I’ve never been the girl who celebrates my birthday in any grand sort of way. My best girl friend (whom I’ve known since junior high), for example, has continued to have week-long birthday celebrations ever since I met her. I’m not about completely dismissing my day but, rather, I tend to use it as a marker for reflections of the past year.
I look back on where I was a year ago today and, at first glance, I am the same. It’s frustrating to think a whole year has gone by and, just like last year, I am currently jobless and questioning my life’s purpose. Not in a melodramatic sort of way, but in a I-can’t-wait-until-I-can-find-my-thing sort of way.
On the other hand, it isn’t fair for me to completely dismiss my experiences. Even if I seemingly am in such similar circumstances to last year, my last year’s self could not have predicted the things I went through!
Shortly after my birthday last year, I finally got hired somewhere. It was part time for the holiday season. Around a week into the job, I found out I was chosen for a full time position at an office job I’d applied for. I began my new job in mid-November and continued my part time job through the first week of January. I never thought I’d be hustling with two jobs like that but I did it!
I’m a bit timid around new people so both of my jobs really threw me into the water with all of the customer servicing and coworker communications I needed to learn. I still have a little anxiety about talking to people but it’s far less. The circumstances and needs of the jobs helped me break out of my shell!
I learned what it means to employ self-care when time really doesn’t allow it.
Everyone has things going on but, admittedly, it is easier to tend to yourself when you don’t have a full time job and obligations to others. I’d literally squeeze in morning workouts for the sake of starting my day doing something for me. My life felt controlled by time so I savored even moments to just eat a meal in peace and quiet. That was all I could manage because other activities I enjoyed, like: journaling, meditation, leisurely cooking, painting, and writing for melmakesithappen.com weren’t happening regularly.
I also went through a hell of a lot of mental and physical health issues, perhaps largely brought on by stress. So, I really had to relearn what self-care means for me.
The challenge of standing up for myself and knowing my place was an interesting one.
I’ve always been a person who speaks her mind so that presented some problems at my workplace. Though, opening up about myself (under appropriate circumstances) also enabled me to make some really cool friends. I’m not delusional enough to think I am going to be liked by everybody. Still, I learned the hard way that there are going to be some people that just don’t like me. It may not even have anything to do with something I am doing wrong, and I probably won’t ever get a real reason why.
Though, there are actual people who like me like me. Yeah; I hadn’t even contemplated the idea of dating until I started working. The people I know from school and the ones I come into contact with around town are just not into the same things as me. I’d seriously thought I’d be a singleton 4 life! All jokes aside, I dated not one but two coworkers back-to-back. I’d never intended for that to happen but, after casually dating someone in my department for a few months, I met this other guy from a different department in my building. Simply put, I felt the sparks immediately.
I fell in love.
There is no way to say it without sounding woo-woo or completely ludicrous but I believe he is the one someone I’ll always cherish having met. We met under less than ideal circumstances. Situationally, things were not in our favor because of work and his personal uncertainties about himself. We couldn’t be open about our relationship but that didn’t stop us from opening up to each other. We had so much in common. Yet, in the ways we differed, we still sought to lift the other person up.
For the first time in my life, I felt open to the possibility of commitment, marriage, and maybe even children. I can’t express how much of a deal this is so I’ll quote my best friends reaction when I told her how I felt about him: “What? Melanie? The woman who needs no man?!” It shocked me and everyone around me. I loved myself but I loved who I was when I was with him. It was the most special and true feeling I’ve ever felt. He said I taught him a lot and, equally, I feel like I learned so much from him. I’d like to think we will reconnect when the time is right make peace with the way things ended between us. It doesn’t do me any good to dwell. So I’m moving forward and trying to relearn what it means to be me.
I didn’t realize how quick of a fall it is to rock bottom and how far of a climb up it takes.
Basically, after getting (both of) my jobs, I felt confident and capable! I knew I could learn and excel with just a bit of training and practice. Yet, in the words of Taylor Swift, “people throw rocks at things that shine” (Ours). Slowly, that took a toll and, couple that with the ending of my relationship, I fell into depression and simply couldn’t keep my head above water. After leaving my full time job, I felt relief. I was extremely saddened to lose all that I had spent months building but I realize I had become so weakened and unhappy that I was at an ultimate low point.
