The idea for this post came when I started working at my recent office job. I quickly realized that my style of communication amongst friends was a little different than the ways coworkers at my office tend to communicate. I can be sociable but the hard part is always starting because, hey, talking to new people is scary.
Also, it might sound inherently obvious that things are and should be different online than in real life. You can’t go around using internet lingo like, “YAS GIRL!” when you agree with someone else. Nor is it appropriate to introduce yourself to others using photos instead of actual words. So, for someone who got used to communicating primarily through internet / social media (i.e. Instagram + My Blog) I had to up my social skills so that I didn’t seem like the girl who lived under a rock.
Here are some things that I discovered make for easier in-person communication:
Know who you are.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been asked what I do/did before working at my office. I disagree with defining oneself solely by jobs so feel free to throw in hobbies or activities that also describe a bit about you. (In such a situation, I might say, “Oh, well, after I graduated with my Psych degree in 2016 I’ve been doing some volunteering at local organizations but I’ve also used the time to explore my own interests, like cooking.”)
Ask people about 1) what they do or 2) themselves.
This tip will rarely fail you because people like talking about themselves. If someone lets on that they’re passionate about their work, go ahead and ask about it. This is especially useful within a work environment so that you can get an idea of people’s roles and the teamwork aspect. If outside of a workplace, try to AVOID asking about work. I know this sounds contradictory but there is a time and a place for everything. Unless your conversation partner brings it up, its best to stick with lighter topics because, surprise-surprise, not everyone likes what they do.
Common knowledge is only common knowledge amongst your peer or familial group.
It basically goes out the window when interacting with a mixed age group or even people of varying backgrounds/cultures. Someone else might not know the latest street slang, that ubiquitous Top 40 song, or even what you’d consider BASIC information in your field of interest.
For a personal example, I’m a foodie (definition: a person who enjoys all things food –there I go with the subculture reference :p ) and enjoy hearing about nutrition-related advancements and plant-based culture. Though, most people are not in my same boat and I can’t expect them to want to taste something green when that is unfamiliar to them. Some people are proud of themselves for having just given up drinking soda a few months back. Whenever I’ve heard this I used to think: what?! Who still drinks soda? Don’t you know how bad it is for you? Instead, I’ve become better at reframing my thinking to one of less judgment and of acceptance that everyone is at a different place in their life.
It is not ignorance to be unaware; rather, it is ignorance for those who don’t want to listen to what they hear.
To bounce off what I said in the last section, sometimes people aren’t going to be open to what you have to say or offer. Heck, they might never be ready but that’s okay, too. We are all individuals with our own free will. That is not to say that there is some elite group of people who are “more open”, either. We cannot possibly carry the worldly perspective on every subject because that only comes from experience and shared knowledge. It is likely that most all of us have blocks on our openness that just haven’t been pushed or explored yet. Which brings me to…
Listen to learn, listen to grow, listen to communicate and be a better you.
When developing a friendship, acquaintanceship, or any sort of relationship with another person, I value listening above all else. For myself, I get to hear about the other person and feel them out to see what we may have in common. I can also soak up stories about their unique experiences. My downfall is that I can listen to much, but that’s another story. Additionally, if someone extends that same courtesy to you, and is interested in hearing about you, then they’re a keeper. Personally, I feel like this is an indication of how much the other person cares or is invested in what the both of you talk about. People who are only interested in talking about themselves may have some interesting stories to tell but they aren’t going to consider you the way you deserve.
There are all sorts of people in this world and we can’t and won’t get to know them all. Though, I would like to think that the people that we cross paths with are valuable for that, in the very least. Maybe it is just a 5 minute conversation while waiting in line for your latte at the coffee shop. Or, maybe you hit it off with a coworker and something special develops between the two of you. Who knows? That’s how friends or relationships are made. That’s how you develop as an individual. It all starts somewhere. It starts with you putting yourself out there.
Thanks for being here! ♥
Interested in more reading on articles of similar topic?
Hello beautiful souls! I’ve missed you! The whole two jobs, no spare time thing has really put a damper on social time. In case you didn’t know, I got hired for a seasonal job back in October and, not long after, was offered a full time job elsewhere. I’ve been juggling the two at the sacrifice of social media, my loving blog, and communication with anyone who isn’t a coworker or family living in my house. As the month soon comes to a close, I foresee some more time for me to get back to all of that!
For now, I’ve got a list of things I’ve loved over the past few months. My last monthly favorites post was back in September and much has happened since then! I can’t commit to a monthly favorites post at this time but I’ve got a huge list of goodies to keep you occupied. Be sure to tell me what you’re loving in the comments down below or on Instagram!
