Hello bloggy blog! It feels like eons since I’ve shared a post here. I’ve been moving through different phases, attempting to do things I thought I should do, and learning that change doesn’t have to mean doing things I don’t want to do. I’ve felt like less of a jumbled mess but I think I’ve still been misdirecting myself more than I’d like. I kept running into the same roadblocks, the same hurdles, and feeling stuck. For me, these have been signs (that I kept bypassing) indicating I wasn’t in alignment. 🚫
Alignment, I feel, comes from doing what feels good to me in a way that uses my skills, talents, and abilities properly. It includes feeling supportive and seen but not forcing anything to happen. In this space, things just F L O W. 🌊This feeling is essentially what I’ve been in search of for so long, but recent months showed me that I was not living in a way that was conducive to this spirit of purpose, ease, and flow that I craved.
Let me fill you in on where I’ve been the past few months….🧐
I’ve been trying to grow my social media presence and I spent a period of time posting everyday even though I don’t always feel inspired to. It also takes a BIG chunk of my time on the daily to compose Instagram reels (which are primarily what I was posting). Just to break it down: I have to prep, film, edit, compose a caption, and then strategically post it at the right time for the algorithm, plus seek out accounts to engage with, and prepare to do that all over again. So, I was totally plowing through my energy reserves and practically making Instagram a full-time job…except it was a job that paid me nothing.🤪
What’s more important for me to note is how I was completely bypassing how I felt when the signs of unhappiness were there. 🤦
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- I lost the creative joy I used to feel from creating Instagram posts. I was making content based on what I thought would hit, and not content that I actually wanted to make.
- I was letting myself feel pressured from others to PROVE MYSELF—to prove that I am enough.
- I was following tons of business and marketing accounts and taking in an excessive amount of other people’s advice, while suppressing my exhaustion with the whole process.
- I was forcing myself to be on social media A LOT and chat/message/comment/engage when my naturally introverted self has a pretty low bandwidth for socializing.🥴
- I felt like I was trying to push products/ my services to prove myself.
- I felt like I wasn’t being seen by others for my knowledge, skills, and talents, and to combat this…I kept creating more offerings, making more posts, and doing more in an effort to get ahead.
Whew! I’m exhausted just from writing that list—but not as exhausted as I was when experiencing that practically every day for around 2 months. So when you mix it all together, what do you get? A recipe for burnout.😩
We live in a society that values productivity and practically mandates people work, in the paid sense of the word. Work is literally anything you spend your time on! If we were to look at work through this perspective, then it neutralizes it. ➡️ Work doesn’t have to be hard, laborious, stressful, involve long hours, be for someone else, or even involve pay. #ThingsINeededToBeRemindedOf The work I think we should value more is that which makes us EXCITED or brings us SATISFACTION with how we are using our energy. 🍧
I’d like to take the concept of work a step further and say it’s worthwhile work to spend time with yourself. No one taught me this but it’s something I’ve learned to be true over and over again. Therefore, excessively doing in recent months led me to craving and taking a big break (from Instagram, my podcast, and my business) to come back to me. As a creative individual, I really think spending time with myself not only recharges my battery but gives me the space to notice my own good ideas. 🎨 If you’re always around other people or doing things you don’t enjoy, that tends to silence your own inner voice. Who are you if you aren’t in touch with yourself?
Considering self-connection is an area that I have felt lost with multiple times in my life, I can offer some solid advice, from personal experience, on how to come back home to yourself.
1. CREATE SPACE🐚
It can be hard to recognize what’s not working for you when you’re IN the thick of it. In this case, you need to put some distance between you and the thing (or person).🕶️ Separation creates space. For some, this newfound space may be all they needed—i.e. It wipes an unnecessary task or two off your plate. For others, having space in their life allows them an opportunity to get some perspective—perspective that can even help them change directions. However, let’s not get ahead of things quite yet!
2. WORK ON THE BASICS
What do you fill your time with when you’re in this place of more space than ever before? 🍹 If you’re hyper-conditioned by society (hello, you’re human) or really desperate for direction, you may be tempted to launch into anything! I will caution you to take a step back and breathe. When you’ve been in the work, work, work or do, do, do mode for so long, it’s hard to be still with yourself.
When I create space in my life, I tend to cut ties with extraneous responsibilities and just focus on the absolute bare minimum. I’m not saying you have to do the absolute bare minimum but I find this helps me rest and find my footing again. 🧘♀️ Bare minimum also doesn’t mean stare at a wall all day. For fun activities: I lean into meditation, no-pressure creative projects (i.e. something you’re doing just for you), and spending time with my family and pets. These are simple things that make me feel like ME.
3. ACKNOWLEDGE THE PHASE🌻
I believe we go through cycles and sometimes we’re in a phase of the cycle that calls for doing more or doing less; sometimes it calls for planning or reassessing. Regardless of the point in the cycle we are in, we know that it will circle around, as cycles do. We struggle and overcome, and then struggle again and overcome again. That is life—filled with learning and growing. 🎱
The best thing I have found, as I luxuriate in this space, is to not put pressure on myself to hurry up and “fix” myself. I’m not spending time on rest or joyful hobbies to simply recharge and throw myself back into stuff that I hate. No. I’m spending time on these things because I deserve it and it makes me feel good. If you spend time on yourself with *rushed energy* or the energy of “I’m not deserving of taking time for myself”, then that cuts you off from yourself and all of the beautiful things in life meant for you.
I’ll leave you with a quote from one of my favorite people. Mark Groves, on the Mark Groves Podcast, says:
If you don’t take care of yourself, it’s always going to feel selfish.