I have long been interested in personal development as a concept and as a practice for my own self-betterment. Yet, it wasn’t until recently how much I really enjoyed seeing other people’s growth and realizations about themselves in film. There’s something really amazing to me when I can watch a character’s journey and self-development as it is captured on film–particularly in a coming-of-age film!
Most people don’t experience dramatic changes all of a sudden but film allows you to follow a character over a period of time as they face a challenge, learn through an experience, or get involved in something new which completely shifts the way they are as a person. That beautiful growth, I feel, is so wonderfully captured in coming-of-age films in ways unrivaled by other genres of film.
As a quick sidenote: I am frequently using the word “film” here as opposed to movies, largely because I believe films to be more representative of an artwork made with intention (that may or may not be entertaining). Movies, on the other hand, strive for entertainment but may not always be accompanied by the artistic lens and intentional approach that films are keen on. I won’t ramble on about this but I think Robert Hardy describes it well here if you’re curious about the difference between films and movies.
To get back on point, I have always been drawn toward coming-of-age films are realized only recently that they often depict characters in struggles of self-acceptance, insecurities,friendships and relationships, exploring independence and cultivating valuesbetter representative of who they are now. Something I like to say is that these are movies about life.
So, if you, too, enjoy coming-of-age movies or if you’re curious to explore them, then keep reading.
Coming-of-Age Films You Should See
The Art of Getting By
What’s amazing about this film, besides the New York City setting, is the ease of which the main character goes about his life. George has his own schema based on what he knows and, as he is about to graduate high school, he’s been sliding by without really trying. It’s not until he meets Sally that he gets exposed to ideas, situations, and complications of the real world outside of his own.
On the surface, this story follows Elio as he blossoms into his own sensuality and sexual awakening upon meeting the older Oliver, a grad student staying with his family in Italy. In some ways, the romance between Elio and Oliver is a bit predatory but the genuineness of being young and falling in love is also beautifully shown here.
The Spectacular Now
Life seems to be all rainbows for the main character, Sutter, who has no thought about the future and only about living in the moment. It isn’t until he meets Aimee, who is different from the girls he’s known before, that his unpierceable veil of having it all together quickly crumbles. It definitely isn’t the healthiest portrayal of a relationship but there’s also room for a variety of relationships in coming-of-age films.
It’s Kind of a Funny Story
A suicidal teen checks himself into a psych ward and meets a few wacky but entirely normal friends. Through the characters, the story depicts how everyone has their own thing going on but rather than feel messed up because of the way he feels, his challenge is to come to acceptance and understanding of his own, and everyone else’s, unique quirks and stories.
Laggies
When Megan is faced with a proposal from her boyfriend, she runs away unsure of how to handle the situation. She befriends the much younger Annika and who Megan easily connects with because of her own adolescent tendencies. Megan is so used to living like a child without responsibility but, through Annika, she learns to step into her age and herself.
Like many of the films on this list, The Perks of Being a Wallflower is based on a book however, I much prefer the film adaptation of this one. While the book reads like a series of letters, the film catalogs Charlie’s reemergence into friendships, love, and even himself so vividly. Despite the trauma of his childhood, Charlie discovers who he is and his infinite value with the help of two good friends which is what makes this 90s era film eternally relatable.
Paper Towns
Another book that’s much better as a film adaptation, in my opinion. Paper Towns the book felt like a story where nothing really happens but the film highlights friendship in a beautiful way. A group of teens soon to graduate from high school get together in search of their friend Margo who has suddenly disappeared. What they thought they’d find and what they actually do find are each their own.
The Age of Seventeen
Nadine feels like her life is thrown upside-down when her best friend begins dating her older brother. While the betrayal stings, Nadine struggles to find ways to open up to the people around her. She seeks validation from adults and boys in the hopes of feeling like she is important too. The Age of Seventeen is a depiction of learning to use your words and give yourself what you crave instead of seeking ways to fill a void.
“Ladybird” feels beyond her high school life and helicopter parents and strives to live the life she dreams of. She all too quickly abandons her best friend and her true interests to pursue the grown up life she thinks she should have. Through the avant-garde main character, we see that you need not look outside yourself for who you are.
St. Elmo’s Fire
Different from most of the films on this list, St. Elmo’s Fire is coming-of-age film showcasing life right after college (instead of high school) for a group of friends as they navigate romantic relationships, beginning careers, and their sense of self, and the bond of friendship now as adults.
The Graduate
Easily the oldest one on this list, the classic film depicts the in-between time right after college when young adults consider what’s ahead. The track is often laid out for them: go to school, get a job, and get married. If that is what’s pushed on everyone, it brings into question what is actually going to make you happy.
Told through the eyes of a teenage journalist and music fan, William is on assignment from Rolling Stone magazine to cover an up-and-coming band’s tour. On the road, he is exposed to the dynamics between bandmates and their fans, where the line is between being a journalist and taking part in what’s happening around him as a human and friend, and the overall complexities of relationships.
Notable Mentions
Holes
I saw Holes repeatedly when I was younger and it isn’t until watching it with adult eyes that I noticed the troubled cases that led the characters to arrive together. The story touches on the value of friendship, the impact of violence and history, and the detrimental way that one moment can change everything.
Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
Is there a truer depiction of friendship than four best friends who use letters and a pair of jeans to keep them connected over the course of a summer? Each of the friends has their own unique adventure and story about growth, experiences, and love.
If I Stay
When a talented young violinist gets into a car accident with her family, she stands precariously between life and death as she reconsiders the life she has been living and if it is worthwhile to carry on. While I thoroughly enjoyed the book more, the film portrays the way family and friends can create such a supportive system to allow the young main character to trust herself and what she wants.