Visual Favorites
Hallmark Channel
As far as TV goes, Hallmark Channel is where I’m at! Hallmark Channel is putting out 20 new movies this holiday season. While it is almost over, you can find a holiday movie airing at any hour of the day on the channel—along with its partner channel Hallmark Movies and Mysteries. The cozy, sweet, and romantic movies are all I need to make my December feel like Christmastime. A few film favorites are: Marry Me at Christmas, Miss Christmas, and Christmas in Angel Falls.
73 Questions with ______
Recently, I went on a video binge over on the Vogue YouTube channel. They have a series called 73 Questions with different celebrities. It is such a fun, laid-back way of asking questions that tell you a lot of interesting things about the person in a short amount of time. See my woman crush Emma Stone’s 73 Questions video here!
I was on a big lemon/ apple cider vinegar warm water kick and now tea is my morning cup of choice. This one legit smells like hot chocolate but the depth of flavor is unlike any other tea I’ve tried. Once before, I had a plain mushroom tea that tasted like bitter broth but I guarantee Reishi Detox is yummy even for mushroom haters.
B-Complex Vitamin
As you may have heard, supplements can’t fix a bad diet. Supplements are only meant to assist in health not be the sole solution. I eat pretty healthy (hello, have you seen my Instagram photos?) but, with the addition of B vitamins, I have seen noticeable effects. I’ve tried taking a B12 vitamin but I really find that the B complex is the best. If you take too much of one, you might be lacking in the others so a complex ensures you’re getting all the vitamins you need. I was taking Nature Made B Complex plus a B6 vitamin until I found this Solgar brand at Vitamin Shoppe. Both work but the variety of B vitamin levels in the Solgar one allow me to meet my needs in one bottle!
Protes Chips
I’m making efforts to not be a carb monster so protein-filled snacks are a great addition to my meals! So, I’m definitely not a chips person or a crunchy food person usually but these are different. The Protes chips are light and crispy and quite flavorful! The bags are small but satisfying—and the savory and dessert flavors are both delicious!
Recipes I’m Loving
Garlic Sweet Potato Fries
Behold: the yummiest recipe for CRISPY Sweet Potato Fries at home! Dare I say they’re better than the fried kind at restaurants :p
Black Bean Salad with Roasted Sweet Potatoes
I made this dish for a staff after-hours party and I received multiple complements! The zesty, tex-mex dish is perfect as a standalone meal or side dish! I’ve got some leftovers in my fridge ready to be made into tacos 😉
Coconut Cacao Tahini Snack Bites
I love Minimalist Baker’s take on the “fat ball”. It combines my precious tahini and delicious coconut butter for a melt-away, delicious, and satiating snack. Try them and swoon!
Paleo Double Chocolate Banana Bread
This recipe uses A LOT of ingredients so it took me a while to get everything I needed to make it. Let me tell ya, it’s worth it! This banana bread tastes like freaking rich, dark chocolate cake without the sugar! It’s naturally sweetened from banana and doesn’t leave me feeling weighed down like if I ate something decadent. It is also delicious with nut butter or decked out as a breakfast meal.
Fit Favorites
I admit I’ve sidetracked from my workouts lately. I felt like the pressure to fit in a workout was getting to be too much. Though, exercise makes me feel good so I’ve still got some options! Lauren Gleisberg’s Fitmas is crazy good for strength training! I love the targeted body part workouts that are usually less than 30 minutes to complete.
The stress at work + the natural stress from workouts had me feeling like I had no moments of calm. So, a yoga flow to start my day sets me up for success! I recently completed Yoga Revolution for the second time and know the upcoming January challenge will be just as amazing!
Audible Favorites
Eisley’s newest album I’m Only Dreaming
The angelic vocal stylings of Sherri Dupree make for a record of wistful, melancholic, dream pop. The band has come a long way since older albums Room Noises and Combinations but maintain the gorgeous ambient tunes that make them unique. Listen to Sparking down below or check out their Christmas single (YAS!) Star on the Tree.
One Part Plant Podcast
I think I’ve mentioned this podcast in a previous favorites video but this latest season of episodes is crazy great. Jessica Murnane really put together a great lineup of guests. If you’d like a recommendation, check out episode 89 with Celeste Headlee!
Real Talk About Life Lately
Honestly, guys, I haven’t felt this level of stress in a while. So much so that my period came a week late this last cycle! Also, for me, the first place stress hits me is my face. My skin is freaking out and breaking out. The winter has also been killing my hands which are competing with the scratchiness of sandpaper. If you’ve got any recommendations for natural or nontoxic lotions, please share. I know my skin will get better if I can just chill out. Easier said than done but I’m trying to find my groove!
