Do you believe that some problems have no solution? That situations, once they occur, are practically set in stone? Or that you can change the unchangeable in even the most unlikely situations?
I’ve shared before about various physical pain and discomfort that I’ve been dealing with (for a couple of years now). As a quick recap, it started out as TMJ-related jaw and neck pain but the pain has taken on so many varying forms. At the moment I deal with a feeling of tightness throughout my whole body and sharp pains down my back, arms, and hands. It’s a complex situation (and even harder for someone not experiencing the discomfort to wrap their heads around) but you can go read my posts on chiropractic care, and acupuncture treatmentfor some more details about what’s gone on with me physically.
I’m extremely versed in natural remedies, nutrition, holistic methods and the like–yet, these things haven’t quite helped take away my symptoms. At this point my pain isn’t something that I wonder: will it pop up today? It’s something I’ve already created adjustments for to help me manage this chronic issue. I’m not really looking for suggestions but what I do want to say is that all of us likely have areas where we feel like we’re getting by or maintaining something and it doesn’t feel great.
Do you have an area in your life that seems too big or too complex to change?
The optimist in me wants to tout that everything can be improved, however, the way things can improve is going to look different for everyone.
Sometimes change can look exactly like what we have in mind but, other times, we make things better by making other areas of our life better.
For example, I don’t think I’d be in the place I’m in right now, physically, if I decided my pain was too much and didn’t stretch or keep up with exercise. I think those things have helped me feel better! Neither one solved the problem of my physical pain but they sure do make it feel like less of a problem.
So how do we change the unchangeable?
The short answer is: we can’t always.
The long answer is: there are times when we can and times when we can’t.
I’m a big proponent of going after what you want! I lay out how to make the choice to change in this post here, but various factors play into simply having the ability to change. Maybe the thing we want to change is reliant on some other experiences we need to have first so that we can acquire information or gain skills to shift toward the new situation we want efficiently. The downside here is that time is unknown. You can’t put time demands on when you want to “be ready” or have something come to you.
Think of when you last had a heartbreak or split up from a partner. Everyone says, “time heals all wounds” but for a long time you’re probably just sad. That’s because you can’t decide you’ll feel better in 5 days, 5 weeks, or 5 months because the number isn’t what’s important. What’s important is the experiences you’re having while healing from the heartbreak. How are you taking care of yourself? Are you nourishing other parts of your life? Do you invest in relationships with those around you? Are you building upon your interests and skills? There’s no telling what can happen during the “time” post-fact but eventually it will lead you to a place where things hurt less and then not at all.
On the other side of the coin, and I really hate to say this but, there is the possibility that things won’t change. As in: the specific thing you want won’t change. For example, I know some people have a chronic illness that cannot be reversed. There are treatments, therapies, and lifestyle changes they can make that may help them but nothing will take away this chronic illness once they have it. I never want to tell someone to give up. I don’t believe in that. Yet, it can become dangerously addictive to keep seeking alternatives where there are none. So, at this point you can keep fighting the reality or look to other parts of your life where you can make a change.
Sometimes we can’t change what has happened to us but we always change the situations we expose ourselves to and the way we treat ourselves.
Again, this can look different for everyone. For some people, popping on a movie in the evening helps them forget the stressors of the day at a job they don’t feel they can leave. A friend of mine was working from home and suffering to maintain a schedule, so he requested to work directly at his office and that made a big difference!
Why do we have vacations? Those are also opportunities to take a break from what we’ve been doing and allow rest and rejuvenation. We can essentially seek to incorporate mini vacations, or pockets of pleasure as I like to call them, throughout our day and week.
It isn’t always about changing the thing directly. We can’t always quit the job, move to the place, get rid of x, y, z situation. Whether it be because we aren’t emotionally/mentally/physically/financially ready or because we are still on the journey and haven’t yet discovered the solution(s) yet, these are all valid spaces to be in.
Navigating when you can’t change that specific thing you want
I’ve learned to offer myself compassion more often now than ever before. Limitations, I used to think, were only self-imposed. I didn’t like hearing people blame this or that for their unhappy lives. While I still think you should do what you can to improve your situation, I have more understanding that it isn’t always so quick and easy, or even an option.
That’s okay, too.
We can assess what’s possible, what’s within our means right now, and if the options don’t feel right, then perhaps we set aside plans and concentrate on other areas of our lives for the time being. It’s up to us to choose wisely, while considering where we are, but there is certainly room for both.
Just take care of yourself as best you can, with the tools and knowledge you have now.
I have long been interested in personal development as a concept and as a practice for my own self-betterment. Yet, it wasn’t until recently how much I really enjoyed seeing other people’s growth and realizations about themselves in film. There’s something really amazing to me when I can watch a character’s journey and self-development as it is captured on film–particularly in a coming-of-age film!