The thing that stands out about Say Anything is the maturity and pure relationship between the main characters. While it’s a rom-com by genre, it captures two teenagers right out of high school with their own established goals and self-identity. They think they have it all together, and for a moment they do, but each of them bring out areas and qualities in each other’s lives in a way some adult relationships in film may never even show.
The Breakfast Club
It might seem overplayed when millennial culture revisited The Breakfast Club but this movie is pretty quintessential high school. Teens from different cliques all connect through one Saturday detention at school. It definitely illuminates how, no matter their social circle, everyone has their own struggles and insecurities.
Pretty in Pink
As a teenager, this was my personal favorite 80s movie so it deserves a place on this list. Andie is a poor girl, not part of the in-crowd in high school, which is all she craves. Her best friend sees her for who she is despite her striving to be more and fit in with the cool crowd. Financial privilege, popularity, and impactful relationships are what make this a stand out film.
You can find the coming-of-age trope in many films of olden times and now. Everything from The Outsiders to Scott Pilgrim vs. The World alludes to the issues teens and young adults face while growing up. It’s a fascinating and relatable time, however it shows up in film, so it never gets old for me.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this list of my favorite coming-of-age films! Do you see the personal development and self-growth aspects that I’m fond of? What are your favorite coming-of-age films? Do share in the comments!
Xo Melanie
P.S. Check out my other favorite movie list inspired by the Fall Feels here.
This year hasn’t been a total bust! I know the internet has been “cancelling 2020” since March but I want to share some things that have made this year great–a best of 2020 list! I’ve taken much of this stay-at-home this time to find what brings me happiness. A lot of that has me turning to simple things like going outside or incorporating a slower pace to my days. Things like leisure and peace were hard for me to come by but since creating that, I’ve been more apt to enjoy everything in a fuller way than I thought possible.
So, today I’d like to highlight some things that have made my 2020 a little better. Everything is broken into categories that span from podcasts to movies to products I’ve loved and much more!
Mel Makes It Happen Best of 2020 List
PODCASTS
Hormone Harmony: The End of PMS, Cramps, Infertility, and Cycle Syncing with Alissa Vitti
This is the best ever way I’ve heard fertility and female-centric information delivered with relevance to male and female listeners. Luke Story’s Life Stylist Podcast delivers hard facts and approachable information so everyone can learn something here!
How This Virus is Happening FOR Us, Not TO Us + The Connection Between Virus & Lyme
When the pandemic first started, I heard this episode from The Balanced Blonde // Soul On Fire podcast and it resonated immediately. If you still struggle to understand why we are experiencing everything coronavirus/pandemic-related then this episode offers a different perspective.
Joy. Want More? Listen Now! With Shannon Kaiser
While actually from late 2019, I listened to this episode this year. The Party in My Plants Podcast is thoroughly entertaining and information-filled and this episode was one that stood out to me. It is full of super amazing tips on how to live authentically, happily, and from a place of alignment with your wants and goals.
TMJ, Jaw Pain, Substance P: The Missing Link in Dentistry with Dr. Dwight Jennings
I know I’m not the only one who suffers from TMJ issues and jaw pain. I recently heard an episode of Luke Story’s Life Stylist Podcast with a dentist who specializes in addressing the inflammatory component that headaches, TMJ symptoms, forward head posture, tinnitus, earaches, and increased susceptibility to Lyme and other viruses. If any of these apply to you, then you’ve got to check out the episode!!
Cancel Culture, Empathy, Understanding, and Forgiveness with Creative Activist Dom Roberts
One of the best episodes I heard during the Black Lives Matter Movement during the summer, Dom Roberts brings the material to an approachable place on The Skinny Confidential Him and Her Show.
The Quarter Life Crisis
Fellow Millennials, you’re probably at this place or have experienced what feels like an early mid-life crisis. Why does this happen? The Goop Podcast breaks it down.
Make It Happen Podcast S2 E2
Living A Bigger, Fuller Life Beyond Diet Culture with Mélanie Le Blanc Sturgeon
Yes, I’m including one of my Make It Happen Podcast episodes as a favorite from 2020! This conversation changed so much for me. We are all bombarded with diet culture in our society and this episode strips away the food rules and explains the freedom of coming back to our version of true health.
MOVIES / SHOWS
Chasing Happiness (Amazon)
I know I wasn’t the only one who was crushed to hear the Jonas Brothers broke up back in 2013. This documentary was SO enlightening as to the many elements at play leading up to that point and how they’ve reconnected. They are brothers first and that heart is so well-captured in this film.
The 2019 remake of the original story puts a new spin on the characters and adds a modern freshness to Laurie and Jo, played by Timothee Chalamet and Saoirse Ronan.
Same title? Yes, I know! But this mini series was so good and it is probably a better place to start if you’re new to the Little Women story as it is the most comprehensive adaptation. The pacing of this version feels heartwarmingly true to the novel.
This rendition of the classic story really dives into the details of the characters’ lives, their years-long hardships, and the themes of love and redemption in depth. I was crying alongside the characters and felt so attached after finishing the 6 episode mini series. I say that’s a sign of a well-made show.
A super-approachable dive into the environmental issues affecting countries around the world and how they’re working to resolve them through sustainability. It divides screen time between chats with grassroots organizations and locals and also provides an Anthony Bourdain-esque look at some unique entertainment spots around the city.
13 Reasons Why (Netflix)
Season 4 wrapped up the end of the gripping teen series based off of the book 13 Reasons Why. I have loved seeing the emotional development of the characters and a depiction of how processing trauma looks different for everyone. Many times shows depict characters playing out the same mistakes over and over again but I think the writing on this show is spectacular and makes it worth seeing if you haven’t yet!
Emily in Paris (Netflix)
Fresh, funny, and fabulous is the best way I can describe this show. I’m here for anything Lily Collins stars in and she shines vibrantly with her unique style and flair as a marketing expert hired to bring an American perspective to a Parisian company.