The center where I work full-time always keeps me busy. Though, what makes it really enjoyable is the people I work with. I started out being trained by a girl who was leaving (and I was replacing) and we became instant friends! Funny how that happened. I feel so fortunate to have met her because she is such a rare, sweet person!
As well, I’ve become friendly with a few others in the office but there is this one particular guy I work with who is so cool. With my hormonal imbalance issues, I almost thought I lost the ability to actually like someone else the way I like him. He knows a lot around the office and is beyond helpful with showing me reports, how to fix the copy machine, and more. At a recent staff party, (where I made the above mentioned sweet potato dish) him and I chatted nonstop! 🙂
For the first time in a long time, I’m just excited about this time of year and where things may be headed. I’m sending love and warm wishes to you all ♥
For a long time, I didn’t celebrate holidays at all. My family didn’t decorate the house or dress up or play holiday tunes while I was growing up. I would look to friends in awe off their family’s traditions and celebrations and long for something special. It wasn’t until I was in high school that my family started to get together with extended family for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s Day. As a kid, I had established expectations from movies of what the holidays should look like. Now, I find myself in a rushed state of activity that I worry the holidays will just blow past me before I get a chance to sit down. The thing is, there are a handful of qualities that make the holidays special.
For anyone who has longed for more or can’t manage to find enjoyment in the holidays, for whatever reason, I hope this list helps!
Also, let me begin by saying YOU are special. You don’t need the verification of gifts or other hoopla to confirm that. Still, I know that if you’re reading this you’re interested in how we can increase our satisfaction with the holiday season.
Here are some ideas:
If you’re like me and live in a hot desert town, then you long for a snowy cold Christmas. I don’t have tricks to make snow happen (though cranking the air conditioning might help) but try bringing the festivity indoors! Decorate your house, bedroom, office space—heck, even your bathroom! It’ll add some cheer to the places you spend the most time.
Try lighting some candles or incense that add freshness to the air and encourage positive feelings. Think: peppermint, pine, cedarwood, eucalyptus, or other fresh scents!
MUSIC. Blast those tunes. Throwback to TSwift’s ’06 Christmas album right here…
What are your favorite pastimes? (Perhaps you’ve abandoned that mystery novel you bought at Target—it’s time to start reading it again!) Nothing feels more fulfilling than spending your time doing what you love!
Think about what traditions or activities you loved to do as a kid and recreate those for yourself or for your family. Example: I remember my mom making hot cocoa for me and we would paint bird houses or other knick-knacks to place in our garden.
These drinks don’t require a trip to Starbucks and they’ll brighten up your winter: hot chocolate London fog or apple cider.
I feel like baking is a given but, if not, here it is. When in doubt, bake! Check out some yummy cookie recipes here, here, and here .
Are you watching Hallmark Channel’s Christmas lineup? There are movies airing every single day that are filled with festivity and romance and holiday cheer! If there is one thing I enjoy most about the holidays, it’s watching Hallmark Christmas movies.
Do something nice for someone else. Help your neighbors clean their driveways of snow or offer your time at a nonprofit. The Salvation Army could always use extra hands around the holidays. Or, perhaps, a homeless shelter or other local organization in your area could benefit from your assistance.
Write one or a few Christmas cards to mail out. Your friends, family, or even the troops overseas will appreciate it! Perhaps the last one requires a bit of planning but all-year-round letters are great, too!
It’s okay to recognize that you may be lonely (cue: Lonely People) but you are NOT alone. Call up your parent, sibling, old high school friend, or anyone that you’ve lost touch with. It can be hard to reach out but it is also a joy to hear from someone you used to be close with. Nowadays with the internet, you can also message them on Facebook and plan for a day to meet up. Or schedule a Skype date with long distant friends!
Many times, the people you surround yourself with can influence how you feel. Try connecting with different people in your office or community groups and you’ll find that few people think alike. There are a lot of happy, outgoing people out there and their energy can help boost you up.
At the end of the day, remember that the holidays will pass. Try to find enjoyment in the little things. It might seem like so much is happening right now that you’re not a part of but trust that everything is as it should be.
I’m wishing all of you a happy and wholesome holiday season. Do what brings you joy!
If you’d like, share what you do during the holidays in the comments down below! I’d love to hear how others spend the season. 🙂
Y’all know I’m hardcore into pumpkin these days. I just love my orange vegetables and fall produce is chock full of them. Sweet potatoes, acorn squash, pumpkin, butternut squash—I like them all.
