Sometimes I don’t have words to express how I feel about my existence. I feel like I’ve grown so much in my spirituality in the past two to three years but only now have I begun to dive into the way spirituality impacts me as a soul.
I know spirituality is non-denominational and it is such a general term that there really aren’t rules around what it’s supposed to look like. Of course, leave it to me to always create these ideas in my head about the way things should be.
I’ve shed my ties to material or people outside of myself as being my anchor to my spirituality. I still like my crystals and the new age podcasts that I listen to but I don’t look toward things outside of myself to solve my problems. In doing that, I’ve been able to unwrap what existence really means for me–what would be the most satisfying experience I could have as a human.
We are often told growing up that we need to find our purpose. Therefore, I thought it would be great to share how I’ve changed my views on purpose through the lens of my spirituality. You can check out the video here:
Okay, this isn’t the newest of news but I’ve recently been posting more videos on my YouTube channel. The episodes of the Make It Happen Podcast have always been there to listen to but now we’ll start having more exclusive video content on the channel, as well.
At the moment, there are some videos previously released on IGTV. Personally, I like watching videos on my computer using YouTube more than through Instagram on my phone. I’m all about options and that’s why I also upload any IGTV videos I post over on YouTube!
I’ve already got some longer form video ideas in mind and I would love to explore video editing so go ahead and subscribe so you can keep in the loop about any new videos!
For starters, check out this video on Why The Change You Want Isn’t Happening. I share two common scenarios I often see for why change isn’t sticking.
Personally, I’ve been more of a controlling person in much of my life so the points mentioned in this video are for me as much as for you. Forever on the journey of learning and self-improving!
In many ways, we have forgotten our sense of community.
This was first evident to me when the coronavirus began spreading. Then, as other countries banded together to manage cases, the United States did not act. It bypassed crucial moments to implement preliminary safety measures to prevent the spread here. Even now, many people ignore the basic guidelines and CDC recommendations and cases continue to pop up.
It is irresponsible to hold parties, socialize in person, or go without a face mask. It’s negligent for your own health and safety but downright disrespectful for others. How are we looking out for our fellow citizens if we can’t do our part?
Then, with recent circumstances surrounding the death of George Floyd, it becomes even more evident that we are missing the point. My heart sinks to see that we are still so disconnected from our fellow humans.
Where is our sense of community?
While we are more able than ever before to connect with one another, we are beyond disconnected in the ways that matter.
Community seems to be the missing piece in all of the hardships the country (U.S.) is facing and our ability to overcome them.
We value personal freedom and the opportunities that allow us but who is actually benefiting?
How can anyone say all people are protected when, really, it is one group being protected?
How can we call our country a melting pot of cultures when the groups that add diversity are frequently squashed and disregarded, or misrepresented at best?
For those of us who are in positions of waiting, positions of enduring, and positions to lead, we have the chance, now, to reinvent what it means to have a community. How much longer must we be so disconnected? While we live in a modern age of technology and massive accessibility to tools of communication, we often let pass the chances to use our words in a way that can create an impact.
If you wonder what impact your words can have then ask yourself: what is it that you value? If it is kindness, how can you be that? If it is wealth, how can you spread that? If it is communication, how can you create that? And how can you do that inclusively?
Change doesn’t have to be big or complicated. The grand effects only happen when everyone bands together. For that, everyone has to take part.
In fact, for those who feel stumped about what significance they have in the scope of the larger societal issues at hand, simply leaning into openness can be magical.
Be open to the differences between you and others
Be willing to holding space for the tribulations of others and do not diminish their plight
Be respectful of the issues that affect a person and groups of people which are important even if you are not yet informed
Be proactive to change your mind when beliefs you’ve held are no longer sensible or relevant
In other words, make the effort to listen to others without judgment. It certainly helps to seek education on subjects such as race inequality, appropriation, and subjugation as it pertains to race, ethnicity, or gender minority groups. I know that is a large feat on its own, and doing so will only help us be more equipped to help our fellow humans out in the community, and world, we live in.