Never Have I Ever (Netflix)
While I’m not a Hindi teen, I think this show tugs at those memories from teenage years enough to make the show new and different but also majorly funny and relatable! It’s been my favorite comedy that I’ve seen in a long time!
YOUTUBE CHANNELS
Qigong with Ksney
I got introduced to qigong this year and it’s also been a big help with balancing my energy levels. It’s like the chinese form of yoga but much gentler and approachable for most any body!
Maddie creates a variety of workout videos on YouTube from strength training to ballet to low impact and body part-specific workouts. I love her dance workouts! They’ve saved me from being bored at home during 2019!
I particularly love her lymphatic drainage massage videos! Lymph drainage helps with depuffing and skin toning and watching a tutorial is perfect guidance for newbies like me!
Pitched as chats about creating comfort in our minds, bodies, and souls, Kayln Nicholson introduces ideas we may not have heard of in the realm of health, wellness, and spirituality in a thorough and fascinating way.
I don’t know about you but I’ve been ordering more groceries online the past several months. I started using instacart and I’m hooked on how efficient it is. I like that you can order from several stores all at once and get your items delivered on the same day or on the scheduled day of your choosing. Try it here or use my code to get free delivery on your first order: MMORENO8CBE16E.
Mercari
It’s easy to be a consumer these days and not think about what happens to items after they are purchased, but so much of what we buy can be reused! Mercari is a place to sell and buy new and/or used items to anyone throughout the United States. It works similarly to eBay but there’s a lot more seller and buyer protection here–plus, listings are easier to navigate. I’ve bought everything from workout gear to a set of books and more! Sign up with my link and get $10 to spend on your first purchase.
Depop
While mostly a place for reselling new and used clothes, Depop gives a life to secondhand items that would otherwise end up overflowing thrift stores or landfills. I love being able to shop for unique, vintage, or specific-style pieces that are not available where I live. Whether you’re buying or selling, you’re sure to find something that meets your taste on Depop.
Rakuten
Shopping online more than ever before? Yeah, me too. Rakuten offers frequent deals at a variety of merchants online and in-store. You can get cash back from shopping at places you’re already going to shop at. Whether I’m grabbing Target essentials or organizing a PetCo order (for Millie), there’s most always a chance to earn cash back. Rates begin at 1% of your purchase and at times can be as high as 15% of your order. The money then gets deposited into your PayPal account. I kind of prefer the desktop browser plug-in but you can also use Rakuten on a mobile device with their app. Sign up with my link and get a $10 reward bonus.
Honey
Again, if you’re ever online shopping you’ve seen that little box on the checkout page that allows you to add a promo code. Honey basically saves you time and scopes out deals and codes so you don’t have to. Consider it your automatic coupon assistant! Try it out here.
Every ted talk is a good one. I mean, the individuals were asked to be speakers for a reason, right? However, here are some that I saw this year which stood out to me.
I get super interested in people to the point where I’ll want to read their books, listen to their podcasts, watch their interviews, and just soak in all of their radiance. I’m not always quite so enamored by people but there have been a few that I’ve found to be expansive for me as a person this year.
Timothée Chalamet
After I saw Little Women I had a moment where I was doing just as I said above and diving deep into his previous interviews and revisiting his small array of films. I think what I find most inspiring about him as a person is his passion for the craft of acting. He respects those who have come before him and seeks learning and self-betterment. From his interviews, he seems quite humble about his own talents and keeps his ego in check so as to not take any success that he has received for granted. That sort of approach doesn’t resonate with everyone but I enjoy seeing the steadfast dedication he has as an actor and I’ve been dancing with how I can be more invested in the value of the work I am doing than how others perceive me.
photo from Netflix
Hasan Minhaj
I feel like the sky is the coolest person on the planet but she doesn’t attempt to know it all. His Netflix series, Patriot Act (definitely a favorite, too!!!) brought light to many issues affecting our political atmosphere. Many times these were issues not just affecting the United States but the world as a whole. It’s so easy now with the internet to provide a hot take that is under researched and more opinion than fact. Hasan spends time trying to gather the facts and he has a way of thoroughly presenting those to a lay audience (which is most people, to be honest) with relatability through humor.
My takeaway inspiration has to do with being willing to learn and investigate where no one else is willing to do that “hard work” because you know there is value in it. So, once you know what’s important, you convey that to an audience that probably hasn’t done the research themselves but now has a foundation of information that they can use to make better decisions for themselves and their communities.
Here’s a super cool video where he shares how he got to where he is and offers advice on figuring out your unique talents:
I’m a big fan of all things relationships and love hearing about ways to create more real and fulfilling relationships. His podcast is full of those juicy, woke nuggets and you can also catch him on Instagram @createthelove. I’ve been inspired by what he shares because it’s very much rooted in doing the work on yourself so that you can go into relationships with your authentic wants and things to offer the relationship.
FOOD
Vegan Buckwheat Pumpkin Pancakes Recipe
I discovered the magical abilities of buckwheat flour this year, which is entirely gluten-free, and it resembles traditional flour nicely in baked goods. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve remade these pumpkin pancakes but they’re definitely a favorite from this year!
I started eating white potatoes more regularly this year. It’s been interesting to find ways to eat them that aren’t covered in butter and cheese (things I don’t eat and things that don’t make me feel good). I usually slice and soak my potatoes in water for a few hours before rinsing them and cooking. The spice blend and oven roasted nature of this fries recipe in particular is so tasty for me!
Store-bought veggie burgers are kind of a treat item for me. I like to have them on hand for quick meals but these don’t taste boring to me. The texture inside is soft but the outside is nicely firm, especially when cooked on a cast-iron skillet. I like serving them with sautéed carrots and cabbage or over a big salad with hummus. I get Dr. Praeger’s burgers at Vons but there’s a store locator on their website for other places you can find them.
