We as people tend to look at actions as something with a definitive conclusion. Like, the way you can say you walked to the park. Your action was walking and you got to the park. End of action, end of story. Yet, there are some actions that happen as more of a process. Healing is more of a process.
Today’s post is about the expectations placed around the process of healing. It isn’t as straightforward as we may want it to be and I’m diving into some of the reasons I’ve found we may be resistant “to heal”. The photo above is a poem I wrote during a thick part of my healing process. Throughout this post, I’ve also included some of my favorite quotations on the subject which I found on my home space, Instagram. If you like this post, definitely don’t hesitate to drop a comment or share this post with a friend!
Last year, I went through some emotionally trying times and I was in a major state of constant ups and downs. In my pit of depression, I’d search for glimmers of light to push me to move forward. It might have been a creative idea or a small motivational phrase but it would be enough incentive for me to pick myself up. I’d start to feel okay and fathom the possibility that: hey, maybe I’m all better now! Then, when I least expected it, the most minute thing would remind me of the hurt or sadness I experienced and I’d feel like Alice falling down the rabbit hole all over again.
There are many facets of emotion to work through and sometimes the best we can aim for is feeling OKAY.
Maybe for some people, they only need to go through a down and up experience once and then “they are healed” or they’ve learned their lesson. For others, it can take a little bit longer. This could be dependent on how much you internalize the obstacle you’re trying to work through. The more connected you feel to a problem the more it really becomes yourproblem. This can certainly be a great cause for change if there is action you can take to better the situation.
Yet, what happens when the experience you feel so connected to is in the past? When there isn’t any current action you can take to improve the experience? You essentially have to make a choice on whether you want to stay stuck in the past or take a risk on the unknown of the future.
In healing, the priority is to uncover the root issue so that we can move forward with success.
When you associate so closely to experiences that are in the past that is where you will stay. The days will certainly go on and time will keep moving forward but everything you are holding onto will keep you from enjoying the present. Consequently, if you remain stuck in the past, you won’t ever truly work through the experience that has plagued you.
Most problems that exist are only problems because we choose to see them that way.
You may run into the same fundamental issue of an obstacle in different forms—that can be: situations, figurative roadblocks, people, or anything. The challenging part is dealing with the real, root issue that is causing distress. While it may seem easier to sweep emotions under the rug, you’re choosing to limit your spectrum for happiness. If we view something as a problem but never seek to understand it, the problem still exists inside of us and it will keep manifesting in the physical world until we address it. To put it plainly, emotions need proper acknowledgement or else we won’t ever “heal”. That is a fact.
I’d like to say healing is a 3 step process of: 1) Recognize what limiting beliefs you hold, 2) Acknowledge your problem, 3) The problem is gone! However, healing does not work like that. I’ll restrain from saying healing takes time (though I suppose I did still say it) and argue the more actionable step in healing is deciding when you’ve had enough and can be at peace with the state of the situation, whatever that may be.
The down and ups that I talked about earlier happened more times than I can count just pertaining to one situation. I told myself that I wanted to overcome the experience although I mostly just wanted to overcome the pain, discomfort, and sadness parts. Unknowingly at the time, I wanted to maintain the association I had with my experience because I was optimistic and hoped for things to turn around. Yet, I had reached the end of the road long ago and just didn’t want to believe that was true.
One of my favorite phrases is: healing isn’t linear. There’s no ONE WAY to heal. It will look different for everyone and it will look different for each hardship you face.
Healing can involve:
Holding onto the experience to define you and creating new labels for yourself
Pandering between wanting to control a situation and letting go
Feeling like the best is behind you and opening up to the possibility that better things are ahead
Connecting with your emotional experience and wanting to separate from it
Sinking into the deep hole that is your pain and using it as a motivator to climb out
Wishfully looking at your past experience and also towards the future
It is hard to say when healing really is complete.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news but, even after you work through one hardship, there will be more to come. In Mark Manson’s The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck, he makes an interesting point that problems are always going to exist. Though, working through them helps us develop skills, gain perspective, and resilience. Consequently, we will be set up to get slightly better problems in the future and likely be more equipped to handle them!
I’ve gone through moments where I think I’ve truly worked through what I need to come to terms with and made my peace. Then, something new comes up and I find myself confused, frustrated, or in a random bout of sadness and tearing up. I accept all of these parts of me and that’s how I know that I’m healing. It’s a cycle, it’s an ebb and flow, and it’s a constant learning process.
I hope this post finds you when you can use it most. If you are going through the back and forth feelings as a result of hardship, I hope you know you are exactly where you need to be.
You know the feeling when you ate a little too much at dinner or maybe you mixed some food and drinks that you wish you didn’t? In that state of discomfort, I personally feel desperate for a little relief and, because of that, I have tried out many remedies to bring my tummy back into balance.