At the most grassroots level, if you can open your mind and your heart to the stories and truths that minority groups have been exclaiming for years, then you can be an ally. If you share in the experiences and information, then you can be an upstander. If you can invest in the basic principles of equality for others, then you can help create that reality.
Things don’t get better unless you want them to and can take action to create more of what you want to see. We have the opportunity now to take note of where we are together as a community, and as a country, even if we haven’t always associated ourselves that way. Even if we have made mistakes in the past or did not exercise the kindness and respect that we should have, we can improve. It is time for action.
I’m attaching education resources I found helpful here:
Before we dive in, I want to mention that May is not only Mental Health Awareness Month but also National Arthritis Awareness Month. While mental health is something I am really passionate about now and need to creatively stay on top of it, arthritis is not as big a part of my current story. I am so fortunate to say that because I know that it is a painful, daily reality for many people. I don’t often talk about my own experience with arthritis because, according to my doctor, I outgrew it.
However, I’d be silly if I said that having arthritis did not impact my adolescence and the way I view health. Arthritis is thought of as a physical disease but I don’t see how you can have a physical illness and not also have that affect your overall well-being.
This is my experience with being diagnosed with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis* and how I no longer have it.
Spoiler alert: this isn’t a miracle story, nor do I have any special hacks or medications that I used for overcoming JRA.
Early years
I’ve always been a girl with a lot of energy just seeking ways to let it out. So, like many kids, my favorite outlet was playing outside. Whether that was freeze tag during recess at school, riding my bike, or running through my neighbors’ orchards. Anything and everything was fun to me!
Despite being a fun-loving kid, for as far back as I can remember, my childhood was plagued by knee pain. I’d employ my parents to rub Aspercreme on my knees and wrap them in a fabric gauze to keep them warm. My dad often spent weeknights massaging my knees to help soothe the pain I felt. I wasn’t falling off my bike or doing anything to obviously hurt my knees. So, my parents said it was likely growing pains. Growing pains that lasted for years and years….
The symptoms set in
Around age 11, my sister and I joined gymnastics together. I had been looking forward to this so much but a few months in my knees began to hurt. I had knee pain pretty often but it was always for short periods and a massage or some Aspercreme would alleviate it. Yet, this knee pain felt different and it wouldn’t go away. I considered that maybe I hurt myself in gymnastics and took several weeks off, but my knee pain only worsened.
To put this into perspective, I was wrapping up my final weeks in 6th grade when the pain started to kick up. As the hot days crawled, so did the pain in other parts of my body, too. My skin developed little red blotches, like an allergic reaction. Red, hot (but not itchy) spots covered my legs and thighs, my belly and back, my arms and neck, and face. With every joint inflamed, I felt miserable. I had no energy to see friends, pursue hobbies I used to love like drawing (my hands and wrists hurt), and walking up the stairs in my house felt like a mission. It’s so weird to think of that now but I pretty much spent the majority of that summer between 6th and 7th grade laying on the couch in pain.
I had to ask my mom about this next part because I couldn’t remember when I actually saw the doctor who would change everything. Basically, I had to go through a big run-around with the pediatrician, get bloodwork, then get his referral to other specialists who had their own blood panel to request. Finally, I got referred to the Rady’s Children’s Hospital and met with a few different doctors in white coats. Each were specialists in different fields; each had unique sets of questions for me. My parents were in the room, too, and filled in the blanks for anything I couldn’t piece together.
The specialists asked me questions about my health, habits, behaviors, symptoms, and more. From that discussion alone, it was still a mystery if I had leukemia, lupus, or cat scratch disease. It wasn’t until another specially-requested blood panel that I came out positive for JRA.
The rheumatologist took over from there and the action plan was treatment with medication to get the inflammation and pain under control fast. At this time, I should also mention it was the start of my 7th grade school year. Prior to me even seeing the specialists, I had to endure walking the halls of a new school feeling decrepit, barely able to carry my own weight. My mom had made arrangements with the school to give me a little extra time to get to class in case I had a hard time walking. My backpack was heavier than I could handle so I also had some classroom accommodations made. That way, I didn’t need to carry the giant textbooks to class. I honestly felt so embarrassed even though I had a condition.