Most people don’t experience dramatic changes all of a sudden but film allows you to follow a character over a period of time as they face a challenge, learn through an experience, or get involved in something new which completely shifts the way they are as a person. That beautiful growth, I feel, is so wonderfully captured in coming-of-age films in ways unrivaled by other genres of film.
As a quick sidenote: I am frequently using the word “film” here as opposed to movies, largely because I believe films to be more representative of an artwork made with intention (that may or may not be entertaining). Movies, on the other hand, strive for entertainment but may not always be accompanied by the artistic lens and intentional approach that films are keen on. I won’t ramble on about this but I think Robert Hardy describes it well here if you’re curious about the difference between films and movies.
To get back on point, I have always been drawn toward coming-of-age films are realized only recently that they often depict characters in struggles of self-acceptance, insecurities,friendships and relationships, exploring independence and cultivating valuesbetter representative of who they are now. Something I like to say is that these are movies about life.
So, if you, too, enjoy coming-of-age movies or if you’re curious to explore them, then keep reading.
Coming-of-Age Films You Should See
The Art of Getting By
What’s amazing about this film, besides the New York City setting, is the ease of which the main character goes about his life. George has his own schema based on what he knows and, as he is about to graduate high school, he’s been sliding by without really trying. It’s not until he meets Sally that he gets exposed to ideas, situations, and complications of the real world outside of his own.
On the surface, this story follows Elio as he blossoms into his own sensuality and sexual awakening upon meeting the older Oliver, a grad student staying with his family in Italy. In some ways, the romance between Elio and Oliver is a bit predatory but the genuineness of being young and falling in love is also beautifully shown here.
The Spectacular Now
Life seems to be all rainbows for the main character, Sutter, who has no thought about the future and only about living in the moment. It isn’t until he meets Aimee, who is different from the girls he’s known before, that his unpierceable veil of having it all together quickly crumbles. It definitely isn’t the healthiest portrayal of a relationship but there’s also room for a variety of relationships in coming-of-age films.
It’s Kind of a Funny Story
A suicidal teen checks himself into a psych ward and meets a few wacky but entirely normal friends. Through the characters, the story depicts how everyone has their own thing going on but rather than feel messed up because of the way he feels, his challenge is to come to acceptance and understanding of his own, and everyone else’s, unique quirks and stories.
Laggies
When Megan is faced with a proposal from her boyfriend, she runs away unsure of how to handle the situation. She befriends the much younger Annika and who Megan easily connects with because of her own adolescent tendencies. Megan is so used to living like a child without responsibility but, through Annika, she learns to step into her age and herself.
Like many of the films on this list, The Perks of Being a Wallflower is based on a book however, I much prefer the film adaptation of this one. While the book reads like a series of letters, the film catalogs Charlie’s reemergence into friendships, love, and even himself so vividly. Despite the trauma of his childhood, Charlie discovers who he is and his infinite value with the help of two good friends which is what makes this 90s era film eternally relatable.
Paper Towns
Another book that’s much better as a film adaptation, in my opinion. Paper Towns the book felt like a story where nothing really happens but the film highlights friendship in a beautiful way. A group of teens soon to graduate from high school get together in search of their friend Margo who has suddenly disappeared. What they thought they’d find and what they actually do find are each their own.
The Age of Seventeen
Nadine feels like her life is thrown upside-down when her best friend begins dating her older brother. While the betrayal stings, Nadine struggles to find ways to open up to the people around her. She seeks validation from adults and boys in the hopes of feeling like she is important too. The Age of Seventeen is a depiction of learning to use your words and give yourself what you crave instead of seeking ways to fill a void.
“Ladybird” feels beyond her high school life and helicopter parents and strives to live the life she dreams of. She all too quickly abandons her best friend and her true interests to pursue the grown up life she thinks she should have. Through the avant-garde main character, we see that you need not look outside yourself for who you are.
St. Elmo’s Fire
Different from most of the films on this list, St. Elmo’s Fire is coming-of-age film showcasing life right after college (instead of high school) for a group of friends as they navigate romantic relationships, beginning careers, and their sense of self, and the bond of friendship now as adults.
The Graduate
Easily the oldest one on this list, the classic film depicts the in-between time right after college when young adults consider what’s ahead. The track is often laid out for them: go to school, get a job, and get married. If that is what’s pushed on everyone, it brings into question what is actually going to make you happy.
Told through the eyes of a teenage journalist and music fan, William is on assignment from Rolling Stone magazine to cover an up-and-coming band’s tour. On the road, he is exposed to the dynamics between bandmates and their fans, where the line is between being a journalist and taking part in what’s happening around him as a human and friend, and the overall complexities of relationships.
Notable Mentions
Holes
I saw Holes repeatedly when I was younger and it isn’t until watching it with adult eyes that I noticed the troubled cases that led the characters to arrive together. The story touches on the value of friendship, the impact of violence and history, and the detrimental way that one moment can change everything.
Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
Is there a truer depiction of friendship than four best friends who use letters and a pair of jeans to keep them connected over the course of a summer? Each of the friends has their own unique adventure and story about growth, experiences, and love.
If I Stay
When a talented young violinist gets into a car accident with her family, she stands precariously between life and death as she reconsiders the life she has been living and if it is worthwhile to carry on. While I thoroughly enjoyed the book more, the film portrays the way family and friends can create such a supportive system to allow the young main character to trust herself and what she wants.
The thing that stands out about Say Anything is the maturity and pure relationship between the main characters. While it’s a rom-com by genre, it captures two teenagers right out of high school with their own established goals and self-identity. They think they have it all together, and for a moment they do, but each of them bring out areas and qualities in each other’s lives in a way some adult relationships in film may never even show.
The Breakfast Club
It might seem overplayed when millennial culture revisited The Breakfast Club but this movie is pretty quintessential high school. Teens from different cliques all connect through one Saturday detention at school. It definitely illuminates how, no matter their social circle, everyone has their own struggles and insecurities.
Pretty in Pink
As a teenager, this was my personal favorite 80s movie so it deserves a place on this list. Andie is a poor girl, not part of the in-crowd in high school, which is all she craves. Her best friend sees her for who she is despite her striving to be more and fit in with the cool crowd. Financial privilege, popularity, and impactful relationships are what make this a stand out film.
You can find the coming-of-age trope in many films of olden times and now. Everything from The Outsiders to Scott Pilgrim vs. The World alludes to the issues teens and young adults face while growing up. It’s a fascinating and relatable time, however it shows up in film, so it never gets old for me.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this list of my favorite coming-of-age films! Do you see the personal development and self-growth aspects that I’m fond of? What are your favorite coming-of-age films? Do share in the comments!
Xo Melanie
P.S. Check out my other favorite movie list inspired by the Fall Feels here.
As one year ends and another one slides open, I want to part ways on a note of appreciation. So even as my mind can’t help but think of where else I could be, I’d like to share my 202 Reflections with you all. Don’t get me wrong: I’m not wishing for another life or feeling regrets about the one I have lived thus far. I simply feel the start of the New Year aligning with the start of a new beginning for me, as well. I hate to find parallels with the cliché of the whole new year, new me mantra, but it’s not all that far off. I feel like Melanie 2.0!
It feels like I have done so much in this past year alone, but a lot of what happened this year was connected to healing parts of myself from younger years. I’ve done everything from restarting hobbies to unpacking beliefs to trying to simply make things feel safe again. I have met myself at the brink of hell and discovered peace. That’s not to say that I have evolved into a unique state of emotional neutrality where I don’t feel things at all. On the contrary, I have faced some dark and uncomfortable parts of myself and gave myself grace and love so that I could work through it. Over and over, and over again.
So when I say that I’ve dealt with my personal hell and discovered peace, it just means that I have fallen flat on my face enough times that I know I can pick myself back up again–and that’s a pretty cool feeling.
At the end of the day all you really have is you, after all.
You’ve got to love yourself more than anything because you can’t just wait around for someone else to say they love you. You’ve got to want to be better for yourself because that’s the only way you can change your circumstances. You’ve got to be your own advocate because no one else is living this life for you. When you start doing that inside work of putting yourself first, especially after a long time of silencing your heart, that’s when you’ll see the outside world begins to change, too.
If 2020 was about realizing how I no longer needed to keep myself small, what’s next, I can only imagine, is more growth, more expansion, and more freedom.
It is with that mindset that I want to go into 2021. I want to have my tools in place and myself in check, and my game face on!
Moving beyond the “old wiring”
To clarify on what I said at the beginning about how I can’t help but think of where else I could be, it’s like there’s this little voice in the back of my mind that says, “You’ve wasted time and there’s no point in trying anymore”. It is fear talking. It is old wiring and circuitry in my brain that is trying to make a comeback as it senses I’m about to change. Our minds and bodies aren’t programmed to like change (it’s often uncomfortable!) but we can reprogram how we think. That essentially comes down to questioning beliefs and re-learning behaviors which is what I teach in Self-Worth Coaching.
And hey, if this all sounds new and foreign to you, then that’s okay. Maybe this will be something you can explore this year! If not, that’s cool too. We are all at a different place in our unique paths of life and each of those places is right where we are meant to be for now.
I am also at a place where I can recognize when fear speaks to me and I can speak back louder.
I can say: yes, it is true that I have spent a lot of time exploring my interests and diving down rabbit holes that led nowhere, but did they really lead nowhere if I am now here? The fear wants to say that I should have my life together and I should be stable or have my career, relationships, passions, health, or insert whatever thing here figured out.
I share this not because I want to dwell on things that I’ve done in the past that no longer have a place in my life, but because I know that we have all done that at some point or another. It’s called living. It’s called being a human: to try things, make mistakes, and grow.