It wasn’t too long ago that I would carry tums in my purse and pop them almost daily to help with digestive distress. Tums are primarily supposed to be used for fighting excessive acid production which usually comes from eating hot and spicy foods. They serve to hinder stomach acid production but, at the same time, you are suppressing the acids that serve to DIGEST what you ate. So, it puts a wet blanket on the issue but the actual process of digestion will take longer.
While the easiest fix for alleviating excessive stomach acid production is to minimize acid reflux-causing foods in your diet, general digestive discomfort can be a bit more complex. For me, digestive distress comes along the lines of: an immense feeling of fullness, bloating, or just an unsettling feeling then keep reading. It isn’t as simple as going to the bathroom or burping to relieve oneself.
When I was feeling physically ill last year, I was trying all sorts of methods to help with my gut dysbiosis. The Balanced Blonde actually has a great post on the topic which you can read here but it was such an ongoing battle that I knew I needed extra help. I’ve had a small arsenal of essential oils but was not using them much until this point.
The essential oils that I like using are from a brand called Young Living. I’ve tried random brands from Vitamin Shoppe or the grocery store but there are a few reasons I keep going back to YL. 1) What I particularly like about YL essential oils is because of their sustainable methods for sourcing the ingredients for the oils and the quality testing that goes into each batch. 2) With that testing, they have formulated essential oils safe for internal consumption. Most essential oils are only for topical or aromatic use so I wouldn’t recommend ingesting any old brand you pick up at the store.
So, going back to this remedy of mine, I use a blend of massively potent and healing essential oils called Digize paired with straight up castor oil. In case you aren’t familiar with Digize, the blend contains: Tarragon, Ginger, Peppermint, Juniper, Fennel, Lemongrass, Anise, and Patchouli. Each of these ingredients is beneficial on its own—think: peppermint tea!—but when combined, they are a powerhouse for digestive support. Plus, the castor oil is not simply the vehicle for me to spread Digize on my tummy—it contains an array of benefits that research has linked to boosting the lymphatic system, inducing labor in pregnant women, and stimulating the digestive system!
Of course, do your own research and experimentation to see if castor oil and/or Digize could be right for you but now I’ll get into the HOW part of my remedy routine!
The best time for me to do my tummy balance remedy is at night after I have taken a shower. It is very soothing so this also helps to wind me down for the night. I recommend doing this in your bedroom or someplace you won’t be disturbed so as to enhance the peaceful experience!
My first step is dry brushing my entire body. I feel like this helps encourage circulation and detoxification—both being helpful when I’m trying to alleviate digestive discomfort. I’ll also rub any lotion I want on my body, while avoiding my stomach.
Next, I’ll lie down on my back. You can lay down a towel or blanket, if you’d like. Here is where I’ll be using my castor oil and Digize! I don’t measure it out but I pour about a half-tablespoon amount of castor oil into the palm of my hand and add a drop of Digize. Then, I simply smear the mixture onto my belly. The power is in the ingredients but there is also a strategy to massaging the stomach which can help speed up digestion.
Method: Using whichever hand you feel most comfortable with, start at the top of your stomach (about palm-width above your belly button). Press firmly, but not so much as to cause pain, into your stomach with your index and middle finger. Move your fingers towards your left side and then down and then up on your right side til you reach the center again. Basically, you’re moving your hands in a clockwise motion.
I usually keep this massage going for 3-5 minutes before adding my heating pad. For a long time I just did the massage and that works great! However, if you have access to a heating pad, I highly recommend using one. The heat works to activate the castor oil and help the ingredients penetrate your stomach. The warmth stimulates digestive recovery and, as I said earlier, this feels very soothing!
I’ve honestly fallen asleep with the heating pad on my stomach (temperature set to LOW) because it is that relaxing. I’ll wake up and turn it off soon after but if you find yourself in this situation you may want to set an alarm so that you won’t spend the entire night laying there with the heating pad. Seriously!
Alright, that is the end of my tummy balance remedy using castor oil and Digize. If you experience any sort of digestive distress, I hope you found this post helpful and give the routine a try!
During my recent Sugar Detox, I struggled with trying to banish my cravings. I whipped up some sugar-free snacks and stuffed my face with roasted sweet potatoes and bananas because they were free of “added-sugar”. I’m not even upset about the way I approached things because it led me to figuring out a really helpful tip that I now use EVERY TIME I EAT A MEAL.
Before I share the tip (impatient folks can scroll down) I want to clarify my approach on the sugar detox. I wanted to eliminate added-sugars because I sensed those were the major culprit for my wild and uncontrollable cravings. Sometimes I wouldn’t necessarily even be hungry for a sweet but all I needed to do was look at a skillet cookie and BAM! The entire thing might as well be in my stomach because I felt like my self-control was on vacation. Who else can relate?
I’ve since learned that self-control around food is primarily determined by the “baggage” we may be bringing to our plates. Think of it: we spend our days knocking out chores, running errands all over town, meeting with people, and oftentimes chowing down food on-the-go. How well do you think your mind recognizes the food you eat when you’re spooning overnight oats in between passing lanes? Plus, what about all of that erratic energy you’re bringing into your meal?