I’ve tried taking CBD for anxiety and stress but that doesn’t hold a torch to this cinnamon tea! I love tea and I feel significantly calmer after drinking a cup. I’m hooked!
I don’t know how many times I made this recipe but it doesn’t even matter. These bars have been the best for an easy and filling breakfast. It might seem “wild” to use tahini in baked goods but I assure you these are delicious. Sometimes I’ll throw blueberries in instead of chocolate chips but they always come out delicious.
I talk about this product in my TMJ tips and tools post. It’s a completely invasive oil that helps bring relaxation to the jaw muscles that I’ve found to be quite helpful!
The bonus calming blend of adaptogenic herbs makes this probiotic a standout compared to the probiotics occupying shelves everywhere. Plus with it being organic, it has my stamp of approval!
Someone recommended this pillow to me because I’ve had long-standing issues with neck pain. I can say that very quickly upon switching to this pillow, my neck pain is pretty much all gone! I am a back sleeper with a tendency to turn to the side and this pillow provides the perfect support for me. I do also like that Cushion Lab uses certified CertiPUR memory foam and organic cotton pillowcase coverings. I recommend it if the above sounds like you!
I’ve opted for a minimal or no make up look for the majority of this year but this concealer is powerful. A little bit under my eyes makes me look wide awake! I’m also happy to mention this one because it is a vegan-friendly, cruelty-free, and this concealer comes in a wide array of shades!
Topical CBD is usually available as a balm or salve which is okay…but I like this non-greasy formula! It’s very strong so it’s best to apply and wait a few minutes before going wild with the roll-on. It’s deep penetrating formula is meant for pain relief so you can feel the effects within minutes.
Okay, fellow females, if you aren’t using a menstrual cup then you need to try it! I was tired of throwing so much plastic and material into the wastebasket each time I was on my period. Not to mention the upkeep of having to buy pads or tampons. The cup took some figuring out at first (accidentally pinching myself a couple of times, too) but if I could figure it out, I’m confident you can, too! I feel so much cleaner on my period with my cup and that makes a big difference in the way I feel about myself on my period, too.
I’ve been using the Raw Sugar mango + coconut lip balm for a while now but this year I tried the lemon sugar version just for fun and WOW, I’m in love. It’s not overly lemony or overly scented in any way at all. Subtle, sweet, and nicely moisturizing. I like all the Raw Sugar balms but this one is my new go-to. I used to get it at Target but the Lemon Sugar variety can be a little hard to find so I’ll link to it on Amazon. However, check your local CVS or drug store and you could probably find it for less there.
There’s been so much that I’ve learned and enjoyed this year that cannot be linked to and, yet, is still important.
Nature
It has been the one thing that has helped me feel a sense of grounding through the heaviness and out of control state that the world has been in. Nature isn’t a trend or a hobby, it is a necessary part of my health and well-being. Spending even just a few minutes outside on a daily basis makes a difference for me!
Millie the Dutch rabbit
Millie
My little fair-bunny-turned-house-rabbit has been my side kick through it all this year. She’s a high-maintenance little character at times but she’s helped me learn to love again and find softness in myself, as well as just smile more! That is priceless.
Twice-a-day meditation
I originally learned to meditate through a program called Ziva Meditation but I’ve taken what I learned and made it my own. It advocates for 2 daily meditations, each 15 minutes in length. The time aspect was driving me nuts so I don’t abide by a strict amount of time now. Often 20 minutes feels like a good amount for me in the morning, but I often like to sit for longer in the afternoons. I feel much more clear, stable, and revived after meditating. It’s also my time for introspection and connecting with my inner self. A lot happens during these meditations and the benefits make the time allocation worth it for me.
Thanks for reading my Best of 2020 wrap-up post! There truly is a lot that I appreciate and have grown to love this year. Anyone who knows me knows I’m also not a fan of picking favorites so I feel pretty proud of myself for summing up the year with some standout things, as shown on this list. I hope I’ve given you some things that you’d like to try for yourself or simply entertain you for a little bit.
xoxo,
Melanie
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If you’d like to share, what’s on your best of 2020 list? You know I’d love to hear!
Wishing you a 2021 filled with joy and much to love!
I’m ever-curious to test out different techniques and tinker with aspects of my lifestyle to improve my health. Most recently, I’ve been trying to bring inflammation levels down and improve my digestion. I am rather prone to stress and the littlest things raise my cortisol levels. So, I felt like I needed to take things up a notch and bring a better balance to the way I’ve been eating. Thus, I decided to give The Balanced Blonde’s, aka Jordan Younger’s, Plant Based Recipe Book and 22 Day Detox a try.
Today’s post is a review of The Balanced Blonde’s Plant Based Recipe E-book and my experience with the 22 Day Detox.
The e-book is a compilation of SOS-free, plant-based, vegan-friendly recipes that have helped her in her healing journey from Lyme Disease and a whole host of various symptoms like: inflammation, eczema, acne, bloating, IBS, and so forth. The recipes are so simple that it is almost a little silly calling some of the recipes “recipes” but when you’ve over-complicated the way you think you should be eating, recipes for easy meals are very fitting.
Just to give you all a little more information on the e-book, Jordan includes her tips for detoxing from chronic infections both food and non-food related, offers suggestions for dealing with detox symptoms, anecdotes about her experiences with spiritual healing and emotional eating, tips for dining out, and food-combining. Oh, and of course, explanations on SOS-free which stands for Salt, Oil, and Sugar-Free. So, the recipes in her e-book are all salt-oil-sugar-free and are adaptable for food combining.
All Vegan Mac & Cheese (with chopped broccoli) from Jordan Younger’s Plant Based Ebook.