Fun fact: at a recent doctor’s appointment, I was told that my skin color looked a bit orange. The doctor asked if I drink a lot of carrot juice. I haven’t had carrot juice in years but I do eat A LOT of orangey fruit and veg. I tried abstaining from beta carotene rich plants for, like, a week and then luteal phase happened. Soooo I’m in squash heaven right now and will get back to human civilization (aka skin color) sometime in the future.
For now, we have pumpkin pasta to enjoy!
Just like my Broccoli and Carrot Pasta with Parlsey-Cilantro Pesto, this pasta recipe is also adaptable. I like using sage or thyme in this recipe but italian seasoning or curry powder would probably taste really good, as well!
I served mine with some fresh salad greens (as shown) but try mixing in 2 handfuls of spinach! The greens wilt slightly from the heat of the pasta and there is definitely enough pumpkin sauce to go around. It’s super creamy without any milk!
As a finishing touch, I like to toast some walnuts to add a bit of a savory crumble to the dish. You could also just sprinkle more nutritional yeast or some hemp seeds to pump up the protein. Whatever spin you take on this, let me know by tagging me on Instagram or leaving a comment down below. I greatly value your feedback 🙂
Recipe time!
Pumpkin Pasta
Recipe Type: Entree
Cuisine: American
Author: Melanie
Prep time:
Cook time:
Total time:
Serves: 1 serving
Ingredients
A 2 or 3 oz serving of pasta
1 ½ cup pumpkin puree
1 tbsp nutritional yeast
¼ tsp onion powder
½ tsp ground sage or thyme
¼ to ½ tsp salt
1 tbsp toasted walnuts, for topping
Instructions
Boil a serving of pasta (2 or 3 oz works) until al dente.
In a bowl, mix up 1/2 cup pumpkin puree, 1 tbsp nutritional yeast, 1/4 tsp onion powder, 1/2 tsp ground sage, and salt (I like a scant 1/2 tsp).
When pasta is cooked, reserve half a cup of water before draining.
In the bowl, or the pot you boiled the pasta, add the pumpkin mixture to the pasta. Add 3-4 tbsp of reserved cooking water to create a saucey texture. And you’re finished!
I like to add toasted walnuts to the top but this pasta also tastes delish with spinach mixed in. Feel free to sprinkle extra nutritional yeast, too 😉
3.5.3228
This recipe is made in participation of the #Banzaplus5 recipe contest on Instagram. See my other entry here.
If you glance into my fridge, you’re almost guaranteed to see a jar of pesto sitting on the top shelf. I’m constantly making new jars of pesto and/or freezing pesto in an ice cube tray. I buy lots of fresh herbs and, when my stock runs high, I’ll toss them into the food processor with some olive oil for pesto. It’s perfect to have on hand for pasta, salads, and more!
I remember when I first started making pesto I thought it could only be made with basil leaves. Boy, has my mind changed. The classic basil pesto is delicious but I am equally enamored by my favorite parsley-cilantro pesto.
Pesto is super versatile in the sense that you can use any greens you have (hey, kale pesto!). Here are just a few things that make a difference for me when making pesto:
An absolute must for me is toasting the nuts. I know it’s an step you might want to be lazy and skip over. Though, whether you buy raw or pre-roasted nuts, toasting them on the skillet before adding to pesto sauce is the ultimate flavor enhancer.
Don’t skip out on the olive oil. A good quality olive oil really MAKES the pesto. Bad olive oil or all water in the pesto are not going to help it enhance your food.
Salt is a must. Taste as you go along but it’s better to have the pesto slightly salty than not enough salt. The pesto gets mixed into the rest of your food so the saltiness won’t stay so concentrated.
Onto the pasta recipe!
Broccoli and Carrot Penne Pasta with Parsley Cilantro Pesto
Recipe Type: Entree
Cuisine: American
Author: Melanie
Prep time:
Cook time:
Total time:
Serves: 1 serving
Ingredients
2 oz of short cut pasta (I used penne)
1 1/2 c chopped broccoli
1/2 c chopped carrot
3 heaping tbsp of homemade pesto (see notes)
Hemp seeds, for topping
Nutritional yeast, for topping
Lemon juice (optional)
Instructions
Boil water and add pasta.
Once cooked, add chopped broccoli and carrots, plus a sprinkle of salt and pepper, and cook for 2 minutes or until tender.
Drain pasta water. Stir in 3 tbsp pesto.