The field of nutrition is thought of as a body of food rules. However, I don’t believe in a world where food is only something we have to eat to survive. Food is meant to be enjoyed. Yet, for myself and probably many people, there is also a need for moderation. It is up to us as individuals to determine how much moderation to apply and where we want to strengthen or loosen our grips on that relationship with food.
As a matter of fact, the tip I’m about to share was something I picked up because I wanted to set boundaries and stop reaching for food when I wasn’t hungry. On the other hand, it can totally be used if you want to expand your food options and feel less restrictive.
The free and life-changing tip that I now practice for a healthier relationship with food is: GIVING THANKS.
In Western culture, we can be pretty self-indulgent and come to expect certain things in our day-to-day life so much so that the things that really matter get taken for granted. Every day we eat a meal, at least once but, probably a few times. Food is widely available and that almost reduces its perceived value because we think we can just get more later. That may be true accessibility-wise but I like to think about the process that made the food possible. The growing process, the farmers, the store I purchased the food, and the preparation involved.
Just try…next time, instead of jamming a forkful of food into your mouth the moment you lay eyes on your plate, try turning it into an experience. I knew a friend who would carefully hold something that she was about to eat and smell it. She’d legitimately spend a few seconds just smelling her food before eating it! That blew my mind! It was basically a full sensory experience. So, I like to take as much time as possible (without letting my food get cold) before eating to appreciate my food.
Here is what that usually looks like for me:
When possible, I prefer to take a seat at a table and in a space without noise and distractions. Then, I like to stare at my plate a little bit. I smile and think about the way I took my time to prepare my food—or, if someone else made it, then I think about how appreciative I am that they prepared this dish for me. I’ll give my dish a sniff and then place my hands together, and, with my eyes closed, just express thanks for whatever comes to mind. (Thanks can also be directed towards whomever or whatever you’d like: God, Jesus, the Earth, Mother Nature, the Universe, anything!)
Taking a moment to express a few words of gratitude helps me feel present and appreciate what I have. Any other stuff going on in my day or life is set aside, for this moment, so that I can eat in peace. Giving thanks helps me eat more slowly and, consequently, be more attuned to my body. In that state, I can make better decisions for myself and I am significantly less likely to reach for unnecessary second helpings, snacks, or my vice: sweets. 🙂
When I started implementing my life-changing practice, I felt like I finally understood Michael Pollan’s famous words about eating food, but not too much, and mostly plants.
It really isn’t complicated but giving thanks before a meal is almost a lost art. So, tell me, did you grow up giving thanks for meals? Do you currently have a gratitude practice related to food?
When all I could think about was food, I knew that was a tell-tale sign that I had a problem. As I’ve been learning about the importance of primary food in my Integrative Nutrition program, I could recognize that I was reaching for food for the wrong reasons. I was reaching for it, not out of hunger but, to fill a void. Sweets, which at one time provided me with satisfaction, were not even doing that.
My mom used to say that when you get your sweet fix early in the day that helps to stave off cravings later in the day. While that might sound plausible, sugar is actually extremely addictive. The body has a way of getting used to added sugar. Consequently, it craves higher and more frequent servings of sugar the more you have it in your diet. I can’t even tell you how many places I had hidden or added sugars in my meals and snacks. That could be sugar in condiments, beverages, granola, yogurt, chocolate, or the plethora of baked goods I was whipping up several times a week.
I’ve talked about sugar here on the blog before but that was nearly two years ago. Nearly two years ago was the last time I went a full 7 days without added sugar! It might not sound like a big deal. If you had asked me even a week before my self-hosted sugar detox challenge, I probably would have said I could stop consuming sugar whenever I wanted. Let me say with full sincerity and zero exaggeration: I was kidding myself and it is a big deal.
My days were comprised of highs and lows and massive cravings—many of which were at night. I like to think of myself as being in full control of myself and situations pertaining to me but, with sugar, I felt like a victim to the energetic rushes and falls it caused in my body. I would feel my blood sugar crash and be desperate for a meal or a snack to balance me out. It even got to the point where it didn’t matter what I would eat or when I would eat because I felt like my heart was racing all the time.
If my reasons for initiating a sugar detox challenge haven’t been clear so far then here’s why I did it:
I was feeling physically sick, exhausted, overly full, and weighed down
If I wasn’t eating, I was thinking about what I would eat next
My mind was increasingly growing foggy and I struggled to concentrate on tasks, let alone my own thoughts
Sugar was a coping mechanism that I used to distract from problems rather than working on solving my problems
Not to lose weight but to manage my weight, which I felt was rising due to hidden calories from sweeteners
To improve my skin (i.e. reduce inflammation and acne)
I was having dramatic fluctuations in moods where I felt emotionally unstable, agitated, or like my head and heart had just run a marathon (sometimes all of those at once)
So that I can be better able to help other people—and I can’t do that without first helping myself
After reading and hearing many studies that show correlation between high sugar consumption and increased risk of developing cardiovascular disease, obesity, or other metabolic illnesses
Most importantly, I wanted to regain control of sugar rather than feeling like sugar was controlling me!