So I have made the most of the moments I’ve had these past 365 days. Many times taking two steps forward and three steps back; yet persisting anyway. I don’t think I’ve had a particularly interesting year if you are looking for tangible or material markers of success, such as attending big events or buying luxury items. However I don’t rate the success of my life based only on tangible things–especially when so much of what has been beautiful this year is intangible.
It’s hard to put into words everything that I have felt this year, but you can certainly read some of my previous blog posts to get some insight on that, like:
I said “I love you” for the first time in a long time
I came up with a recipe for carob chocolate
I created my own practice for connecting with my highest self
I set my own definitions of spirituality
I was on a podcast besides my own
I danced for fun
I prioritized daily stretching exercises
I found some helpful TMJ healing tools
I rediscovered my favorite crystal
I stopped apologizing when I didn’t mean it
And so much more….
Appreciation
Need I go on? I truly could go on. I don’t feel that this list even puts a dent in all that I have experienced. So, as you read my 2020 reflections and think of your year, I hope you can also think about the little ways that you’ve learned and grown. I guarantee you, your list is probably a lot more exciting than mine but you’ve got to be the one to have gratitude for what’s happened: the good and the bad and everything in between.
Have gratitude not because you liked going through bad, tough, or uncomfortable times (who does?) but because you had an experience! It’s the little things that make up the big things and when we give thanks for even the littlest things, it makes it that much more special when we take note of the bigger things.
2021 Intentions
I could write a whole post on my 2021 intentions. I might still do that but I will share one intention here, as this is a post welcoming in 2021! There has been much growth within me and I just want to see more of that in the next year. There were times this past summer where I just really wanted to be me in 5 years or me in 20 years. I wanted to be further along than I am now. I wanted to jump ahead to that place where I had life more figured out.
I don’t want to ignore the present moment though because this is where the future begins. The future is created in the now. It might be a bit of a paradox to say that I want to see growth in myself because naturally I am going to keep growing, but I also want to keep taking up space. I’ve put in distinct efforts to break out of the boxes I had placed myself in and felt so comfortable with this year. I don’t need to do that anymore.
So here’s to looking forward to a year of more growth and continuing to take up space as my authentic self.
This year hasn’t been a total bust! I know the internet has been “cancelling 2020” since March but I want to share some things that have made this year great–a best of 2020 list! I’ve taken much of this stay-at-home this time to find what brings me happiness. A lot of that has me turning to simple things like going outside or incorporating a slower pace to my days. Things like leisure and peace were hard for me to come by but since creating that, I’ve been more apt to enjoy everything in a fuller way than I thought possible.
So, today I’d like to highlight some things that have made my 2020 a little better. Everything is broken into categories that span from podcasts to movies to products I’ve loved and much more!
Mel Makes It Happen Best of 2020 List
PODCASTS
Hormone Harmony: The End of PMS, Cramps, Infertility, and Cycle Syncing with Alissa Vitti
This is the best ever way I’ve heard fertility and female-centric information delivered with relevance to male and female listeners. Luke Story’s Life Stylist Podcast delivers hard facts and approachable information so everyone can learn something here!
How This Virus is Happening FOR Us, Not TO Us + The Connection Between Virus & Lyme
When the pandemic first started, I heard this episode from The Balanced Blonde // Soul On Fire podcast and it resonated immediately. If you still struggle to understand why we are experiencing everything coronavirus/pandemic-related then this episode offers a different perspective.
Joy. Want More? Listen Now! With Shannon Kaiser
While actually from late 2019, I listened to this episode this year. The Party in My Plants Podcast is thoroughly entertaining and information-filled and this episode was one that stood out to me. It is full of super amazing tips on how to live authentically, happily, and from a place of alignment with your wants and goals.
TMJ, Jaw Pain, Substance P: The Missing Link in Dentistry with Dr. Dwight Jennings
I know I’m not the only one who suffers from TMJ issues and jaw pain. I recently heard an episode of Luke Story’s Life Stylist Podcast with a dentist who specializes in addressing the inflammatory component that headaches, TMJ symptoms, forward head posture, tinnitus, earaches, and increased susceptibility to Lyme and other viruses. If any of these apply to you, then you’ve got to check out the episode!!
Cancel Culture, Empathy, Understanding, and Forgiveness with Creative Activist Dom Roberts
One of the best episodes I heard during the Black Lives Matter Movement during the summer, Dom Roberts brings the material to an approachable place on The Skinny Confidential Him and Her Show.
The Quarter Life Crisis
Fellow Millennials, you’re probably at this place or have experienced what feels like an early mid-life crisis. Why does this happen? The Goop Podcast breaks it down.
Make It Happen Podcast S2 E2
Living A Bigger, Fuller Life Beyond Diet Culture with Mélanie Le Blanc Sturgeon
Yes, I’m including one of my Make It Happen Podcast episodes as a favorite from 2020! This conversation changed so much for me. We are all bombarded with diet culture in our society and this episode strips away the food rules and explains the freedom of coming back to our version of true health.
