Self-image only matters to one person.  By that, I mean that self-image is purely one person’s own perception of the way they carry themselves.  With May being Mental Health Month, I think it’s important to address the very real fact that the health of our mind influences the health of our body.  

In my experience, I have been in situations where talking about mental self-work (be that therapy, journaling, or any sort of practice to help tend to your thoughts and beliefs) feels superior to physicalities.  As if it doesn’t matter what we look like on the outside as long as our head is in good shape.  Respectively, mental health is so important but I don’t think we need to dismiss our physical bodies either.  Our bodies aren’t just the vehicle we use to talk, walk, and interact with the world, they are a physical manifestation of how we feel about ourselves on the inside.

Some more “intellectual” folks may snub those who care about appearances as if it is all vanity.  Both the mind and the body are beautiful though.  Bodily features like the size, shape, color, or any physical attributes are part of the beautiful unique masterpiece that is your body.  The mind for what it can create and the body for how it allows us to present ourselves and engage with the world.  

There is a mind-body connection when it comes to self-image and one helps the other.  The way I see it, if our mind feels stable and peaceful, then we are able to look at our bodies through that same lens.

It’s a complex case to describe how to achieve mental peace, and it’s a case that will mean something different for everyone, but I think a big part of that is taking ownership of yourself and being true to you.  

When I was growing up, I was constantly looking at myself in terms of lack.  I’d feel ashamed that I didn’t have something, maybe I had less money than someone else, or I wasn’t as smart in a subject area compared to my peers.  I also suffered from bouts of depression and hopelessness more times than I could count.  In my young mind, I felt that all eyes were on me and everyone knew I wasn’t capable or as well-off as I wished I was.  

When everything around me seemed so dreadful, I began focusing on my physical features.  I couldn’t “change” how smart I was but I could put on make up to make me look prettier or wear black clothing to hide myself.  I got nit-picky about everything from the moles on my skin to the size of my thighs.  It was innocent banter but my girlfriends used to joke about the size of their thighs and I thought: well, I might not have much but I do have the smallest thighs out of all of us.  It’s sickening to think back on that.

Yet, when all else seemed to suck, I needed to create my own merits for success–and that’s why I’m here now: to talk about ways to value yourself mentally and physically.  

I have picked up a strategy that I use to improve my feelings of well-being and I see how employing it helps me in many aspects of my life.

So, remember earlier when I said I’d compare myself to my peers and some were smarter in certain subjects than I was?  Here’s the thing: we’re all smart in something.  We all have unique skills, talents, and strengths.  Focusing on those over the shortcomings is how you can feel better about yourself.

When you spend time cultivating a skill or learning about something, you feel pretty empowered afterwards, right?  Not everyone has this information but you do.  For example, maybe you picked up a sport and after falling flat on your face a couple of times, you began to improve your posture and established some better techniques.  You might now be at some professional athlete’s levels (or maybe you are!) but that doesn’t mean you aren’t good and don’t have skills!

The point I’m trying to get at here is that spending time with yourself and cultivating the relationship to your inner self is what gets you out of the mental ruts that impact your view of your body and all areas of your life.  You don’t have time to worry about cellulite if you can launch a massive kick into a soccer ball that sends it flying 50 feet away.  Okay, can you tell I know nothing about soccer?  I think the biggest thing you can do for yourself is pick yourself up!

It’s great when friends or family or people you admire tell you you’re great but that isn’t everything.

At the end of the day it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.  It won’t matter if everyone in the world likes you, if you don’t like you.

The body and mind connection cannot be ignored.  Unfortunately, just attending to our physical bodies cannot get us very deep in terms of improvement in self-image.  We cannot neglect the underlying thoughts, beliefs, and feelings present in our mind.  Yet, a stronger place of mental ability–or perceived ability–we feel more capable of tackling other problems, tasks, and ventures.  Thus, we can see our body with a renewed frame of appreciation.  Maybe even be more apt to make a list of 10 things you appreciate about it instead of 10 things you hate about it.  

When you are driven by an internal sense of validation, mental purpose, and ability, you will find that your body is just as brave, strong, and empowered as your mind.