I tend to go really hard on things. I don’t know if this is a ME thing, a being-in-your-20s thing, a Manifesting Generator (#humandesign) thing, or maybe it’s just a human thing.
If I’m interested in something, there’s no easing in and I just want to dedicate ALL of my energy to this thing. I’m not sure if I’m interested just for the moment, perhaps because there’s something I’m meant to learn or explore, or if this will become a long-term investment for me.
Setting aside the bogus rules, naysayers, and societally-imposed stigmas about jumping around in interests, there really is no problem with being this way.
I often say something is only a problem when you think it is.
That in and of itself takes a lot of figuring out (which is a conversation for a whole ‘nother day) but to put it simply: we have full autonomy.
Someone else can attempt to force their beliefs on you, but only you can internalize them. Others can live their life a certain way, but you don’t have to follow along. Just because you haven’t seen what you imagine in existence, or having been done before, that doesn’t make it impossible.
So, it’s taken me years of bashing myself for not being able to stick with one thing and coming to a place of acceptance with my wide array of interests, and then floundering again. Yet, I feel more solid now after having gone through enough experiences with myself where I’ve seen how I am and I began to understand my patterns.
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I have waves of energy that encourage me to learn, build, meditate, take action, and so much more. I’m not meant to stay in one stage processing information or only doing. Just like the cycles of nature, remaining in one stage is simply not sustainable.
It feels sort of like that for my interests. Sometimes I want to revisit one and other times I want to move on to something new.
What gets me stuck, and what I intend to stay more aware of, is when I’m doing something based on a perceived outcome.
There are some interests I pursue personally and spend a lot of time with only to one day feel like I’ve had enough. When I say I tend to go hard with something that means, I pick up a book today on crystals and suddenly I’ll get the itch to learn more and tomorrow think about becoming a crystal healer, or something like that. This is the way my brain works.
And you might be thinking: well, it’s not a bad thing to get excited about something! We all get these little phases of being interested in things. This is true.
What I’ve learned to be careful with is not trying to turn my interest into a career.
As in: enjoy the stage of being interested in something and not jump ahead by trying to monetize it or make it MY THING before I understand how invested I am in my current interest.
Let me describe this in another way.
I low-key have thought about becoming a registered dietitian, opening a jewelry business, studying reiki, teaching meditation, becoming a monk, getting vocal lessons to become a singer, going into modeling, and so much more! These are all things you probably had no idea about because they never made it to the surface. If I had been interested in making necklaces or whatever just a little bit longer, I probably would’ve talked about it.
This isn’t to say you can’t turn an interest into a career because you certainly can! You can do whatever you want. I kind of like to let things brew underneath the surface for a while to make sure that I’m really into something before making declarations to the world, but that’s just me. At the same time, I’ve made the big declarations after much contemplation before and that didn’t keep me from changing my path.
All of this to say, maybe this is the way it is.
Ooh, so wise, right?
This is the way it is meaning… I am full of passion and a growing list of interests and I get something out of everything that I pursue. I feel that the excitement I have over these different pursuits generates this super glowing energy in me that makes others feel excited, too.
Now, I can’t control what others think or do but I’ve been told by others that they felt more confident to share something they’re into after seeing me do that (whoa!!!). This isn’t so much of a reason as for why I behave the way I do so much as it is just a possible consequence of me being myself.
I believe that when we are being ourselves, as wild, cooky, nonsensical, or ridiculous as we may feel, it encourages others to be themselves, too.
So, there isn’t any ONE PATH for me (as I’ve repeated to myself over and over again) but I feel excited each time I come home to this feeling I have right now as I write this.
It’s a feeling of being everything.
Of knowing:
I am everything.
We are everything.
There is no limit.
No limit to our power.
No limit to our voice.
No limit to our spirit.
I’ve been peacefully disconnecting with things that I’ve held tightly for so long and it’s made room for me to find that new, NEW.
This is a really miraculous and slightly cliff-hangery type of moment because I’m figuring stuff out. At the same time, I’m not asking myself: what am I going to do next? because I’ve been here before.
I’ve been in this place, and I trust that exploring what feels true to my heart will bring me everything I’ve dreamed of and even more that I never knew I wanted.
xo,
Melanie
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