MOVIES / SHOWS
Chasing Happiness (Amazon)
I know I wasn’t the only one who was crushed to hear the Jonas Brothers broke up back in 2013. This documentary was SO enlightening as to the many elements at play leading up to that point and how they’ve reconnected. They are brothers first and that heart is so well-captured in this film.
The 2019 remake of the original story puts a new spin on the characters and adds a modern freshness to Laurie and Jo, played by Timothee Chalamet and Saoirse Ronan.
Same title? Yes, I know! But this mini series was so good and it is probably a better place to start if you’re new to the Little Women story as it is the most comprehensive adaptation. The pacing of this version feels heartwarmingly true to the novel.
This rendition of the classic story really dives into the details of the characters’ lives, their years-long hardships, and the themes of love and redemption in depth. I was crying alongside the characters and felt so attached after finishing the 6 episode mini series. I say that’s a sign of a well-made show.
A super-approachable dive into the environmental issues affecting countries around the world and how they’re working to resolve them through sustainability. It divides screen time between chats with grassroots organizations and locals and also provides an Anthony Bourdain-esque look at some unique entertainment spots around the city.
13 Reasons Why (Netflix)
Season 4 wrapped up the end of the gripping teen series based off of the book 13 Reasons Why. I have loved seeing the emotional development of the characters and a depiction of how processing trauma looks different for everyone. Many times shows depict characters playing out the same mistakes over and over again but I think the writing on this show is spectacular and makes it worth seeing if you haven’t yet!
Emily in Paris (Netflix)
Fresh, funny, and fabulous is the best way I can describe this show. I’m here for anything Lily Collins stars in and she shines vibrantly with her unique style and flair as a marketing expert hired to bring an American perspective to a Parisian company.
Never Have I Ever (Netflix)
While I’m not a Hindi teen, I think this show tugs at those memories from teenage years enough to make the show new and different but also majorly funny and relatable! It’s been my favorite comedy that I’ve seen in a long time!
YOUTUBE CHANNELS
Qigong with Ksney
I got introduced to qigong this year and it’s also been a big help with balancing my energy levels. It’s like the chinese form of yoga but much gentler and approachable for most any body!
Maddie creates a variety of workout videos on YouTube from strength training to ballet to low impact and body part-specific workouts. I love her dance workouts! They’ve saved me from being bored at home during 2019!
I particularly love her lymphatic drainage massage videos! Lymph drainage helps with depuffing and skin toning and watching a tutorial is perfect guidance for newbies like me!
Pitched as chats about creating comfort in our minds, bodies, and souls, Kayln Nicholson introduces ideas we may not have heard of in the realm of health, wellness, and spirituality in a thorough and fascinating way.
I don’t know about you but I’ve been ordering more groceries online the past several months. I started using instacart and I’m hooked on how efficient it is. I like that you can order from several stores all at once and get your items delivered on the same day or on the scheduled day of your choosing. Try it here or use my code to get free delivery on your first order: MMORENO8CBE16E.
Mercari
It’s easy to be a consumer these days and not think about what happens to items after they are purchased, but so much of what we buy can be reused! Mercari is a place to sell and buy new and/or used items to anyone throughout the United States. It works similarly to eBay but there’s a lot more seller and buyer protection here–plus, listings are easier to navigate. I’ve bought everything from workout gear to a set of books and more! Sign up with my link and get $10 to spend on your first purchase.
Depop
While mostly a place for reselling new and used clothes, Depop gives a life to secondhand items that would otherwise end up overflowing thrift stores or landfills. I love being able to shop for unique, vintage, or specific-style pieces that are not available where I live. Whether you’re buying or selling, you’re sure to find something that meets your taste on Depop.
Rakuten
Shopping online more than ever before? Yeah, me too. Rakuten offers frequent deals at a variety of merchants online and in-store. You can get cash back from shopping at places you’re already going to shop at. Whether I’m grabbing Target essentials or organizing a PetCo order (for Millie), there’s most always a chance to earn cash back. Rates begin at 1% of your purchase and at times can be as high as 15% of your order. The money then gets deposited into your PayPal account. I kind of prefer the desktop browser plug-in but you can also use Rakuten on a mobile device with their app. Sign up with my link and get a $10 reward bonus.
Honey
Again, if you’re ever online shopping you’ve seen that little box on the checkout page that allows you to add a promo code. Honey basically saves you time and scopes out deals and codes so you don’t have to. Consider it your automatic coupon assistant! Try it out here.
Every ted talk is a good one. I mean, the individuals were asked to be speakers for a reason, right? However, here are some that I saw this year which stood out to me.
I get super interested in people to the point where I’ll want to read their books, listen to their podcasts, watch their interviews, and just soak in all of their radiance. I’m not always quite so enamored by people but there have been a few that I’ve found to be expansive for me as a person this year.