Some of the above areas might not seem like they have a direct relation to sugar and that’s fine. However, I began to notice it would not even bring me the pleasure I once associated with it. So why consume it? In addition, I know that feeling tense and irritated or reaching for food every two hours is not the way life is supposed to be! I’m speaking for myself but I’d say that goes for anyone else out there, too. The food we consume has a direct relation to our bodies. I won’t go into a full tangent about that right now but, simply, the best way I knew I could start feeling better was by cutting out sugar.
So, how did I start eliminating sugar?
I took the same approach as I did the last time I eliminated sugar. From one day to the next, I completely cut out all added sugar. It might sound extreme. After all, changes are usually more sustainable when you implement a few at a time and ease in rather than fully dive into something new. Yet, sugar is one area that I personally feel needs to be cut out 100% so that I can actually notice how I feel without it. If I was to, say, just drop down to having it once a day during a snack, I would still be consuming added sugar. I would still have it in my system, crave it, and plan my day around when I could have it (that was my level of addiction!!!). Therefore, I would not fully be able to access all of the healing that I wanted to accomplish.
My intention upon starting the sugar detox was to spend at least 7 days working on re-structuring my meals with a focus on whole foods. I also wanted to come out of this feeling better and with more stabilized energy! However, I did not set a time limit on how long I was “detoxing”. I just planned to keep it up until I could feel a difference.
Some might say preparing would be helpful. Personally, I do have access to lots of healthy food options. My fridge is stocked with vegetables and fruit and I have a pantry filled with whole grains and legumes. So, it was just a matter of stuffing my packaged snacks and coconut sugar to the far corner of my pantry (out of sight) and focusing on cooking and eating whole foods. If that doesn’t sound like your fridge/pantry, then implementing meals with whole foods might be a better way to begin before trying a sugar detox.
Here is where I’ll break down what I experienced day-to-day. Keep in mind, this is just how I felt but everybody is different so if you do a sugar detox, you could feel different depending on what you eat compared to what your body is used to eating.
Day 1
On the first day, I caught myself getting grumpy at the littlest things. My house can be kind of noisy so I usually wear headphones when I work out but on this day they weren’t working. I wanted to shout at my family for talking and being loud. I realized they weren’t doing anything wrong. It was just me. So, instead, I went to my room to work out and shut the door. Of course, cravings also occurred during the day. By the time afternoon hit, I had a headache.
The hardest habit to break is after-dinner snacks. My sugaraddiction has been very active during the day and dangerously loud in the evenings. Heck, if my sugar addiction was a person, in the evenings it would have held a megaphone next to my ears and shouted to be noticed. I made some sugar-free fudge to help me through the challenge and ate a piece after dinner. (I’ll list the snacks I consumed further down the post)
Food recap: papaya, coconut butter, protein smoothie; socca with cream cheese & avocado; gluten-free pasta with broccoli, tomato, & a plant-based cheese sauce; a piece of sugar-free fudge.
Day 2
My alarm woke me up, as per usual, but my heart was racing! I was still trying to find my groove and overcompensated with an overly indulgent breakfast to stave off cravings. Still, that did not prevent me from getting another headache in the late afternoon. I was trying to limit snacking and that used to be my “quick fix” for a headache. Around 9pm I even felt hungry but I knew I would be going to bed soon so there was no reason to eat anything now.
Food recap: soaked steel-cut oats with unsweetened coconut milk, one of my sugar-free fudge bars mixed in and one on top, plus ground flax and more milk; gluten-free pasta coated in kale-hemp pesto, with kale, romaine, olive oil packed sun-dried tomatoes, & lots of lemon; coconut curry with broccoli, peas, carrots, & red bell pepper; a few snap pea crisps.
Day 3
The headache from the night before was gone. This finally felt like a day where I didn’t have cravings and I felt pretty good. I’m low-key wondering if my dinner was sugar-free because the sauce tasted too good but I wasn’t going to obsess over it.
Food recap: Protein waffle made with pumpkin, brown rice flour, & vanilla protein powder—I ate it in a bowl with milk, cacao nibs, pee pollen, & peanut butter; rosemary sea salt crackers; spinach salad with quinoa, red lentil patties, avocado, tomato, lemon & olive oil, hemp pesto, & roasted red potatoes; Rad Na at a Thai restaurant; raspberry hot tea.
Day 4
I felt myself breaking through some mental blocks and writing was flowing out of me today. Also, despite trying to eliminate sugar, that doesn’t mean I should eliminate naturally sweet foods. This was perhaps the most joyless day of eating I’ve had in a long time! I blame it on the savory breakfast…I felt like I just started my day “off” because of that and, come the end of the day, I was reaching for the only “sweet” thing I could to compensate.