Disclaimer: I am a huge fan of The Balanced Blonde and her Soul on Fire Podcast. I adore Jordan and relate to her in many different ways so this post is not a personal attack on her but a review of the plant based e-book and 22 day detox for anyone who may have heard of it or be interested in purchasing it and wants to know a little more.
If this is your first time here on my blog, let me give you a little background info about me:
It’s important to note that I’ve had disordered eating tendencies in the past so I hesitated before buying her e-book. I’m already primarily plant-based but do include some processed/packaged food items like protein bars, dairy-free store-bought cheese, tortilla chips, and kombucha. I knew those items needed to go but what seemed really intense was the thought of cutting out salt and oil. I have done sugar detoxes in the past and like to do them at least once a year to re-calibrate my taste buds. I know I have sensitive blood sugar levels and that makes my heart go from calm to racing from one moment to the next. This is just a physical representation of what is happening in my body–i.e. my cortisol levels levels spike. Basically, sugar is already limited in my diet because it has to be so I can minimize experiences like what I just described. I do however use a lot of pink Himalayan sea salt and cook with coconut/avocado/olive oil fairly often. So, I sought out Jordan’s book with optimism that a more plant-centric way of eating would help alleviate my concerns mentioned earlier.
My experience with the 22 Day Detox program part of the e-book:
I tried to follow Jordan’s advice for 22 days of SOS-free, properly combined, plant-based meals. During the first few days, I missed the salt for sure! I missed a drizzle of olive oil over my salads, and the taste of roasted vegetables just wasn’t quite the same without either of the two. By day 4, I’d say the worst was behind me and my taste buds were adapting. I was also committed so I found creative ways to make food tasty for me–usually that involved lots of lemon juice!
I felt like my digestion improved pretty soon after starting this way of eating. I liked the way each of her recipes used a LOT of plants so I was really loading up on the good stuff here. My appetite fluctuated before based on what I’d eat but Jordan’s method of structuring meals light to heavy seemed to work well…for a while.
A swiss chard leaf wrap with tofu, cabbage, romaine, tomato, avocado, cilantro, carrot, and a coconut aminos-lemon dressing. Not in the e-book but very inspired by the plant-forward recipes!
I enjoyed starting my day with fruit or a smoothie, like she does, but I can’t handle the amount of bananas or fruit she eats. I get brain fog an hour or two after eating too much sugar. Even if it’s natural from fruit, it just feels like too much for my system all at once. I love fruit but each day I felt like I was riding off of sugar until lunchtime rolled around so that wasn’t fun. I was also making her SOS-free desserts at first before I realized this was WAY too much sugar for me in a day so I cut those out.
Jordan says that once you get into a flow with SOS-free food, you’re not driven by cravings and it is easy to make no-fuss simple meals to eat for nourishment. I can see that but I also started to dread meal times. I felt bored with steamed broccoli and sweet potato over salad and just wanted to eat to fuel myself and be over with it. In some ways, this was great because it was breaking my emotional attachment to food.
What threw a wrench in my plans was the salt cravings that stirred up around Day 13. I got serious cravings for some salty tortilla chips and I tried to just eat my regular SOS-free meal but the craving would not go away. The next day, the craving for something salty persisted: chips, crackers, even some carbonated water would have been great at this time! On Day 15 I woke up feeling dehydrated and not even wanting to eat breakfast because of how drying food would feel in my mouth. It is on this same day that I write this review, after having enjoyed some Simple Mills sea salt crackers (PRAISE up that I had these in my pantry)! Now that I think of it, I was also feeling incredibly lethargic on the 13th and had trouble concentrating and that just continued all these days. I felt weak and super deprived and, knowing my past, I didn’t want to force myself to stick with something and disregard my best interest. In case you’re thinking something else could’ve been to blame for my low energy, that is possible but the dehydration was a dead giveaway that I needed something more so I decided to honor my body.
I’ll describe my takeaways at the end of this post but now I’ll review the e-book itself:
The anecdotal part of her e-book is very nice to read and her stories shine right off the pages. But this is a recipe book, so that’s what everyone is curious about, right? From the get-go, Jordan advocates for SOS-free, plant-based, and food combining as much as possible. I won’t dive into the details about what each of those terms means in this post, but I found some of the recipes conflicting in the food-combining aspect and deceiving in the SOS-free aspect.
TBB Go-To Everyday Salad, followed by her All Vegan Mac & Cheese.
From a purely critical standpoint, she uses a lot of nuts/seeds (cashews and tahini in particular) in almost every recipe. The nut-based dressings and dips technically do not combine with starches yet she pairs them with potatoes, legumes, or gluten-free pastas. There are also some smoothies that call for coconut milk in combination with fruit (which is meant to be eaten alone per food combining principles). You can be as strict with this as you want, of course, but I think this should be more consistent.
The SOS-free aspect also surprised me because a recipe or two calls for some special Bio-Salt and ingredients like salt-free mustard. Sorry, but these aren’t really accessible for the average person. (I tried searching online and couldn’t even find a salt-free mustard anywhere). For anyone who thinks oil and fat are the same thing, they are not. The recipes in the e-book do involve nuts, seeds, and avocado which are all delicious, and whole food forms of plant-based fats. I think they are used a little excessively, as I mentioned earlier. Lastly, the sugar-free aspect. Jordan explains that sugar-free does not mean no sugar at all. She believes natural sweetness from fruit is perfectly fine. Though, she makes a number of recipes that call for the addition of maple syrup and, to me, that’s an added sweetener.
The desserts are meant to be sweet, but they are mostly raw and very date and nut-heavy. I did forget to mention that aspect earlier–many of the recipes are raw. I’d say over half of the recipes in the cookbook are raw or involve raw, uncooked ingredients. This isn’t bad but it might take some getting used to if you are used to cooked foods. I feel like I haven’t shown the most positive experience but I do want to mention some recipes that I think are pretty stellar in her cookbook!