I didn’t want to think of myself as sick even though my body was unfamiliar to me and in so much pain.
Treatment hurdles and victories
Despite all this, it didn’t take long for the medication to work it’s magic. If I remember correctly, I was on prescription prednisone (steroids) and high-dose naproxen (pain killer) for several months. After my body stopped feeling like an inflammatory war zone, my doctor introduced me to methotrexate, a DMARD. DMARDs, disease-modifying anti-rheumatic drugs, are basically the non-steroidal answer to arthritis treatment because they help bring down inflammation, pain, and swelling, but also treat the actual arthritis-affected joints by slowing down their deterioration, according to WebMD.
The time I was on steroids seemed like the longest ever–I was in a transitional age and felt like all eyes were on me. I also felt additionally uncomfortable in my own body because I was gaining weight (side effect of the steroids). I was at the highest weight I’ve ever been at that time but at least I wasn’t in pain. So, by the time my body got settled on methotrexate, and I eased off the steroids, the worst was behind me. My pain stayed gone, methotrexate seemed to work without negative side effects. Some days required an extra naproxen pill on top of the methotrexate I took morning and night, but, otherwise, things were pretty smooth sailing.
The coolest part, now that I look back, was watching how I started on 7 little methotrexate pills daily and over the years was able to drop them down bit by bit. A time or two I would work with my doctor to try dropping down the amounts and my body would flair up. It wasn’t until I was a senior in high school, around 2011, that I finally got cleared of JRA.
I had reduced my medication successfully and symptoms no longer persisted.
I am so thankful for the amazing pediatric rheumatologist that I had treating me. He was patient, insightful, and helped me so much. Admittedly, he offered consistent suggestions to do things like pick up a sport or physical activity and that would help my joints all the more. The teen girl in me ignored the advice but, in later time, I’ve seen how implementing exercise helps maintain fluidity in my body, reduce stiffness, and lower inflammation. That being said, there is still one frustrating aspect about western medicine in that I never found out the root cause. Way before I ever got the chronic pain I did in the 6th grade, I was having knee pain most days out of the week. Were those early signs of arthritis? Even my rheumatologist could only say, perhaps.
While I was “in remission”, I was also concerned about symptoms coming back. There is a possibility of individuals who have Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis developing other forms of arthritis as an adult. However, it is also quite possible to not have arthritis symptoms come back at all.
Years after all of that I acquired an interest in health and went on to study nutrition through IIN. Some of the takeaways I got from there made me wonder if diet and lifestyle habits could have influenced my development of JRA. It’s hard to say. Even I especially cannot say that certain things were healthy or unhealthy because that is so individual. Yet, perhaps there are genetic predispositions and certain lifestyle habits will flick on those symptoms like a light switch. All I can do is take the best care of my body that I can now and give thanks for the amazing doctor and treatment options I had available to me at the time.
I only had arthritis for about eight years in my youth but many people of ALL ages suffer from arthritis. I’m awaiting more discoveries in the field of arthritis and hopefully increased research about holistic treatments to help the millions of people dealing with arthritis today.
*While I had arthritis, it was labeled as Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis but in later years the terminology changed to Juvenile Idiopathic Arthritis. I use JRA for consistency and time-relevancy throughout this post.
It’s easier to judge than it is to accept that you want what someone else has. It’s easier to fear something than to admit you’re secretly curious to go learn more and try that thing out for yourself.
We judge other people by what we don’t accept in ourselves.
This may not make sense right away so I’ll give some examples, but first let me talk about repressed aspects of self. We all have different parts of our identity created by interests, people we spend time with, environments, and more. For some of us, these are so unconscious that we naturally slip into one version of ourselves with each changing situation. Others of us are aware of it and we’ll call it “putting on a face” when we have to act a certain way to please an external party. We can be one version of self when we clock in at the office, another version when we meet up for drinks at 6pm, and a different version entirely when we answer a phone call from our mom.