Food recap: chickpea flour scramble with red potatoes, broccoli, green onion, & hot sauce; spinach salad with hemp pesto, quinoa, Greek dressing, & red lentil patties; sugar-free fudge bar; sautéed broccoli, bell pepper, kale patty, beet chips & cream cheese; 2 more fudge bars.
Day 5
I had trouble falling asleep (eh-hem, perhaps from the cacao powder in my fudge) last night. I prioritized the inclusion of naturally sweet foods today and felt much better!
Food recap: chocolate protein smoothie with banana, 3 small dates, tahini, & unsweetened coconut milk; sweet potato with ½ large banana, almond butter, wild blueberries, & snap pea crisps with cream cheese; spaghetti squash with cauliflower bolognese sauce; one sugar-free fudge bar.
Day 6
All of my worst decisions happen after I drink coffee. I should know better by now because it has a way of raining my adrenaline and making me feel like I’m “hungrier” than I really am. And again, I may have been spiked with sweetened almond milk.
Food recap: almond-coconut cinnamon protein pancakes w/ butter & sautéed apple; “quesadilla” made w/ almond flour tortillas, sweet potato, broccoli, hemp pesto, & cream cheese; coffee with almond milk; trail mix of pepitas, coconut flakes, & cacao nibs; chickpea pasta in marinara with broccoli, spinach, potatoes, cauliflower, & vegan cheese; protein popcorn with peanut butter & fudge bar.
Day 7
I’m working on a balance between including naturally sweet foods and also not overdoing it on carbohydrates. I realize I build up this idea of “deprivation” in my mind. That is exactly the sort of mentality that leads me to overeating tendencies.
Food recap: pink lady apple; English muffins w/ sweet potato, half a banana, tahini, cream cheese, and bee pollen; tea and protein popcorn; stir-fried quinoa and chickpeas with greens & lemon water; snacking on batter for chocolate tahini date donuts; one & a half fudge bars.
Day 8
Those donuts that I made last night? Yeah, so, I overbaked them and tried to salvage them but they weren’t good. There’s this weird thing I notice I do where I still try to achieve pleasure from food after I already know it is not satisfying taste-wise. My breakfast made me super full and I felt icky for hours afterwards. The sugar detox is really bringing to light some of the patterns and habits I associate with food.
Food recap: vanilla protein and pear smoothie 2 chocolate tahini date donuts; ginger turmeric black tea with lemon & a large banana; bell peppers and onions sautéed with veggie sausage, served over salad greens with tomatoes, cilantro, vegan cheese, & lemon turmeric dressing.
Day 9
Despite stuffing myself these past several days, I realize I don’t actually need to eat as much as I thought. I used to eat “a lot” but, now that I’ve fazed out the refined and added sugars, I can feel pretty content with eating just plants.
Food recap: chia pudding w/ unsweetened coconut milk & chopped strawberries; blueberry larabar and mango chamomile tea; chickpea cucumber & tomato salad over jicama chips with an herbed tahini sauce; harissa tahini roasted cauliflower with chickpeas served over spinach.
Day 10
Today I used a lot of ingredients but it felt very plant-filled and eating in such a way made me feel “clean”, for lack of a better word. I felt like I was choosing better options and thriving on food in a way I hadn’t in a while.
Food recap: protein cookie dough made with applesauce, coconut flour, almond milk, vanilla protein, and a crumbled up fudge bar; reishi cacao elixir made w/water; leftover veggie sausage with peppers, onions, more greens, cilantro & lemon; fresh orange; pizza made with cauliflower and GF flour for the crust, topped with marinara, vegan mozzarella, mushrooms, & a side salad of romaine, cucumber ½ avocado, lemon, chickpeas, and fresh herbs.
Day 11
I feel like I approached my food with patience and was able to enjoy a post-dinner snack because I wanted a treat and for no other reason. It wasn’t necessary but it also felt like I was taking a balanced approach and that is all I’ve wanted to achieve.
Food recap: Buckwheat porridge w/unsweetened coconut milk, flax, ¼ banana, a tsp of almond butter & a fudge bar; mixed greens salad with chickpeas, cucumber, parsley, tomato, olive oil & lemon; sauté of garlic chickpeas, collard greens, & kale with roasted butternut squash, broccoli, cabbage, herbs, and ¼ avocado; protein mug cake with a drizzle of cashew & coconut butter; reishi cacao elixir.
Day 12
The place I’m at is one of balance. I really feel like I’ve come to a healthy place where I don’t crave sweets. I can do without them but I can also enjoy naturally sweet fruit or, if I’m craving a snack, opt for something more savory.
Food recap: unsweetened coconut yogurt w/berries, cacao nibs, bee pollen; collard green “tacos” with white beans, chipotle mayo, roasted mushrooms, vegan provolone cheese, tomatoes, lettuce, avocado; comfort wellness tea; half a bag of snap pea crisps; veggie stir-fry with brown rice noodles, cilantro, & kimchi.
