s issues. Some topics you may have read about or heard of before but still give the episodes a listen—the hosts put a fresh spin on them that you won’t want to miss. The show is only a few episodes in so definitely start with the first episode.
OPP is hosted by the amazing blogger and cookbook author Jessica Murnane. She speaks to other bloggers, authors, scientists, and revolutionaries in different fields. She has her own set of health issues so she does a beautiful job of bringing that to light and providing specific resources for listeners and their varied concerns. I love how easy it is to jump around amongst episodes so if you want to dive into some random favorites of mine, check out: Episode 19:Finding Your Gift With De’Mar Hamilton of The Plain White T’sand Episode 95Are You an Empath?+Strategies for Sensitive People with Dr. Judith Orloff.
It was very hard to keep this list at just 5 because I have a lot of podcast loves. I’ll save my other genre of podcast faves for another day. 🙂 If you listen to podcasts, what genre do you like? I’d love to hear any podcast recommendations!
In a society where the average person is still shocked by the idea of vegetarianism, where do vegans fit in? While I don’t completely associate with the term vegan, I have tried to follow the lifestyle for the most part. Also, when I say lifestyle, that involves not just food but any material products I choose to consume, too. Today’s post is a quick list of three things no one tells you about going vegan. I’m not saying going vegan is bad or good but, rather, with any choice, there are obstacles. The following are some of the obstacles I’ve had to deal with but they may not necessarily be the case for everyone.
The world isn’t changed, just you.
You know how it feels when you learn some new information and suddenly feel like you want to make a change in the world? For anyone who has watched a video on cruelty in the meat industry or the environmental issues surrounding a diet loaded with animal products, those things are hard to unseen. Personally, I’ve taken those learnings with me and tried to inform others. People might be moderately interested in hearing about such information once but few times are they ready to change their lives because of a conversation.
Your new enlightened state of what the meat/dairy/egg/or other industries are doing may make you not want to so much as look at the deli counter of the grocery store. Beyond the cruelties of the industries, the benefit of a plant-based diet speaks for itself. Though, I feel like people need to come across that information on their own.
People don’t feel motivated to change by hearing someone else tell them why they need to change but by seeing when someone is doing something right. Right now vegans only comprise a mere 6% of the population in the United States. The plants, animals, and environment still need an advocate but I wouldn’t get so invested in trying to convert your family and friends to be like you. That is a sure-fire way to lose some friends. Rather, if you’re passionate about this or anything, lead by example and the rest will follow.
Food serves as a bonding experience in every culture. To not partake in the mainstream experience can make you feel like an outsider.
No matter what your background, food is one facet that brings people together. It is necessary to stay involved and participate in familial or social gatherings despite personal preferences. Many cultures have their staple dishes that involve meat and/or cheese at center-stage. I definitely don’t have a desire to eat the dishes but I miss the feeling of enjoying what everyone else is enjoying.
As my family oohs and ahs over the barbecue ribs or seafood cocktails, I feel like an awkward wallflower at the table. Sure, there might be dishes like salads or rice that are prepared vegan-friendly and can be taken advantage of. Though, oftentimes, when I know there won’t be something I can eat, I’ll even make my own meal and take it to a gathering. I’ll receive curious looks and maybe even some questions about what I’m eating but that’s as far as it goes.
If you want to be adventurous and make a vegan dish to take to a gathering, be prepared for the worst. I’ve spent days planning delicious wild rice pilafs and three-bean salads only to have to take the entire dish back home. Understand who you’re dining with when deciding whether or not to cook. Hopefully your company is more willing to try something different.
A limited set of options can lead to restricted or disordered eating.
I know this is super controversial to say. It definitely is not the case for everyone. Though, the more I read about nutrition and try to tackle symptoms of intolerance, the more I limit my options for food. When you are a vegan, obviously that involves zero animal products. What if you are also intolerant to gluten or sensitive to caffeine? I’m not saying this to make you question what you can or should eat. Rather, I personally feel that my world gets significantly smaller when I eliminate so much from my diet. Thus, my anxieties about food increase. This can be a whole post on its own so I’ll pick this topic up again later!
The ingredients label is its own unique language.
So, you took Spanish in high school but did anyone teach you that “natural glaze” can be an alternative phrase for “glaze made from insects”? Or that filtration methods for alcoholic beverages might involve fish bladders? There is entirely no way to know this sort of thing from the packaging alone.
Besides being helpful, it is downright necessary to read every ingredient label. Some brands are good about listing allergens like Milk or Egg in big print under the ingredients list. Though, if you’re vegan, you’ve got to look out for more than that. Some seemingly simple crackers might look fine but honey is listed in the ingredients list. An ice cream boasting a “dairy-free” label may still have egg yolks or, less conspicuously, whey powder.
When in doubt about an ingredient, pull out your master sleuth skills and Google it. For alcohol, I’d suggest researching ahead of time and having a few brand names in mind as options. Also, don’t forget that packaging may be deceiving but real, fresh produce doesn’t lie. Fruit and vegetables need no ingredients label. : )
Bonus: for my small town homies, you know what it feels like to scavenge off the side dishes.
Just because trendy restaurants like True Food Kitchen or Chipotle offer vegan menu items, that doesn’t mean your mom-and-pop diners are going to, too. In my hometown, chain-restaurants are my best bet. As much as I’d love to support local businesses, they don’t post allergen menus online. That is basically the cheat sheet to knowing whether a dish contains or may be cross-contaminated with milk, eggs, soy, gluten, or nuts.
Even given that tool, I’m lucky if I can find three items on a menu that I can eat without asking for accommodations. House salads, guacamole, and French fries are usually safe bets. Though, the last one is also dicey if you think about the shared fryer oil. Those pitiful but humble choices make you really appreciate the value of home-cooked food. Plus, if you ever get the chance to eat at a vegan restaurant or vegan-friendly restaurant, it will make you appreciate the meal all the more.
I do not want to deter anyone from adopting a vegan way of eating or living. Given the above mentioned things no one tells you about going vegan, I give myself leniency and offer the same to others. You pick your battles and you do what you can, my friends. While I whole-heartedly advocate for going 100% vegan if you can do it. I also whole-heartedly believe we need to do right by our minds and bodies.
My ethics lie in veganism but dietary preferences sometimes fluctuate between vegetarian and vegan. Lately, I lean more towards the latter but you’ve got to do what is right for you. I believe in moderation. An extreme approach in anything does not allow for you to live your life to the fullest but it is up to you to determine where you draw the line.
Thank you for reading! What do you think? Have you felt any of these situations to be true? Also, stay tuned for an upcoming post elaborating more on the topic of food anxieties!
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