This post is an excerpt from an episode of the Make It Happen Podcast. To listen to the audio, click here.
We cannot let our “problems” turn into a mess bigger than us. That is: we are the creator or our thoughts and our worlds so, if problems seem big, it’s only because we are making them out to be big.
Anyone prone to stress and anxiety can vouch for the fact that a large part of why things get to be stressful is because we hold fear. We hold fear of what something may involve, what could happen, if it will be good or bad or not work out. So many fears!
I know it might be hard to hear, but sometimes we self-sabotage.
We need to get prepared for an event, our sleep habits are completely out of whack, or credit card bills just keep rising. I won’t say that these things are never supposed to stress us out but when we turn them into a giant tower over us, they seem insurmountable. We then either a) fear taking action or, if it is a habit or stressor that’s existed for a while, we b) fear the idea of alleviating the fear-causing situation.
That sounds bogus right? Let me reiterate that.
We get attached to our fears and our traumas and, when they have been occurring for a while, it becomes harder and harder to detach from them.
Take, for example, a negative work environment.
If you feel like you’re not that jazzed about your role and the assignments you have, or your place of employment is understaffed causing more work to be piled on your plate, or management neglects to attend to meet employees’ concerns. Whatever the case, it sucks, but at least you know what to expect. Now, I’m not for this but some people rather stick out a situation because it’s familiar and that (to them) is better than going out and finding something else.
So someone in this sort of head space who says they need to get their shit together is basically saying they need to stand up for what they want. They need to be brave and demand some changes be made–ideally some clear and specific ones to suggest to management. That’s obviously more constructive than just saying, “Work here sucks”.
Alternatively, what I would say to someone in this situation is:
If you can imagine things being better, then that better situation exists some place, too. You just have to go out and find it.
They just have to pony up and get out of their toxic workplace. Toxic relationship. Bad housing situation, or, you know, insert whatever thing or situation resonates with you. Just don’t sit back and let things happen to you. Remember: you get to decide what you take!