My family has my back. Oh, how I disregarded them the moment things got busier with me and my jobs. I wanted to avoid bringing the outside into my house so they didn’t know too much about what I had going on day-to-day. It wasn’t until things got bad that I broke down and told them. Their support was everything. Even now, when I sort of feel like I’ve lost it all, they’re here for me.
This brings me to now. I’m just a girl, another year older. I am taking a class at community college, searching for a part time job, and just trying to find direction. I’m still confused about what my place is but reflection shows me I am making strides.
Not too different from a year ago, right? (Well, I guess you wouldn’t know that.) Situationally, October 1st, 2018 does look rather similar to October 1st, 2017. Yet, inside of me the changes are vast. I can’t begin to predict what my 24th year will bring but I’m here and I’m ready.
Recently, I read the acclaimed Eckhart Tolle’s book, The Power of Now. In a previous Friday Five post, I mentioned a possible review of the book; though, I think I’ll do the book more justice by sharing my takeaways. I gravitated towards the title and idea of discovering how to really begin living in the now.
There are little acts of mindfulness that I already try to incorporate on a daily basis, but that was merely a starting place. A state of peace and contentment that comes from truly being present requires a little more effort and practice. For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been a “five minutes from now” kind of person. I think about what is coming next instead of focusing on what I’m doing right now. Just as much, I look to the past and dwell on times of the past. These are habits I thought anyone can fall into but, I’ve learned, they aren’t necessary.
Bringing Future and Past Thoughts into the Now
Let me explain. Respectfully, a certain degree of planning can be helpful but it needs to have an end point. I frequently have a thought-whirlpool of plans, wants, desires, and memories pop into my head first thing in the morning. Does this sound familiar? The overwhelming nature of the thoughts impedes the calm and restful state I awake from. Other times, events and tasks stack up quickly and unexpectedly. The rush of it all sends my cortisol levels through the roof; I seek to tackle the tasks but almost become crippled by the sheer thought of it all. If I can move, I force myself into a rushed panic to get things done. Keywords: stressful and unhelpful.
The Future Can Wait
What is the alternative to being burdened by all of those thoughts? Well, I’m certainly still working on this but I ask myself if a thought is important right now. Few times are things so imminent as to require our immediate attention. For any thought I might want to remember, I jot it down on a notepad or type it out on my phone and set it aside. The note (mine is usually a list) allows me to relinquish the thought for the moment and come back to it later. This way, I can focus on what I am currently doing.
The Past is in the Past
Earlier I mentioned how memories can also pop into my head and contribute to the thought-whirlpool. In recent time, the thoughts of my past have probably eaten away at me most of all. Our emotions have a way of connecting to thoughts—memories most of all. That is what makes them all the more intense. Memories that we deem “good”, keep us in a state of wishfullness. If we continue to label thoughts of the past as “better times” then we will apply that outlook to the present moment and CERTAINLY be unsatisfied.
On the other hand, we may also ruminate on thoughts of the past tied up in guilt, pain, or sadness. Again, these are all emotional ways of viewing the memories. Admittedly, I always say: feelings are valid. I fully believe in acknowledging them. Though, it needs to be recognized when feelings are not serving any benefit.
Letting Go of What We Know
In The Power of Now, Tolle conveyed the very interesting point that WE are the ones who hold onto our “painful” memories. We create pain for ourselves by circulating the memories over and over again in our head. A certain amount of this may be needed to come to terms with an event but, just as emotions get tied up with memories, we can easily learn to associate with pain. Tolle calls it a “pain-body”, a sort of second skin that we let envelop us.
Personally, the concept of a pain-body really resonated and made me realize I had been using my pain as a clutch. Instead of working on me, I’d let myself sink into the familiar sadness of thoughts, songs, and patterns that perpetuated my pain. You can read more about what this specifically entailed in this post.
The point I’m trying to make here is: the associations we apply to our thoughts encourage us to remain in a state of distress. The thoughts stay at the top of our mind and don’t allow us to successfully engage in any other task or activity with peace. It is up to us to stop the thought-whirlpool and concentrate on living in the now.
Why Is Living in the Now So Important?
The question has certainly crossed my mind. Though, I realize when I am preoccupied with what is coming (or what I think might be coming), I am not only detracting attention from my current task but creating significant emotional distress. I can’t peacefully sit by myself or with company, I can’t enjoy the meal I’m eating or the movie I’m watching, or anything if I keep thinking of nonexistent moments. The reason they are nonexistent is because they are not the now.