Iconic Green Warrior Smoothie
The Balanced Blonde Go-To Everyday Salad
Buddha Bowl
SOS-Free Pad Thai
I can recognize that all of the recipes in her book are ones she has felt good eating but they don’t always align with the food combining principles that she touts in the guidelines. The same with the SOS-free guidelines. I think my needs are specific and did not align quite as well with the recipes Jordan enjoys but for someone who is coming off of a Standard American Diet, transitioning off of processed food, or simply looking to eat more whole, plant-based foods, this recipe book would be great for you.
Jordans SOS-free Pad Thai with tofu on top.
This was an interesting challenge for myself and made me conscious of how much salt and oil, in particular, I use on a daily basis in my food. I feel I can eat many of the same planty meals salt-free and oil-free with ease. Yet, the inflammation aspect that I sought to alleviate with this way of eating did not change. Understandably, I only went 2 weeks instead of the full 22 days but I already ate a very plant-filled diet so I don’t think that changed much. What I do notice a difference in is how I don’t need as much oil as I thought I did. My body feels lighter and less congested without the oil so, moving forward, I’ll seek to keep oil to a minimum. When I did follow food combining principles, that also helped my digestion out so much. It’s hard to stick with (I’ve tried it before) but this detox reminded me how good my stomach feels when I don’t bombard it with tons of food groups.
Major praise to Jordan for putting out the e-book to do her part in helping people align them with their healthiest selves in the best way she knows how. I believe in the power of plants but there are also different ways to incorporate them for everybody so I hope this post proves informative and encourages you to find what works for you. If you want to share your thoughts, feel free to sound off in the comments below!
Less than two months ago I was dealing with a unique form of pain that was beginning to really inhibit my daily life. The pain was inescapable because it was on my face: along my jaw, sides of my cheeks, and stretching down into my neck and upper back. Now, this did not develop overnight but over the past year it has gradually been getting worse. I’m all about working on my body and my health by myself but this was a situation that I felt outside help was necessary.
TMJ & clenching my jaw
Let me backtrack a little and say that I believe the pain in my face started after I got my wisdom teeth removed. I did not have any complications post-procedure but I did notice the mobility of my jaw just felt different. So, I hit up my dentist to get a professional opinion. My dentist quickly shut down the idea that there could be any possible link between my wisdom teeth removal and the pain I had in my face.
I take a holistic approach with everything regarding my body and I knowit is all connected. He said I was grinding my teeth and that is why I had the tension build-up in my face. My dentist “diagnosed me” with a TMJ issue, which stands for Temporomandibular joint Syndrome. I was given a referral to a specialist 4 hours away from me but the idea of getting a retainer or physical therapy for my face did not seem appealing. I don’t want to discredit anything TMJ specialists can do but I had literally been doing at least 2 facial massage + mobility exercises a day, jade-rolling, and rubbing various high-potency essential oils on my face for months to no avail. So the issue felt deeper-rooted.
I was at a place where my face felt stiff and swollen 24/7 and simply smiling was downright uncomfortable and painful.
Given the likelihood that I had begun grinding my teeth after my wisdom teeth surgery, I began to work on releasing my jaw. I tend to clench my jaw, fists, and toes when under stress. So, that did certainly make a difference in my jaw but that would only be helpful going forward…there was still the pain that had previously formed which needed to be addressed—pain that can only be described as a constant, bothersome, tension that was deeply embedded in my body. No amount of foam rolling, stretching, and self-massages could release it.
I had been curious to try acupuncture for a while but I have always tried to cure my body on my own. Plus, I inquired about the pricing per session and my insurance was not going to cover it. I’d have to pay full price. So I sat on the idea, wondering if I could find someone else…meanwhile researching on Google how acupuncture has been used to treat TMJ.
The tipping point.
I was already living with constant swelling, a distinct heat and redness on my face, and a “tugging” feeling on the muscle down the side of my jaw. Yet, it wasn’t until I was eating dinner one day where I could hear my jaw making a clicking/popping sound. My family turned their heads in surprise. I did a few jaw exercises to see if that would help but it felt like the bones where my neck meets my jaw were coming out of place and pulling at the tendons in my neck. The sound was unsettling but the tightness and the way my bones rubbed together was worse. My jaw started to tire out and, quickly, it hurt so much I was in tears.
I ponied up and called my local acupuncturist to book an appointment. The blessed soul had availability the very next day.
I can’t speak for all acupuncturists but the way mine works is:
He takes your weight, blood pressure, pulse, and asks what has brought you in. You describe your issue and he takes you to a room to lie down on a bed for treatment.
I was seeking treatment for my face, jaw, neck, and upper back. The first session involved cups and needles but, as the sessions progressed, I would receive more needles than I would cups.
I won’t pretend to know the ins and outs of this therapy but I believe cupping serves to draw out tension and the darker areas also provide a guide to the acupuncturist as to where to place needles. So, in my first treatment, I removed my shirt and got cups placed all over my back. After about 20 minutes, needles were placed at various places on my back and neck, and a needle on each of my feet. After 15 minutes, those were removed and I flipped over to have needles placed on my face, neck, hands, and feet.
It is worth stating that I didn’t feel any immediate changes to my pain and tension after the session but I did feel calmer, at ease, and I just steady. At the point of two days post-session, I can safely say about 75% of my pain was gone.
I felt dramatically different but that certainly was not enough for me to stop there. I proceeded to have weekly treatments to target my jaw and neck area. Each time, I’d go through a similar process of cups and needles. The sessions that followed were similar to my first, just with cups and needles placed in slightly different spots depending on where the pain/tension was at. As they went on, the fewer cups I needed to get because the tension I had was also lower. It felt like additional increments of that remaining 25% tension were getting alleviated each time. Even the redness and swelling were gone around session 4.
The purpose of this post is just to describe how acupuncture has helped with my TMJ and shed some light on how it helped!