On a surface level, we can all probably imagine how we act a little (or a lot) different in different settings. Some people can be pretty consistently the same person wherever they go but there are always aspects of self that only certain people (or maybe only you) get to see. The different selves, as I call them, are very deeply conditioned by society and upbringing. To know what they are is to be in tune with your subconscious.
A whole and integrated person, without fragmented selves, will see someone else doing something or having something and not feel threatened. What someone else has or does really, truly, does not impact you or take away from you.
A surefire way to tell that you have a separation of identity is when you freak out or get upset when you see someone else disobeying the societal standards.
For example, maybe you dress very conservatively for work even though it’s not your style or you wear shoes that are uncomfortable because they meet the standards of attire. Then, in one day walks your coworker wearing relaxed attire, maybe sneakers instead of dress shoes. What’s your response? If you’re a little ticked off and wondering why they get to wear clothes outside of the dress code policy you’re not the only one.
Some people might fume in silence but the really fired up people might head to the manager’s office and alert them about so-and-so’s clothes. While, yes, technically the person might not be wearing the right attire based on company guidelines but the judgment you’d be imposing has nothing to do with them and everything to do with what you feel. Let me repeat that.
Judgment has nothing to do with another person or thing and has everything to do with what you are feeling.
It can be a number of things brewing beneath the surface that stir up the “threat alert” in your brain (aka is triggered) enough to make you upset or run over to the manager’s office. It could be as straightforward as you hating your uncomfortable shoes and thinking: if I can’t wear sneakers to work, then they shouldn’t be wearing them either! Or, it could be deeper-seated discomfort tied to other things going on.
You’ve probably heard how it’s important to talk about stuff that bothers you because it will just bottle up until you explode. It’s kind of like that. If you’re dissatisfied in any way, those emotions can cloud your views and impact your treatment of other people.
Maybe you haven’t had time for your hobbies or social life so a job or living situation makes you feel creatively castrated. Note: nothing external can make you do anything; triggers only stir up feelings. There isn’t anything necessarily wrong with the job itself (I mean, there could be) but it’s the way you’re looking at it that is dissatisfying. All it takes is a trigger, like the person behaving outside of normative standards, and then you apply your frustration onto it. Will calling out someone else make you feel better? Eh, perhaps for a split second but not long-term at all. After this person or thing, you’ll need to find another situation to get upset about. And yes, find. We have to go out of our way to look for problems.
You can play the blame game and name 100 reasons why someone else is at fault but you’re still the one who is holding onto the judgment that is keeping you out of alignment with yourself.
When you stay focused on yourself and create internal sources of validation, you don’t need to search for it outside. People who are in a good mood have this. Perhaps you also know the feeling: when you’re in such a good mood that nothing anyone says or does can bother you; all else rolls right off your shoulders?
Frustration comes from looking outside and viewing others as having something you don’t have. You judge them for it, imagining that they’re somehow better than you because of certain qualities or situations you see but that’s not the whole picture. Likely, it isn’t even the right picture because you’re making assumptions or projecting beliefs based on your own insecurities.
In my next post I’ll further explain how to unpack these denied aspects of self.
I think there’s two main mindsets that people have during this coronavirus self-quarantine/stay at home situation many of us are in. There is one camp of people who is thinking of themselves (and perhaps their family unit) and another camp that is thinking of others.
It’s understandable and necessary to make sure you have your basic needs met and are doing things to take care of yourself. However, once you feel like you have your grounding, it’s a nice thing to lend a helping hand for your fellow humans.
Let me also say that lending a helping hand isn’t something we do out of obligation but out of good conscience. It feels good to help others. During times like this, the worst is brought out in some people, but there is also tremendous opportunity to lessen the woes and burdens of humanity by showing some compassion and assisting where you can.
If you’ve been wondering how you can make a difference for others during the COVID-19 Self-Quarantine, here are some ideas:
Create a supply basket
If you’ve already loaded up on non-perishables, hygienic supplies, toilet paper, and such, then consider making a basket for an elderly relative, a neighbor, an expecting mama, or any friend who might have trouble getting to the grocery store for supplies. You can drop them off at their doorstep and give them a call right after. Alternatively, you could package up a box and send it to them in the mail if they live further away. Tip: USPS can deliver packing materials to your home free of charge.
