A year ago, even 6 months ago, I had so many questions.
Why did this happen?
Why didn’t my accomplishments make me proud?
Why did it seem like every minor mistake I made was blasted on the big screen?
Why did my supervisor belittle and neglect me?
Why did I get passed over for opportunities to advance even though I was qualified?
Why did the boy I love not love me enough to commit?
Why did my best friend only make time to see me when it was convenient for her?
Why aren’t I enough?
The list goes on.📃 However, the commonality with all of these questions is how riddled with self-doubt I felt and I didn’t even know it. 🙇🏻♀️ I thought I was motivated and giving everything a fair shot. I was doing the best I could but I was also wearing the shoes of a victim. I made myself small.
I felt like the world was happening around me and to me without ME having any say in it. I still feel like this almost every day. And every day I remind myself I am in control of my life.💡 Not because I have any supernatural powers to control the way things play out or how someone feels about me…but because I have control over how I choose to look at the world and the many actions that come with that.
It is approaching life with the idea that I deserve to be here instead of wondering “why me?”. It is about my development of strengths rather than being ruled by perceived weaknesses.🧗🏻♀️ It’s a shift from self-hinderance to self-empowerment.
I am growing and blossoming. In an effort to be more authentic to myself, I want to start posting more regularly on here with similar thoughts to these.
For anyone else trying to step into their own, I recognize you and I respect you. You are not alone.
Today is also Mother’s Day. From the perspective of a daughter with a challenging relationship with her own mother, I think we are all trying. Whatever shape or form that takes changes. It isn’t always understood or expressed effectively. We are trying to do our best to take care of ourselves and those we care about. 💗