I don’t yet know if I’ll need to get acupuncture for the same issue again soon or in the coming months but right now I can say that my TMJ has been greatly alleviated. Also, I noted earlier that releasing my jaw makes a difference. Well, now that the pain is largely gone, I can implement that habit and use that for preventing tension from building up as badly as it had.
FInal note: My acupuncture sessions literally became my favorite part of my week. They proved to be so relaxing (even though I had needles stuck in my skin!) that I would nearly fall asleep. Even though this alternative medicine treatment can be pricey, when you’re dealing with an issue that drastically depletes your quality of life, it is worth tending to! I’m extremely grateful to have tried this form of treatment and, if you’re dealing with TMJ or a similarly deep musculoskeletal issue, I certainly recommend giving acupuncture a try.
Today I’m sharing my biggest takeaways from blogger and self-help extraordinaire Mark Manson’s ground-breaking novel The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck.
I’ve been on a mission of self-improvement and, in doing so, slowly funding the self-help genre of books. I’ve been avidly seeking out this genre of nonfiction for new perspectives. You guys know I love finding new ways to look at a situation and I think doing so also helps make me more creative.
One of my biggest struggles of daily life is caring too much. That might sound like a petty problem on the surface but I’ve felt it hinder me all throughout my life. After discovering I was an empath and highly sensitive person a few years ago, I had an explanation for my overly-caring tendencies but not a solution. I would still struggle in my abilities to understand myself and come to terms with situations that I need to move on from.
I remember hearing people buzz about the book when it was first released a few years back but I was on a YA-genre diet of books exclusively. It wasn’t until this past December when I came across Mark Manson’s blog that I became hooked on his words. Not to be dramatic but he is basically all that I aspire to be as a writer. His material is thoughtful and relatable, as it touches on areas of life that we are always (whether knowingly or not) trying to improve in. So, after burning through many of his articles, I knew I wanted to pick up his book.
One additional thing that I want to mention is that his writing takes a very real approach to overcoming ruts and obstacles. Some self-help gurus out there will hit you with tough love to push you to change. Others are too gentle—almost using too much of a self-love approach—so that you become comfortable with accepting things as they are. Manson meets us right in the middle so that everyone can work on themselves and on giving less fucks where fucks don’t belong.
I won’t dive too deep into the details of the book because I want you guys to all go out there and read it. It helped me out so much and, if you’re a regular reader around here, it could probably help you out, too.
Eight of the Most Important Takeaways from The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck (i.e. the ones that resonated with me the most!)
Reserve your fucks for what matters
Not giving fucks is not about not caring. (That’s a lot of negatives in that sentence so I’ll repeat it.) Not giving fucks is not about not caring. Instead, it is about understanding that we don’t need to give a fuck about everything. We just need to give a fuck about something meaningful and important to us.
“Don’t hope for a life without problems. There is no such thing. Instead, hope for a life full of good problems.”
We are often of the belief that we need to rid ourselves of problems and then we will be happy. On the contrary, we need to have problems to make us feel like we are succeeding. Plus, overcoming those problems brings us self-improvement and, by consequence, happiness with ourselves.
Choose good values and metrics
According to Manson, we place value in an area and develop metrics, or a system of judgment, to assess whether or not our values are met. Rather than value things that you have no control over, the best values are of the following nature: reality-based, socially constructive, and immediate and controllable. He also addresses how to change your values and the very uncomfortable feelings that accompany such a decision.
Certainty is the enemy of growth
One of my favorite ideas is Manson’s Law of Avoidance which implies that the more something threatens your identity, the more you will avoid it. He advocates for embracing uncertainty and the discomfort that holds. It sounds counterproductive but the more you try to be certain about something the more uncertain and insecure you will feel.
Do something and the answers will follow
Even when we feel we have no direction, the moment we start doing anything, it will propel us towards figuring out what we actually want and, thus, bring us closer to what can actually benefit us.
You can’t solve other people’s problems
Likewise, other people can’t solve your problems. Neither situation leads to happiness. What we need to do is take responsibility for our own problems. For others, what we can do is support them in their journey to solve a problem but not take on the responsibility of solving their problems.
Commit to something and reject the alternative
This idea in particular really resonates with me, as someone who has a lot of trouble with making choices. I fear making the “wrong” choice but an even worse situation would be not making a choice. If we don’t make a choice, we miss out on the depth of beauty and level of content that exists only when you can commit to something aligning with your most important values.
Care about something greater than yourself
We have full control of our values and the greatest sense of happiness can be achieved when we place our fucks in worthwhile values. In the long-run, the most beneficial places to place our fucks will be in causes that help others.
When this book came into my hands, I was working through stagnation that derived from indecision. Manson’s book encouraged me to recognize that I am not wrong to feel uncertain about the choices I want to make. It provided me the outlook that having uncertainty means I’m growing. And as I grow, I meet people and opportunities that demand I make a choice. The more I make choices, the more I learn what is and what is not right for me, and the closer I am to bringing in people and opportunities that are a little more right for me. That’s all I can ask for.
What do you think? These are just super brief bullet points as to what stood out to me in The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck that personally resonated with me. I’m sure there is a topic in here that will hit home for everyone no matter where you are in your life. Have you read this book? Do any of the points I mentioned resonate with you? I’d love to hear what you think.
Aaaand if you have read it, are you as siked as I am that Mark Manson has a follow-up novel about what’s fucked up with our ideas of hope? You can view it here on Amazon! Not sponsored, just super excited!
I don’t know why it has taken me so long to write a review for a set of products that I use every day.You guys might know that last year I became an ambassador for the brand FRÉ Skincare. FRÉ makes products to meet the needs of active women or women who sweat.Let’s all put our hands up, shall we?