A little known fact about living in the now is that there is no stress or unhappiness. The future and past do not exist here so there is no need to carry thoughts of either into the now. The present moment offers peace.
More appropriately, the present moment, when you really tune in, just is.
The perspective I offer in this post has largely come from an immense amount of self-exploration and the influential teachings of Eckhart Tolle. If anything I’ve mentioned piques your interest even a bit, I highly recommend checking out his book, The Power of Now.
You guys are magical! Thank you for being here! I’d love to hear what ways you try to implement mindfulness to better enjoy living in the now.
Hey friends! Who else is struggling to find consistency in their life when everything feels so up in the air? Is it just me? I’d like to blame it on the changing seasons. Each year, when fall comes around, I feel a sense of refresh and rebirth hit me. Something about the season has always caused that. Maybe it has something to do with my birthday being in the fall? Who knows? 🙂
Now, onto some favorites from this week!
Pacifica eyeliner
Just like mascara, quality eyeliner is difficult to find. I use so many Pacifica products already so I knew I could trust them for sustainable, cruelty-free ingredients. To my surprise, the eyelineris very smooth, but not oily or soft, and has great wear-time. It applies with ease and just a bit of powder around the area keeps the liner from transferring. You can find Pacifica makeup in select stores but I buy mine from iHerb! (Code: MUS0884 for 5% off!)
Lauren Gleisberg Fall Challenge
If you follow me on Instagram, you know I’m trying to kick my butt into shape. I started Laruen Gleisberg’s Fall Challenge this week and boy, oh boy, does she mean business. My arms hate me as I write this. They’re so sore–in a good way! Though, the reason I like her workouts is because her workout plans target every muscle. Most workout programs will boast that same hook but Lauren splits up workouts by muscle group so every day you’re targeting a new spot. I personally find this to be extremely helpful for arm workouts in particular. You can work “arms” on back-to-back days as long as you’re targeting different muscles! Anyway, I’m following her free challenge and loving it so far!
Spiralized and “riced” vegetables
In addition to hitting my workouts harder, I am trying to ease off of the carbalicious life I’ve been living all summer. When I was having all sorts of stomach issues, soaked and soft-cooked grains were one of the foods I leaned on. Thankfully, I’m better able to digest the vegetables that I couldn’t at the time. So now, I’m trying to make meals with vegetables playing main stage. I’m looking to non-starchy veggies, breaking out my inspiralizer, and getting creative. Here is a dish I made myself earlier in the week:
A bed of mixed greens, topped with sauteed zoodles and onions, a beet and carrot “rice”, hummus, and fresh cilantro.
The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
Back in high school, I was able to read many classic literature novels thanks to my Honors English classes. I’d say those classes really opened up my eyes to some interesting and impactful works of fiction. I’ve always been a fan of reading but usually YA fiction. Somehow, I haven’t really kept up with classic lit into adulthood but I’m glad I picked this one up.
The novel is downright eerie. It follows a young girl named Esther Greenwood as she has a sort of quarter life crisis. She feels she should be appreciative of her accomplishments but she just isn’t happy. She is frustrated with her job and the company she keeps. Her passion for writing is dwindling and her interest in life overall. The melancholic story was almost hard to read at times because, as a reader, I felt I could put myself in her shoes. I cringed at the sinister thoughts that crossed her mind but I understand them. It isn’t a feel-good read but, nonetheless, I think it is an important book to read because it portrays a very real and personal idea of what depression is like.
Daniel Caesar’s music
My taste in music is rapidly expanding this year! I never used to listen to soulful, bluesy, or rap music but look at me now! All of Daniel Caesar’s music is so, so good—check him out on Spotify! My favorite songs are Japanese Denim and basically everything from his album Freudian. I’ll include a video of a song from that album called “Hold Me Down”:
Hey friends! It’s time for another Friday Five. I’m not always that consistent with my blog but I am trying to change that! What sort of content do you enjoy seeing? I like variety so you can continue to expect that from me. As for now, let’s get into the Friday Five!
Forager Project Organic Pressed Vegetable Chips
Crunchy snacks aren’t usually my thing but that was before I tasted these gluten-free chips! No, they don’t taste like vegetables the way those fake veggie straws do. You’ll actually want to eat these! I love the chips on their own, dipped into vegan cream cheese! They are also my choice for easy skillet nachos (see this post on my Instagram). Sometimes I even crumble them on top of my salads like a boss. I’ve tried the original and the cheesy variety, so far, and both are SO GOOD!