Timothée Chalamet
After I saw Little Women I had a moment where I was doing just as I said above and diving deep into his previous interviews and revisiting his small array of films. I think what I find most inspiring about him as a person is his passion for the craft of acting. He respects those who have come before him and seeks learning and self-betterment. From his interviews, he seems quite humble about his own talents and keeps his ego in check so as to not take any success that he has received for granted. That sort of approach doesn’t resonate with everyone but I enjoy seeing the steadfast dedication he has as an actor and I’ve been dancing with how I can be more invested in the value of the work I am doing than how others perceive me.
photo from Netflix
Hasan Minhaj
I feel like the sky is the coolest person on the planet but she doesn’t attempt to know it all. His Netflix series, Patriot Act (definitely a favorite, too!!!) brought light to many issues affecting our political atmosphere. Many times these were issues not just affecting the United States but the world as a whole. It’s so easy now with the internet to provide a hot take that is under researched and more opinion than fact. Hasan spends time trying to gather the facts and he has a way of thoroughly presenting those to a lay audience (which is most people, to be honest) with relatability through humor.
My takeaway inspiration has to do with being willing to learn and investigate where no one else is willing to do that “hard work” because you know there is value in it. So, once you know what’s important, you convey that to an audience that probably hasn’t done the research themselves but now has a foundation of information that they can use to make better decisions for themselves and their communities.
Here’s a super cool video where he shares how he got to where he is and offers advice on figuring out your unique talents:
I’m a big fan of all things relationships and love hearing about ways to create more real and fulfilling relationships. His podcast is full of those juicy, woke nuggets and you can also catch him on Instagram @createthelove. I’ve been inspired by what he shares because it’s very much rooted in doing the work on yourself so that you can go into relationships with your authentic wants and things to offer the relationship.
FOOD
Vegan Buckwheat Pumpkin Pancakes Recipe
I discovered the magical abilities of buckwheat flour this year, which is entirely gluten-free, and it resembles traditional flour nicely in baked goods. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve remade these pumpkin pancakes but they’re definitely a favorite from this year!
I started eating white potatoes more regularly this year. It’s been interesting to find ways to eat them that aren’t covered in butter and cheese (things I don’t eat and things that don’t make me feel good). I usually slice and soak my potatoes in water for a few hours before rinsing them and cooking. The spice blend and oven roasted nature of this fries recipe in particular is so tasty for me!
Store-bought veggie burgers are kind of a treat item for me. I like to have them on hand for quick meals but these don’t taste boring to me. The texture inside is soft but the outside is nicely firm, especially when cooked on a cast-iron skillet. I like serving them with sautéed carrots and cabbage or over a big salad with hummus. I get Dr. Praeger’s burgers at Vons but there’s a store locator on their website for other places you can find them.
I’ve tried taking CBD for anxiety and stress but that doesn’t hold a torch to this cinnamon tea! I love tea and I feel significantly calmer after drinking a cup. I’m hooked!
I don’t know how many times I made this recipe but it doesn’t even matter. These bars have been the best for an easy and filling breakfast. It might seem “wild” to use tahini in baked goods but I assure you these are delicious. Sometimes I’ll throw blueberries in instead of chocolate chips but they always come out delicious.
I talk about this product in my TMJ tips and tools post. It’s a completely invasive oil that helps bring relaxation to the jaw muscles that I’ve found to be quite helpful!
The bonus calming blend of adaptogenic herbs makes this probiotic a standout compared to the probiotics occupying shelves everywhere. Plus with it being organic, it has my stamp of approval!
Someone recommended this pillow to me because I’ve had long-standing issues with neck pain. I can say that very quickly upon switching to this pillow, my neck pain is pretty much all gone! I am a back sleeper with a tendency to turn to the side and this pillow provides the perfect support for me. I do also like that Cushion Lab uses certified CertiPUR memory foam and organic cotton pillowcase coverings. I recommend it if the above sounds like you!
I’ve opted for a minimal or no make up look for the majority of this year but this concealer is powerful. A little bit under my eyes makes me look wide awake! I’m also happy to mention this one because it is a vegan-friendly, cruelty-free, and this concealer comes in a wide array of shades!
Topical CBD is usually available as a balm or salve which is okay…but I like this non-greasy formula! It’s very strong so it’s best to apply and wait a few minutes before going wild with the roll-on. It’s deep penetrating formula is meant for pain relief so you can feel the effects within minutes.
Okay, fellow females, if you aren’t using a menstrual cup then you need to try it! I was tired of throwing so much plastic and material into the wastebasket each time I was on my period. Not to mention the upkeep of having to buy pads or tampons. The cup took some figuring out at first (accidentally pinching myself a couple of times, too) but if I could figure it out, I’m confident you can, too! I feel so much cleaner on my period with my cup and that makes a big difference in the way I feel about myself on my period, too.
