In the human body, we have 7 main chakras and, in Yogic medicine, each of these is where you will find manifestations of ill health or dis-ease. In case you aren’t familiar with them, I’ll go over them briefly because this will tie in to what I share today.
- The first one begins at the base of your spine and this is your root chakra. It represents stability, grounding, and all things pertaining to home and safety.
- Above it is the sacral chakra and this is where sexuality and creation lies.
- Next is the solar plexus chakra which holds personal willpower, strength, and confidence.
- The fourth chakra is the heart center and, as you may imagine, holds the powers of compassion, connection, and love.
- The fifth, throat chakra, is the portal of communication. As I’ll share in today’s post, that’s where I’ve been feeling stagnance.
- Following this is the sixth chakra, the third eye aka your intuition.
- Lastly, the seventh chakra is the crown, the connection to the universe and spirituality, and to the collective.
All of this to say, when you feel lost or unsettled, it could be worth looking at where you feel these blockages. Sometimes you can physically feel the blocks in parts of your body. Other times, you may just notice symptoms such as lack of willpower or “no energy” if the solar plexus is underactive. Or immense stress and instability if the root chakra is out of balance. It isn’t necessary to take a scientific approach to this, rather: it is quite obvious when you read about a chakra and take note of qualities that resonate or don’t. Another thing worth noting is that, when a chakra is out of alignment, it hinders the balance of chakras above it. For example, if you are not grounded or with a certainty of your safety (root chakra), then how can you expect to cultivate the six chakras above it? Chakras are like building blocks and one needs another to form a proper foundation for self-growth.
Lately, I’ve been feeling a blockage in my throat, both literally and figuratively. This discomfort in my body has led me to take a deeper look into how I can bring about alignment in myself again.
*As a disclaimer, this post is super raw and I’m just being honest about how I feel and putting it out there because I’m at the last straw here. I hope sharing what I’ve been feeling may be helpful and resonate with someone also struggling.*
Perhaps it’s not evident to anyone except me but I realize lately that I haven’t been using my voice. It happens when I get stressed or feel pressured. Any amount of overwhelm and I clam up. Retreat. Turn inwards. It’s the easy solution. I don’t need to explain myself to anyone. No one knows any better.
This seemed to be working for a while until I started getting jaw pain. I’ve had jaw pain before, and it’s something I need to manage, but this felt different. I’m finding myself clenching my jaw in moments to get a grip on a situation or try to control my emotions. What I haven’t let myself feel is the desire to speak. I’ve been holding back and biting my tongue. Holding back to wait for the right time, holding back to not step on anyone else’s toes, holding back to convey my words and my image appropriately.
Fear of what others may think.
What’s the actual block here? I think I just fear coming off rough or callous or straight up ignorant. That’s the worst case scenario in my book. Yet, I’ve been overthinking my words to the point of silence. To the point where I don’t know what to say. For someone with lots of thoughts and ideas, and a zest for life, I suddenly feel empty. Not sad or depressed, just blank. It’s as though I’ve gotten used to not saying anything at all that I am now unable to open my mouth. Unable to find the words to express myself, even if I do want to start talking again.
Limited social interaction while staying at home has made it even easier for me to go days where I utter only a few sentences. Instead, all of the words stay inside my head. They float around like particles in the air until they form thoughts. Sometimes they don’t. There are times when words only stay as words and incomplete thoughts become worries.
A big part of the way I have learned to understand myself is by writing out my thoughts and by speaking. Writing has always been my preferred choice of expression because it feels like a clear channel from my mind to my fingertips. Speaking is interesting, too, because it helps me realize beliefs that I hold that I didn’t know I hold. You know, like when you have an idea that sounds good on paper but once you start saying it aloud to someone else you realize there are some holes in it. That’s kind of what happens with me and talking.
Maybe without my writing practice or platforms to speak, my jaw is tightening up without use and my heart feels empty without passion. If passion is what drives me to speak and I’m willingly choosing not to speak then maybe there is a trickle down effect. Energy seeks similar energy. So if I’m not using my voice, then my jaw will clench up, and consequently, my passions dwindle. Like, why pay for the electricity bill in a house that is vacant? I feel kind of vacant.
The easy solution here is to speak.
I know it sounds super easy but when you’re out of practice, when you’re so used to letting others do the talking, it gets to be really hard to imagine that you have anything at all worth saying. Worth being heard.
There’s a lot of pressure, too. Not from anyone else, exactly…but that could be the case, too. I just feel like I’ve got to say something meaningful or else what’s the point of speaking? I’ve got to give something valuable to others…. That’s actually what stops me a lot of the time. Wondering what others will think.
The funny thing is, if I heard someone else that I care about saying these things, I’d really want to encourage them to open up. I’d say, “It doesn’t matter what others think. It might not feel like there’s anyone to listen right now but that’s because you’re not speaking. Speak your truth and the right people will come.” Just like that saying in Field of Dreams, “build it and they will come.” Okay, yeah, super cheesy to reference that movie but, you know, I really feel like sometimes you’ve got to take a leap of faith even if things don’t make sense now.
When a calling to do something or say something or build something strikes, you can’t shoot yourself down before trying. You owe it to yourself to see what this idea can turn into. If you’re really passionate about this thing (which you won’t know quite how passionate you are until you get started) you’ll naturally attract the people meant to see your work or meant to connect with you.
You can’t build solely for others because where is the heart in that? I haven’t been able to speak because I feel that I’m doing so to appease others. Yet, what would happen if I just spoke because I wanted to and let things unfold from there? Maybe not everything has to have a plan or has to be the most appropriately-constructed words or ideas from the get-go because you can only get better at speaking by speaking. You can only construct a better idea by first testing out the initial one in mind. You never know what something can turn into unless you just try.