Atlanta
If you asked me what the last show I’d be interested in watching is, besides Master of None (read this post for clarification), I’d say Atlanta. I kind of have a genre of TV shows that I lean towards. If it’s not on The CW, is it even worth watching? Jk. Though, I have been rapidly expanding my interests and this show is so different from anything else I watch.
It’s about a group of guys from poverty-ridden Atlanta—one of the guys being Donald Glover (aka Childish Gambino), who plays a manager for his rap artist cousin, Paper Boi—trying to make a buck and make it big in the rap music scene. The show portrays the socio-cultural challenges they face as Paper Boi gains exposure. It also addresses very real instances of discrimination with shock, humor, and finesse. Freaking Hulu decided to take season 2 of Atlanta off their site so, if you know where I can find it, help a sister out!
Peanut Butter Cookie Dough-Stuffed Brownies
Do you ever go to the “explore food” part of Instagram and see these wild photos of decadent eats? Usually it’s something covered in puddles of chocolate or a big doughnut oozing peanut butter filling! Oh, or maybe that stuff just appears in my feed (???). Anyway, the idea of cookie dough stuffed in between a brownie sounds real extravagant but I found a way to get my fix without killing my waistline. I also snuck some peanut butter Tone it Up protein in there. Yupp, yupp, yupp! I’ll be shouting “hooray!” while dunking one of these bad boys in some almond milk. 😎 You can find the recipe for these over at FoodFitnessFaith!
The Power of Now
Do ya’ll remember when I started my blog, I loved doing book reviews? Throwback moment! I am contemplating reviewing The Power of Now but, at this time, I’ll just say that it is brilliant. The text contained in the book does not involve words unheard of but, rather, an illumination to a pattern of disconnect we all partake in. In our day and age, it can be difficult to be present but the benefits are quite a fascinating discovery. Presence allows us to tap into a state of inner peace and separates us from the pain we may have learned to associate with.
Binaural beats meditation
Binaural music is produced to provide a listener with music that, when listened through headphones, comes in at two different frequencies. When the brain receives these two frequencies of sound, it initially wants to interpret them but is soon encouraged to drop the analyzing and just accept it.
Similarly, the same can occur for your thoughts. That’s why I like using it for meditation music when I want to release my grip on certain thoughts. There is a greater and more detailed explanation on the different frequencies over on this article. You can also find some great meditation music, including the binaural beats variety, on YouTube, and one of my favorites is this one:
Thanks for reading! I hope you all are having a lovely Friday and are off to a great weekend! Let me know what you’re going to be up to in the comments or over on Instagram!
Today I’m bringing you a super short and sweet list of five things I’m loving lately. I used to do favorites posts a while back and they were some of my favorites to write. Do you guys like seeing what I’m into? I am all about connecting with y’all and bringing you guys meaningful content. So, please, let me know what you think! I always appreciate the feedback!
I don’t know why it has taken me so long to start listening but I’m glad I have! This podcast is the bees knees! Co-hosts and real-life couple, Lauryn and Michael are the best balance of hilarity and business savvy. On each episode, they provide insightful anecdotes, entrepreneurial advice, and entertaining guests. Listening to one of their podcast episodes is like sitting down to have a glass of wine with some friends. I love it!
Collagen Peptides
I can’t quite get over how strange I feel to say that I take collagen! It all started back when my stomach was irritating me like crazy after a short antibiotics stint. I already was dealing with sucky digestion and I felt like the lining in my stomach was just not having it. Collagen has a plethora of benefits but I began taking it for the purpose of repairing my stomach lining. It’s super easy for me to throw a scoop in any beverage, soup, breakfast entree, or a smoothie!
I take it daily and, after a few weeks, was able to notice a difference. Additionally, I am very satisfied with the two brands I’ve tried: Primal Kitchen Unflavored Collagen Peptides and Vital Proteins Unflavored Collagen Peptides. I’m working on a tub of the latter right now. It is a supplement though so I might take a break afterwards just to see how my body feels without.