I’m getting sweaty on a daily basis; if not through exercise, than through the hot climate that I reside in.We’re talking So Cal summers here!So, I’ve really put these products to the test and can feel confident in saying these are top-notch.I largely attribute the luxurious feel of the products to their Argania Active Complex derived from antioxidant-rich Argan oil.It’s an integral aspect of their brand so the Argan used is high in quality and sourced carefully.I won’t go into their full story here but you can read more about it on their website!
What I will share with you here is my experience with the products!Before we dive into the review, I want to be transparent and say that FRÉ did send the products to me but I am not obligated to write a review here on my blog.Actually, nor was I obligated to use the products EVERY DAY for the past 6 months.That’s all on me!It just goes to show that when you find products that work, you stick with them.
Despite that, I will admit to having a few issues/concerns about the products and I will definitely be sharing that below.They might not be a big deal for you but I want to clearly outline anything and everything that I can so that if you are considering shopping FRÉ, you’ll know what to expect.
Without further ado, here is my breakdown of how the FRÉ Skincare line of products have performed, what I like, and what I’m not that into.
Sunscreen is a love it or hate it type of products.We all know we should be applying sunscreen anytime we may be exposed to the sun for any amount of time.Yet, how many times have you tried to be a good citizen and applied your sunscreen, only to feel a THICK, sometimes WHITE, layer on your face and have it clog up your pores?? Ugh, nothing is worse.
Enter Protect Me which is specifically designed with non-comedogenic Butyl Methoxydibenzoylmethane and Octocrylene as sunscreen ingredients.These have been studied and tested to provide UVA and UVB protection together and do not leave that thick sunscreen layer on your face.It is also worth mentioning that I’ve had zero breakouts and no issues with having a whitecast in photos because of the product.
Although, I wouldn’t be an honest blogger if I didn’t also admit that, while those above mentioned sunscreen ingredients serve to prevent clogged pores, they are also potential endocrine disruptors.Yeah, there is some light research suggesting Butyl Methoxydibenzoylmethane can mimic estrogen in the body and it’s friend Octocrylene causes cell die-off as the ingredient is exposed to UV rays.A little fishy considering these are ingredients that will be absorbed into our skin.Yet, if the alternative is not wearing sunscreen or wearing one that your skin hates, then I think this might not be a big deal.I just wanted to point this out so you guys can make an informed decision.
Maybe you’ve heard oil is the best thing to use to remove eye make-up because they work together?If not, here I am to inform you that oil is the best to use for eye make-up removal.Similarly, we need an ingredient that works with what we have on our facial skin to remove dirt and impurities.That might be an oil-based moisturizer like Purify Me!Most of my makeup is actually water-based so I have an easier time using a makeup-removing face wash or micellar water before Purify Me.
On days when I just got sweaty sans makeup, Purify Me works well alone!It is a creamy face cleanser with gentle microbeads (and not the synthetic kind that hurt the environment).The cleanser is amazing to clean and lock in moisture at the same time.I’ve mentioned how the products were designed for active/sweaty skin but I find the Argan oil ingredients are also extremely beneficial for dry skin!My skin certainly feels supple and soft after using this cleanser.
The serum is by far my favorite product right here!I can’t tell you how many facial moisturizers I’ve tried and they’re often too thick or too thin or just don’t get the job done.My skin looks and feels so much better since I started using Revive Me.
When I started using the serum, my skin broke out—not to blame the Revive Me but my skin was simply adjusting to a new and non-comedogenic product.After about a week, I notice my skin was not dry, irritated, or nearly as red as it used to be.My face was so sensitive but the serum really helped to eliminate irritation and promote my own skin’s cellular turnover.I rarely get breakouts now!
If you can only get one product to try, I would say get this serum!
This product is FRÉ Skincare’s answer to the beloved tinted moisturizer.It does not have the coverage you can achieve with a foundation or concealer but that is not expected.Similar to Protect Me, Glow Me won’t clog your pores and it is easy enough to layer with the other FRÉ products without experiencing layers and layers of heaviness.On the other hand, the tinted moisturizer has a thicker feeling than any of the other products.The tackiness goes away after a few minutes of air-drying or with a follow-up touch of powder.
Surprisingly, Glow Me does not utilize the same sunscreen ingredients as Protect Me.Instead, it uses Cyclopentasiloxane and the well-studied titanium dioxide combined with Trimethoxycaprylylsilane.I couldn’t find too much on the latter ingredient as far as testing or safety, at the moment. Cyclopentasiloxane, although it does not have the hormone disruptive effects as Butyl Methoxydibenzoylmethane, can however become toxic to organs with continued use because of the bioaccumulative nature of the chemical.Again, these are not necessarily reasons to deter anyone from trying the products but points I feel particularly inclined to research for sunscreen-containing products.
Face masks are notoriously drying or breakout-causing, for me.Yet, Detox Me utilizes the same argan oil base as all of the other products which keeps it from being drying.Of course, it serves its purpose as a mask to dislodge skin impurities and unclog pores with the help of kaolin clay and dead sea salt.
I love the way the mask feels exfoliating as you rub it on but it feels like it balances my skin’s pH as I’m wearing it.FRÉ recommends using it after working out, one to three times per week.I personally enjoy using the mask after taking a shower twice a week, ideally.
There you have it, folks!Those are the key things I would want you to know if you’re thinking of buying any of the FRÉ products.I do believe the ingredients are very skin-friendly and seem to be agreeable with all skin types—oily, dry, and everything in between.
The best way to get a feel for the products is to try them out!I am particularly drawn to the Detox Set but you can also purchase the products individually.If you are interested, be sure to use my code: MELANIEM or this link https://www.freskincare.com/MELANIEM so that you can snag a discount at checkout!
Don’t hesitate to ask if you have any questions about the products.I’m happy to provide you with answers to help you decide if FRÉ is right for you.
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