My thoughts post-challenge
It might not sound like I made too much of a change in my meals and attitude towards food. I bared my honest truth about the struggles I had with overeating and reaching for foods when I knew that wasn’t what I needed. Prior to the sugar detox I was consuming way more sugary baked goods than I’d care to admit, I was drinking kombucha like if it came from the tap, and sweetened yogurts had replaced my plain yogurts. I needed help!
Obviously, behaviors and cravings don’t change overnight. I dealt with those for over half of the sugar detox because my habits still existed; I was just reaching for alternatives. Yet, there was a turning point where I took on a new perspective with food—I’ll have to share about this in another post! Anyway, soon I realized that sweets weren’t satisfying me. They weren’t what I was truly craving and, when I wasn’t filling myself up with food, I felt more vibrant and like a clear vessel for information. The days seemed brighter and I felt happier. It sounds silly, I know, but it is true!
I already have a really particular diet with being plant-based and gluten-free so I can’t imagine adding sugar-free to that list, too. At this time, it is too much restriction for me, personally. Though, I do see that my sugar consumption is something I want to stay on topof so it doesn’t get out of hand again. Therefore I plan to pencil a challenge into my calendar every few months. I think if I can do another 2-3 this year then that will be perfect for maintenance.
Have you ever done a sugar detox? I feel noticeably better and would recommend it to anyone. A 1-3 day challenge may be better to test the waters. Also, if you’re uncertain of how to even approach this, we could work together on removing sugar or any other health goals you may have in one of my 6 month programs! I’ll soon be taking on clients as an Integrative Nutrition Health Coach so stay tuned for that!
I’ve taken a very long break from talking about cycle-syncing but that in no way means it is not part of my life. To this day, I still get questions about periods and menstrual cycles because, for a while, I was quite vocal about my experiences.
When I started melmakesithappen, some of my largest goals at the time were to slow down, tune into my body more, and regain my period naturally. I guess you can say I achieved those goals and that’s why I stopped talking about cycle-syncing. However, I want to bring you guys an update on what I’ve experienced now over a year and a half of cycle-syncing.
Before we dive in, I just want to clarify what cycle-syncing is for any new readers. It is a lifestyle created by WomanCode author, Alisa Vitti, which revolves around the 4 phases of the monthly cycle. We are often taught about the one week out of the month where we bleed but there is SO MUCH going on in our amazing female bodies besides that bleed week. When we start to tune in to the nuances of our bodies, it becomes evident that there are fluctuations in needs and desires for our personal health and well-being.
As women, our hormones are continuously changing and, consequently, what’s most beneficial in terms of food, exercise, or productivity is changing throughout the month, too.
In the past, I’ve talked a lot about the food aspects of cycle-syncing like: how to start, what it was like to integrate different foods, how my mood and energy were affected—which you can read about in my cycle-syncing posts here. Additionally, I have a post that describes how I got into cycle-syncing after I lost my period and methods that helped me bring it back! Those posts might be worth checking out if you are struggling with period-related discomfort or want to learn more about how to cycle-sync.
Today, however, I will be focusing on the lifestyle parts of cycle-syncing, mostly in terms of productivity and self-care! The information is particularly helpful if you’ve started cycle-syncing food and want to see changes in other areas of your life. The cycle definitely contains some powerful tools to maximize work flow simply by tapping into your natural feminine energies! 😉
The way I like to think of my cycle is systematic in terms of how to channel my fluctuating stream of energy. The first half of a cycle in largely extroverted and leans towards creation and development. Whereas, the second half of a cycle is increasingly introverted and primarily steered towards assessment and reevaluating the actions began in the first half.
That is not to say that a person can’t work on evaluative tasks in the first half of a cycle or what have you. These are simply guidelines from my readings (i.e. WomanCode) and my personal experimentation that has led me to see where my energy is best applied. Keep reading for further elaboration of this unique energy categorized by each of the four cycle phases.
Follicular Phase
The first 7 days following the bleed week are basically a time of renewal and rebirth (no pun intended). I notice that my mind feels so much clearer with each passing day and ideas run rampant. Follicular phase is ideal for planning and starting new habits or projects. Personally, this phase gives me a load of confidence to make a huge list of goals that I seek to accomplish. At the same time, I have to be careful not to be overly-ambitious and attempt to tackle more than reasonably possible.
With a great deal of energy, comes a great potential for exploration.
My physical body is invigorated and my mind is primed for learning! I feel like I just want to grow, take in new ideas, try new things, challenge myself with tasks and physical exercises—and overall just step into my own power. I feel alive and want to apply myself towards self-development and, often, educational types of activities—like listening to podcasts. This phase is one of my favorites because I feel like no idea is too small and no opportunity is too daunting. I want to do it all and that sort of zest for life is exciting stuff!