Master of None
Do you ever finish a show and then wonder what you’re going to do with your life now? I am feeling serious Master of None withdrawals, guys! This show is LIFE. I know that sounds dramatic but it perfectly depicts the phenomenon that is the trials and tribulations of modern society through dating and relationships. If you are like me and thought Aziz Ansari was the most annoying little sidekick in Parks and Recreation…high five. Though, don’t let that stop you from watching his Netflix show. I think this might be my favorite show ever and I’m semi-convinced it could be yours, too.
If you are like me and live outside of a major city, it can be hard to find specialty projects. What are the chances of finding dairy-free, soy-free, sugar-free yogurt in stores? Ha, yeah right! <– Is what I would have said a month and a half ago before my local Vons started carrying such a product. I’m so appreciative of a brand like Forager Project for making quality plant-based products. Their plain yogurt is my new favorite base for smoothies, parfaits, yogurt bowls, and as a pancake topping! It also works well in recipes like any other yogurt would!
Have you ever read about the gross chemicals that are used in mascara? In actuality, I don’t experience eye sensitivities but, as I read more about what goes into products, it makes it hard for me to use ones that have questionable ingredients. I’m the pickiest person with mascaras but the Blackest Black shade from Pixie is my go-to. The large fluffy brush makes it easy to thoroughly coat lashes. It adds volume without weighing them down. Yeah, that’s right. No soggy, limp lashes over here! Pixie uses ingredients with a reputable safety record and no animal testing occurs on their part or their suppliers! Sounds good to me 🙂
Was this quick and brief? I’m so proud of myself for not writing an essay! Lol. Definitely let me know what you think of these sorts of posts here or on Instagram! Also, I’d love to hear what you love lately. Let’s connect!
Would you guys believe that I’ve been saving this French toast recipe for weeks just so that it would be closer to fall? I don’t know if anyone would’ve been on board for warm French toast when its 90-125 degrees outside.
Weirdly enough, this summer I’ve been eating a lot more warm foods for breakfast than ever before. If you’ve been around here for a while, you know I’m a hardcore smoothie enthusiast. Yet, as I’ve dabbled in ways to improve my digestion, I found a new love for warm breakfasts.
This recipe came about one morning when I was low-key craving cinnamon raisin buns—using this recipe from RachLMansfield—but did not have any of those around. Her recipe is super simple but when you want breakfast now, not hours from now, you get creative.
Here was my thought process:
Ooh cinnamon raisin Ezekiel bread in my freezer? This might taste similar to cinnamon buns.
Let’s use some vanilla unsweetened almond milk, too. Oh, maybe French toast?
Hmm but then I need to turn on the stove and that takes too long. GROAAANN.
Wait, how about the ol’ microwave? Yeah, this could work!
Honestly, the microwave is never my first choice for cooking but I knew it would provide the dried-out top the way the oven does for baked goods. I had a very specific texture I desired: crisp top and chewy center. I am happy to say I achieved this!
As a final note: I whipped this all up in the morning but, if you’re a planner, this would probably be excellent made-ahead. You could set it in your fridge overnight and then microwave it in the morning.
Single French Toast Bake in a Microwave
Recipe Type: Breakfast
Author: Melanie
Prep time:
Cook time:
Total time:
Serves: 1 serving
Ingredients
½ cup vanilla unsweetened almond milk
½ tsp cinnamon
½ scoop vanilla protein powder
½ scoop collagen peptides (optional, but adds a “chewy” texture)
A tiny pinch of sea salt
2 slices cinnamon raisin Ezekiel
Instructions
Cut the bread slices into cubes. I did three slices horizontally and vertically for 9 cubes per toast!
In a microwave safe bowl or wide ramekin, mix the milk, cinnamon, protein powder, and collagen until combined.
Then, dredge the bread cubes into the mixture. Lightly press them down while trying to coat all sides of the cubes. After all of the bread cubes have been dredged, press the cubes into a flat, even layer and place in the microwave.
Cook for 3-4 minutes, depending on your microwave. The top should look and feel dry to the touch.
Be careful when removing because the bowl will be HOT! Let cool for a few minutes before adding syrup, yogurt, or additional raisins to your French toast (microwave) bake!
3.5.3251
It makes me excited when I can discover a shortcut to something that usually takes a lot longer to make. I’m planning on just prepping containers of this in my fridge and warming them up for the weekday mornings. 😎
Let me know if you give this recipe a try! Comment below or tag me on Instagram!
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