Miscellaneous chores
Speaking of helping friends, neighbors, and individuals in need, ask them how you can be of service. Maybe their lawn is getting out of control and you can help mow it. Over half of the population takes medication, often for chronic illness treatment. It’s not the ideal time to be in stores for the immune-compromised individuals so perhaps you can pick up prescription medications for them.
Support small/local business
Tons of businesses are affected by the current situation. Small and local businesses, in particular, are suffering. Many small businesses rely on their physical shop, community events, or pop-up carts to sell products. Some have turned to online selling, whether through their own website or Etsy, as a means to get by. If neither is available, reach out to those businesses and see if they can ship items to you in the mail. You could Paypal or Zelle them so they get paid and you get your products.
Construct face masks
We all know, or can imagine, that healthcare service-providers are being impacted the most as doctor’s offices, hospitals, clinics, and more are flooded with increasing numbers of people showing symptoms of COVID-19. Whether their cases are severe or not, healthcare workers are at risk all day long! There is a shortage of face masks in the country. Part of that is because the public has been buying up these medical-grade masks, which takes from the medical suppliers, and, thus, healthcare workers, who really need them.
The CDC has information on a couple of ways you can make your face mask at home. Civilians: please use these when leaving your home or interacting with others. If you have the means to, you could also make extra and donate them to a local hospital. Healthcare workers can use the DIY face masks as a coverage for their limited-supply medical-grade ones so that they can keep reusing them.
Share your services
Are you self-employed or do you hold learned skills of any kind? People are still interested in consuming your services but you’re in a unique position to stick with what you’ve been doing or adapt to the current climate. Many individuals/businesses are offering free workshops, webinars, and e-books in any topic you can think of. Free or discounted services are especially helpful for laid off or displaced workers and their families.
Services can also be in the form of entertainment. I’ve seen authors creating short stories to post on their website for free, YouTubers creating more frequent/daily videos or vlogs to keep people educated/entertained, musicians offering charity donations from proceeds of their pay-what-you-can downloaded music, and yoga teachers filming meditations and flows to help their community, since in-person classes aren’t an option right now. Think of what skills you have and how you can share those online at low or no-cost for others.
Adopt a pet
You might be thinking: isn’t this a list of how to help other people? Yes, it is, but helping animals also helps people! Think of it: those who are running or volunteering at animal shelters still have to tend to the shelter animals daily. It might be difficult for them to obtain the amount of volunteers necessary (always but especially now) to keep things running. You can also do a search on Facebook, Craigslist, or any website for local-to-you news and see if anyone has pets for adoption. If you can adopt an animal, that helps lighten the load on shelters or people with more pets than they can comfortably manage. Plus, you end up with a furry friend to care for and keep you company while staying home!
When it comes down to the basics, people might be well-covered but it’s the staying home part that can eat away at our sanity. We can go a little stir-crazy and miss some face to face interaction. A simple but amazing way to help others is by reaching out and offering your listening ears. Sometimes there are physical things you can do to help like some of the things on this list! Yet, other times people may just want to vent, decompress, or chat about something other than the coronavirus. It’s nice to chat and rekindle friendships that we may not have had time for in a while. Reconnect through any of the fabulous video chatting apps we have nowadays or via a phone call.
Don’t forget to celebrate!
You might be reading this and thinking: celebrate WHAT?! Nothing good is happening!! With all due respect, there is still a lot of good happening on a daily basis, even in times like these. Just as it is important to reach out to your friends and family to see how they are doing, reach out to acknowledge their special moments. Many people feel bummed to have to celebrate birthdays, anniversaries, or other occasions at home. Celebrate the moments with those you know and be proud of the accomplishments of those you don’t know, like the kind-spirits featured on John Krasinski’s Some Good News YouTube Channel!
How is this list for feasible and helpful things you can do right now? In what way do you plan to help? If you have other ideas or tips to offer assistance during coronavirus self-quarantine then feel free to leave those in the comments below.
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