Ovulatory Phase
A significantly shorter phase than follicular but, undoubtedly, even more energy-filled! As any other woman who tracks her cycle will probably attest to, ovulation is amazing. The benefits extend far beyond peak fertility (for those who are trying to get pregnant) though. I feel better about myself (thanks to those hormones!) and I notice that my physical stamina is at an all-time high. It is near impossible for me to sit still to work on a task so I find myself exercising a lot at this time. I love running, doing cardio intervals, or anything that keeps me moving.
Additionally, social hour is not only appealing but fulfilling. I want to be around people and I feel like I have some of my best conversations at this time. It is apparent to me that my thoughts are clear and able to be formed into coherent sentences—which is not always the case (we’ll get to that). Otherwise, ovulatory phase makes for an excellent time to start tackling the logistics of any ideas developed during the follicular phase and applying them.
Luteal Phase
I personally love the first part of the luteal phase because it combines the high energy from ovulation with the analytical skills this phase is known for. I can easily carry out many of the same actions I pursued during ovulation for the first 7-10 days but I also have a growing patience to sit and work on projects for a longer period of time. It’s the time to settle down and fine tune whatever habits or projects I started earlier in my cycle. Also, the length of a luteal phase will vary from woman to woman but it is often distinguishable by higher energy descending into lower energy.
To put it plainly, luteal phase is all about housekeeping, both literally and figuratively. I find my eyes narrow down on minute details that I may not have noticed before. In work tasks, I can be overtaken by an immense drive to fix a small, technical aspect of my blog or sort through my email inbox. The domestic sphere also becomes very important, as this underlying idea of “preparation” takes root in my brain. I am more inclined to tackle chores to keep my space clean or trek out to 5 different stores to buy some very specific items on my grocery/wish list. It’s a “get things done” attitude.
Despite the motivation to get things in order, the energy expenditure takes a toll and self-care rises in priority. Of course, we should be taking time to do little things for ourselves daily but, during the second half of luteal phase (about 5 days before the period), it feels necessary. My inclination is to tune into myself and get to the bottom of any problems that have been growing in my mind. I won’t describe details too much here but I tap into self-healing modalities (more than usual) like meditating with my crystals, writing in my journal, and simply becoming spiritually aware of myself to better my relationship with myself. Plus, my days are filled with many impromptu foot massages, vinyasa yoga, cups of hot tea, or, if I can make the time, a delicious bath may also happen.
Personally, I always want to make the most out of my days so it can be hard to deal with lower energy and brain fog (which makes it hard for me to form a coherent thought!) or other occasional premenstrual symptoms*. So, I take those signs as forced incentive to shut down my laptop and take things easy. It is okay to push myself but I also try to recognize when a little Netflix and chill will suit my energy needs better. Self-care doesn’t need to be anything fancy; it just needs to feel good.
*Something I mentioned that I want to address is premenstrual symptoms. Mine are occasional but that is only a result of long-term cycle-syncing and learning to treat my body well throughout—especially the earlier part of—my cycle (i.e. keep stress to a minimum, eat nourishing food to keep my blood sugar and adrenals stable, etc). I notice when I eat processed food or pursue endeavors that don’t support my emotional and physical well-being, they catch up with me and hit me hard during menstruation.
Menstrual Phase
As I’ve been cycle-syncing for a while, I can sense the approach of my period without even looking at a calendar. Naturally, I’ll continue the lighter movement and less stimulating activities that I took up towards the end of the luteal phase. The way I view the menstrual phase is as a sort of culmination of everything that I have been working on and everything that I have been going through now catches up to me.
Being on my period doesn’t necessarily equal sleep-all-day, low energy like societal stigmas may suggest. At times, I feel restless and even eager to move into more productive activities but my body and mind are not always synced. This is when it becomes crucial to listen to individual needs which will change month to month. Emotions and sensations are also heightened so, at this time, I try to respect my body’s process and tap into the unique wisdom it has to offer.
This phase can feel like coming up for air after being stuck underwater for so long. It can also feel like a punch in the gut if you have neglected your listening to your intuition all month. Nonetheless, both scenarios and everything in between is refreshing.
I am more attuned to recognize things that I need to let go of…whether that be people, habits, or ideas about my self-worth. It helps to dedicate time to self-evaluation and the self-healing modalities I mentioned earlier because this is where insight about what next steps to take or messages of inspiration presents itself.
While I wrote much of the cycle phase break downs from my perspective, I do feel quite aligned with the cycle-syncing lifestyle. The thoughts and challenges that I face are not what you will face during your cycle but I am willing to bet they may feel very similar.
If you are a woman, or know a woman who can benefit from this post, I hope it helps you consider the idea of tuning into your cycle. It is free; it doesn’t require much except a slight alteration of activities to make the most of your fluctuating energy. I admit, it has taken me some time to reach this place but I feel like I am better able to tap into my power, utilize my skills, and accomplish that which I desire because of cycle-syncing.
If you have any questions, feel free to drop them in the comments or send me an email/DM and I’d be glad to chat with you.