I’ve been using the Raw Sugar mango + coconut lip balm for a while now but this year I tried the lemon sugar version just for fun and WOW, I’m in love. It’s not overly lemony or overly scented in any way at all. Subtle, sweet, and nicely moisturizing. I like all the Raw Sugar balms but this one is my new go-to. I used to get it at Target but the Lemon Sugar variety can be a little hard to find so I’ll link to it on Amazon. However, check your local CVS or drug store and you could probably find it for less there.
There’s been so much that I’ve learned and enjoyed this year that cannot be linked to and, yet, is still important.
Nature
It has been the one thing that has helped me feel a sense of grounding through the heaviness and out of control state that the world has been in. Nature isn’t a trend or a hobby, it is a necessary part of my health and well-being. Spending even just a few minutes outside on a daily basis makes a difference for me!
Millie the Dutch rabbit
Millie
My little fair-bunny-turned-house-rabbit has been my side kick through it all this year. She’s a high-maintenance little character at times but she’s helped me learn to love again and find softness in myself, as well as just smile more! That is priceless.
Twice-a-day meditation
I originally learned to meditate through a program called Ziva Meditation but I’ve taken what I learned and made it my own. It advocates for 2 daily meditations, each 15 minutes in length. The time aspect was driving me nuts so I don’t abide by a strict amount of time now. Often 20 minutes feels like a good amount for me in the morning, but I often like to sit for longer in the afternoons. I feel much more clear, stable, and revived after meditating. It’s also my time for introspection and connecting with my inner self. A lot happens during these meditations and the benefits make the time allocation worth it for me.
Thanks for reading my Best of 2020 wrap-up post! There truly is a lot that I appreciate and have grown to love this year. Anyone who knows me knows I’m also not a fan of picking favorites so I feel pretty proud of myself for summing up the year with some standout things, as shown on this list. I hope I’ve given you some things that you’d like to try for yourself or simply entertain you for a little bit.
xoxo,
Melanie
Like what you see? Pin it!
If you’d like to share, what’s on your best of 2020 list? You know I’d love to hear!
Wishing you a 2021 filled with joy and much to love!
I tend to go really hard on things. I don’t know if this is a ME thing, a being-in-your-20s thing, a Manifesting Generator (#humandesign) thing, or maybe it’s just a human thing.
If I’m interested in something, there’s no easing in and I just want to dedicate ALL of my energy to this thing. I’m not sure if I’m interested just for the moment, perhaps because there’s something I’m meant to learn or explore, or if this will become a long-term investment for me.
Setting aside the bogus rules, naysayers, and societally-imposed stigmas about jumping around in interests, there really is no problem with being this way.
I often say something is only a problem when you think it is.
That in and of itself takes a lot of figuring out (which is a conversation for a whole ‘nother day) but to put it simply: we have full autonomy.
Someone else can attempt to force their beliefs on you, but only you can internalize them. Others can live their life a certain way, but you don’t have to follow along. Just because you haven’t seen what you imagine in existence, or having been done before, that doesn’t make it impossible.
So, it’s taken me years of bashing myself for not being able to stick with one thing and coming to a place of acceptance with my wide array of interests, and then floundering again. Yet, I feel more solid now after having gone through enough experiences with myself where I’ve seen how I am and I began to understand my patterns.
I have waves of energy that encourage me to learn, build, meditate, take action, and so much more. I’m not meant to stay in one stage processing information or only doing. Just like the cycles of nature, remaining in one stage is simply not sustainable.
It feels sort of like that for my interests. Sometimes I want to revisit one and other times I want to move on to something new.
There are some interests I pursue personally and spend a lot of time with only to one day feel like I’ve had enough. When I say I tend to go hard with something that means, I pick up a book today on crystals and suddenly I’ll get the itch to learn more and tomorrow think about becoming a crystal healer, or something like that. This is the way my brain works.
And you might be thinking: well, it’s not a bad thing to get excited about something! We all get these little phases of being interested in things. This is true.
What I’ve learned to be careful with is not trying to turn my interest into a career.
As in: enjoy the stage of being interested in something and not jump ahead by trying to monetize it or make it MY THING before I understand how invested I am in my current interest.
Let me describe this in another way.
I low-key have thought about becoming a registered dietitian, opening a jewelry business, studying reiki, teaching meditation, becoming a monk, getting vocal lessons to become a singer, going into modeling, and so much more! These are all things you probably had no idea about because they never made it to the surface. If I had been interested in making necklaces or whatever just a little bit longer, I probably would’ve talked about it.
This isn’t to say you can’t turn an interest into a career because you certainly can! You can do whatever you want. I kind of like to let things brew underneath the surface for a while to make sure that I’m really into something before making declarations to the world, but that’s just me. At the same time, I’ve made the big declarations after much contemplation before and that didn’t keep me from changing my path.
All of this to say, maybe this is the way it is.
Ooh, so wise, right?
This is the way it is meaning… I am full of passion and a growing list of interests and I get something out of everything that I pursue. I feel that the excitement I have over these different pursuits generates this super glowing energy in me that makes others feel excited, too.