Pour pasta into a bowl and top with a nice sprinkle of hemp seeds, nutritional yeast, and a squeeze of lemon. Enjoy! <img draggable=”false” data-mce-resize=”false” data-mce-placeholder=”1″ data-wp-emoji=”1″ class=”emoji” alt=”💁” src=”https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/2.3/svg/1f481.svg”>
Notes
Cilantro Parlsey Pesto Recipe:[br]2 cups of fresh cilantro and parsley (I do about 1 ½ cups cilantro, ½ cup parsley)[br]½ cup roasted/toasted mixed nuts (I used almonds and cashews)[br]1/3 cup extra virgin olive oil[br]1 tbsp lemon juice[br]2-4 tbsp water, as needed[br]1 small clove of garlic[br]¼-½ tsp salt[br]Black pepper, to taste[br]A small pinch of red pepper flakes[br]Add all ingredients to a food processor and combine until a smooth paste forms. Thin it out with a few extra tablespoons of water or oil as needed.
3.5.3229
This recipe was made as an entry into the #Banzaplus5 recipe contest on Instagram. Feel free to use your favorite pasta!
Pumpkin Spice and everything nice is what makes fall feel like FALL for me. Please, hold the eye roll. Evidently, the internet is all hyped about fall these days but let me tell you: I’ve been a fan of fall before it was trendy. Yes, I went there. Fall holds meaning for me even without the glamorized PSL which may actually have a new flavor competitor around—see here. Basically, winter and spring are almost nonexistent in southern California. And summer? No thank you, 120 degree weather.
My dear fall, you are what I look forward to each year. All I need are some breezy cool days where I can wear my cardigan and scarf and sip on my eat my pumpkin coconut treats. HOORAY!
Throwback moment: my favorite childhood snack was the packaged rice krispy treats. Not even the homemade kind! The rice krispy treats in the blue packaging were perfect because of their balance of sweetness and textures—crunchy yet soft! As you know, I like healthifying sweet treats. So, I put a spin on my fave classic WITHOUT marshmallows for some pumpkin coconut NOT SCARY treat fun. I know, it almost sounds sacrilegious. Still, I think you’ll find that these are sweet and satisfying on their own and healthier than the sugar-laden original.
Also, this recipe is a good use for date puree, or, date caramel as Minimalist Baker calls it. Honestly, date caramel is what sweet dreams are made of and I highly recommend making some. Although, if you want to substitute whole dates, you can try 2 (take out the pits!) and blend them up with the pumpkin and coconut oil until smooth.
I know fall is all about baking but make room in your freezer for this no-bake treat! You can thank me later.
Pumpkin Coconut Treat Bars
Recipe Type: Snacks
Author: Melanie
Prep time:
Cook time:
Total time:
Serves: 8 bars
These Pumpkin Coconut Not Scary Treat Bars are made with ingredients you can recognize. They’re wholesome, satisfying, and no marshmallows are required!
Ingredients
¼ cup pumpkin puree
¼ cup melted coconut oil
2 tbsp almond butter
3 tbsp date caramel
1 tsp cinnamon
½ tsp nutmeg
½ tsp allspice
1/8 tsp salt
2 cups Erewhon cinnamon brown rice cereal or other brown rice cereal
2 tbsp sweetened shredded coconut, plus more for topping
Instructions
First up, grease a loaf pan with coconut oil or line with wax paper so that the bars will be easy to remove.
In a medium bowl, combine the pumpkin, coconut oil, almond butter, date caramel, and spices. Stir in the brown rice cereal and shredded coconut. Adjust to taste by adding a pinch of salt or a sprinkle of granulated sugar, if needed.
Press the mixture into the loaf pan, making sure to fill the corners. Then, place in the freezer for 2 hours to solidify.
Remove from freezer and cut into 8 squares. The bars taste best when stored in the freezer. Just leave them out to thaw for a minute before you are ready to eat one!
Notes
I used sweetened shredded coconut because I ran out of the unsweetened kind. You could definitely use unsweetened shredded coconut and perhaps add a teaspoon of granulated sweetener like coconut or brown sugar to make the bars sweeter. I just don’t recommend coconut flakes because those will be too thick and chunky for the bars.[br]Additionally, “cook time” reflects time in the freezer. This is a no-bake recipe.
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For a personal example, I’m a foodie (definition: a person who enjoys all things food –there I go with the subculture reference :p ) and enjoy hearing about nutrition-related advancements and plant-based culture. Though, most people are not in my same boat and I can’t expect them to want to taste something green when that is unfamiliar to them. Some people are proud of themselves for having just given up drinking soda a few months back. Whenever I’ve heard this I used to think: what?! Who still drinks soda? Don’t you know how bad it is for you? Instead, I’ve become better at reframing my thinking to one of less judgment and of acceptance that everyone is at a different place in their life.