Lastly, cycle-syncing is the creation of Alisa Vitti, the author of WomanCode and floliving.com. I’m not being paid to endorse cycle-syncing but much of my education on the subject has come from reading WomanCode. All experiences outlined in this post are my own.
Today I’m sharing my biggest takeaways from blogger and self-help extraordinaire Mark Manson’s ground-breaking novel The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck.
I’ve been on a mission of self-improvement and, in doing so, slowly funding the self-help genre of books. I’ve been avidly seeking out this genre of nonfiction for new perspectives. You guys know I love finding new ways to look at a situation and I think doing so also helps make me more creative.
One of my biggest struggles of daily life is caring too much. That might sound like a petty problem on the surface but I’ve felt it hinder me all throughout my life. After discovering I was an empath and highly sensitive person a few years ago, I had an explanation for my overly-caring tendencies but not a solution. I would still struggle in my abilities to understand myself and come to terms with situations that I need to move on from.
I remember hearing people buzz about the book when it was first released a few years back but I was on a YA-genre diet of books exclusively. It wasn’t until this past December when I came across Mark Manson’s blog that I became hooked on his words. Not to be dramatic but he is basically all that I aspire to be as a writer. His material is thoughtful and relatable, as it touches on areas of life that we are always (whether knowingly or not) trying to improve in. So, after burning through many of his articles, I knew I wanted to pick up his book.
One additional thing that I want to mention is that his writing takes a very real approach to overcoming ruts and obstacles. Some self-help gurus out there will hit you with tough love to push you to change. Others are too gentle—almost using too much of a self-love approach—so that you become comfortable with accepting things as they are. Manson meets us right in the middle so that everyone can work on themselves and on giving less fucks where fucks don’t belong.
I won’t dive too deep into the details of the book because I want you guys to all go out there and read it. It helped me out so much and, if you’re a regular reader around here, it could probably help you out, too.
Eight of the Most Important Takeaways from The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck (i.e. the ones that resonated with me the most!)
Reserve your fucks for what matters
Not giving fucks is not about not caring. (That’s a lot of negatives in that sentence so I’ll repeat it.) Not giving fucks is not about not caring. Instead, it is about understanding that we don’t need to give a fuck about everything. We just need to give a fuck about something meaningful and important to us.
“Don’t hope for a life without problems. There is no such thing. Instead, hope for a life full of good problems.”
We are often of the belief that we need to rid ourselves of problems and then we will be happy. On the contrary, we need to have problems to make us feel like we are succeeding. Plus, overcoming those problems brings us self-improvement and, by consequence, happiness with ourselves.
Choose good values and metrics
According to Manson, we place value in an area and develop metrics, or a system of judgment, to assess whether or not our values are met. Rather than value things that you have no control over, the best values are of the following nature: reality-based, socially constructive, and immediate and controllable. He also addresses how to change your values and the very uncomfortable feelings that accompany such a decision.
Certainty is the enemy of growth
One of my favorite ideas is Manson’s Law of Avoidance which implies that the more something threatens your identity, the more you will avoid it. He advocates for embracing uncertainty and the discomfort that holds. It sounds counterproductive but the more you try to be certain about something the more uncertain and insecure you will feel.
Do something and the answers will follow
Even when we feel we have no direction, the moment we start doing anything, it will propel us towards figuring out what we actually want and, thus, bring us closer to what can actually benefit us.
You can’t solve other people’s problems
Likewise, other people can’t solve your problems. Neither situation leads to happiness. What we need to do is take responsibility for our own problems. For others, what we can do is support them in their journey to solve a problem but not take on the responsibility of solving their problems.
Commit to something and reject the alternative
This idea in particular really resonates with me, as someone who has a lot of trouble with making choices. I fear making the “wrong” choice but an even worse situation would be not making a choice. If we don’t make a choice, we miss out on the depth of beauty and level of content that exists only when you can commit to something aligning with your most important values.
Care about something greater than yourself
We have full control of our values and the greatest sense of happiness can be achieved when we place our fucks in worthwhile values. In the long-run, the most beneficial places to place our fucks will be in causes that help others.
When this book came into my hands, I was working through stagnation that derived from indecision. Manson’s book encouraged me to recognize that I am not wrong to feel uncertain about the choices I want to make. It provided me the outlook that having uncertainty means I’m growing. And as I grow, I meet people and opportunities that demand I make a choice. The more I make choices, the more I learn what is and what is not right for me, and the closer I am to bringing in people and opportunities that are a little more right for me. That’s all I can ask for.
What do you think? These are just super brief bullet points as to what stood out to me in The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck that personally resonated with me. I’m sure there is a topic in here that will hit home for everyone no matter where you are in your life. Have you read this book? Do any of the points I mentioned resonate with you? I’d love to hear what you think.
Aaaand if you have read it, are you as siked as I am that Mark Manson has a follow-up novel about what’s fucked up with our ideas of hope? You can view it here on Amazon! Not sponsored, just super excited!
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