Now, I can’t control what others think or do but I’ve been told by others that they felt more confident to share something they’re into after seeing me do that (whoa!!!). This isn’t so much of a reason as for why I behave the way I do so much as it is just a possible consequence of me being myself.
I believe that when we are being ourselves, as wild, cooky, nonsensical, or ridiculous as we may feel, it encourages others to be themselves, too.
So, there isn’t any ONE PATH for me (as I’ve repeated to myself over and over again) but I feel excited each time I come home to this feeling I have right now as I write this.
It’s a feeling of being everything.
Of knowing:
I am everything.
We are everything.
There is no limit.
No limit to our power.
No limit to our voice.
No limit to our spirit.
I’ve been peacefully disconnecting with things that I’ve held tightly for so long and it’s made room for me to find that new, NEW.
This is a really miraculous and slightly cliff-hangery type of moment because I’m figuring stuff out. At the same time, I’m not asking myself: what am I going to do next? because I’ve been here before.
I’ve been in this place, and I trust that exploring what feels true to my heart will bring me everything I’ve dreamed of and even more that I never knew I wanted.
These past few weeks have been filled with many revelations. I feel like a snake shedding its skin over and over again. A constant unraveling of my identity and rules I’ve lived by. It’s very confusing; many times I’m just sitting with a sense of uncertainty for where I stand. Perhaps a bit of a mourning for deceased aspects of me, or projects I held dearly and no longer want to do.
Yet, I lean into the freedom this offers. Shedding that which no longer serves me has allowed me to step into this new role of being a Self-Worth Coach in an area I’m most passionate about. It has allowed me to spend time on myself with less guilt than ever before. I’ve also been able to see things, the beautiful and the messy, for what they are and find a comfortable respect for what is.
During this time of self-evolution I’ve found it challenging to put into words all that I’m feeling because it seems like life is moving fast. I’m not forcing, I’m not resisting, it just is. Given that, I’ve been reconnecting with my heart and finding pieces of inspiration all over the place so I wanted to share with you a few people who have been expanding for me.
People I’ve Been Inspired By Lately
Something that has deeply inspired me over the past few months is studying other artists’ processes. I get so excited to learn how people do things and how they think. Artists, especially–writers, musicians, singers, digital media, videographers, and so on–all have their own unique approaches to creating their art or getting their self in the zone.
I’ve always held a fondness, a connection if you will, with film actors. That led me to reading the GQ magazine spread on Timothée Chalamet for their November issue. If you aren’t familiar with Timothée Chalamet (are you living under a rock? Just kidding.), he’s a budding actor most known on the indie scene for Call Me By Your Name. He’s made several films since then but what I find most attractive is his methodology for acting, his humility, and constant refinement of his art. So, I’ve been devouring his interviews, written and video format, zestfully.
Part of what attracts me, I think, is his fluidity as an actor. Despite being so young, he embodies a deep sense of maturity and respect for variances, representation, and diversity in a way I haven’t seen before. If you want to see some of his films, I recommend seeing him in Little Women or Beautiful Boy.
KOZE by Kalyn Nicholson
I’m a big fan of Kalyn Nicholson on YouTube but her KOZE channel is ultra cool. Everything she shares about spirituality, finding direction, resilience and more resonate with me like if we were cut from the same cloth. Not long ago she made a video on the topic of non-attachment and it was exactly what I needed to hear. I think the message helped me put into perspective a lot of the conflict I’ve had in my own brain. Maybe it will help you out, too.
Her zodiac sign is actually Pisces (yeah, when I go deep on someone, I go deep) so that might be why I resonate with her words and aesthetic so much. However, I think she speaks to issues and ideas that a lot of 20-somethings are concerned about. Her content is very introspective and philosophizing but equally actionable and progressive.
To take a page from more seasoned professionals in media, there are no more iconic and revolutionary musicians than Paul McCartney and Taylor Swift. I’m combining the two because Rolling Stone had Taylor and Paul together for a Musicians on Musicians special and it was extraordinary! You get the loveliest peek into how each of them song-write and compose music (aka their artistic process).
I’ve been a fan of Taylor’s since the beginning but what’s most fascinating about her is the way her music stands for an era of (her) life and she is able to paint the most glorious imagery with her words and art. Be it through heartbreak or catchy tunes, she’s powerful.
As well, I think Paul McCartney has a secret sauce for living from his heart and being able to touch so many people. He shares some of this in the article (again, definitely give it a read) along with so many quaint stories. It was equally fanciful to see how much each of them admire the other and had so much curiosity for learning the other’s approach, musically and toward life.
Alright, that’s it. This has been like a favorites/diary entry type of post that I used to write all the time! I love talking about what I’m into and what’s on my mind and this format allows me to do both! What do you think? Want to see more posts like these on the blog?!
We’ll see. You never know what’s gonna pop up around here. But one thing I know: it’s always going to come from the heart.
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